PART ONE
CHAPTER 1
Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.
âBuddha
In December 2018, my wife, Ruth, and I decided to spend the holidays with my sister Martha and her family in Cambridge, England. The last time we had seen them was at our wedding in Florida, more than a year prior. We were looking forward to spending quality time with our toddler nephew and niece, Myles and Hannah. At the wedding, Myles was only a year and a half and Hannah was just two months old. A few days in, I was amazed (and drained) by Mylesâs curiosity. He was going through the âwhyâ phase, and when he was around, you would be lucky to get five seconds of peace and quiet.
âUncle, why is your shirt blue?â
âWhy are you brushing your teeth?â
âWhy are you watching TV?â
Each answer to his question would be followed by another why. Answer that question and you get another why. And another and another and another. The questions would go on and on and on. At times, conversation with Myles felt like an FBI interrogation, but the cute, innocent version. I soon realized Myles was not doing this to be annoying. In fact, he was just trying to better understand the world around him and how to best navigate it.
This experience also made me ponder whether we tend to take things for granted and lose that art of asking âwhyâ as we get older. How many people clearly understand their why and have a greater sense of their lifeâs purpose?
The Golden Circle
One of the most popular TED Talks ever given, âStart with Whyâ by bestselling author Simon Sinek (which is also the title of his book), introduces the concept of the Golden Circle: a diagram of a bullseye with âWhyâ in the innermost circle, surrounded by a ring labeled âHow,â enclosed in a ring labeled âWhat.â
- Why: your purpose, the reason you exist.
- How: the processes and methods used to fulfill the purpose.
- What: the results and outcomes.
Figure 1.1
Sinek argues that we should go from the inside out of the circle, meaning we should start by clearly understanding our why. When we have clarity about our purpose, determining the processes and desired outcomes becomes much easier.
After interviewing over four thousand of the worldâs most influential leaders, author Corey Poirier was able to conclude that your why matters. His findings made clear that the most common attribute these leaders possessed was a strong sense of clarity around their true purpose, and their actions are focused around supporting that why.
Hitting the Bullseye
Hitting the bullseye (the âWhyâ in the Golden Circle) requires a tool you can throw straight at your targetâlike a spear. Throughout human history, spears have been used both for hunting and warfare. In southern Africa, where I grew up, spears were the principle weapon, with different types of spears used for battles, hunting, and even fishing. While hunting, spears give the hunter a unique advantage to kill their prey from a distance, which is especially important considering the same prey is being hunted by predators like lions, cheetahs, and leopards. Having a tool that allows a hunter to hit the target from a safe hidden spot some yards away was game-changing.
Still an effective form of weaponry even in this modern age, the spear has largely remained the same over time. Not only has the physical spear stood the test of time, but so too has the figurative spear, which holds the namesake of my life method, S.P.E.A.R.
The S in the S.P.E.A.R. method stands for seek. For you to achieve success and ultimately attain fulfillment, you first must seek and understand your lifeâs purpose and callingâyour why. Your lifeâs purpose acts as a GPS to guide you to the goals you will set for yourself, and the actions you will take in your quest to a fulfilling life. So the pressing question becomes: how do you determine your lifeâs purpose?
I will be the first to admit that finding your lifeâs purpose is not easy, and no foolproof exercise exists that guarantees you will discover it. However, you can take certain steps that may lead you there or at the very least get you quite close. For a long time, I struggled to clearly articulate my lifeâs purpose. I was only able to fully grasp it after working with Rich Keller, a motivational speaker and personal branding expert. A graduate of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, Rich pursued an adventurous corporate career with brands like Godiva and Chips Ahoy! After Rich overcome cancer at age twenty-six, he found his why. Heâd spent years in the corporate world but had always wanted to help young adults uncover their unique power. He resigned from his job and started Catalyst Branding Foundations, a company dedicated to discovering your core value. He developed a process to get the core of who you are down to one word. His word is CATALYST, and he lives every letter of it.
When we started working together, Rich asked me to send an email to five people who knew me best. I asked them all one question: âWhat makes me unique?â All seven of my respondents (yes, I overdelivered) named similar qualitiesâmy focus on entrepreneurship, social impact, and empowerment. This consistent feedback helped me understand myself better, and I gained clarity on my calling. Having insight from others gives you a better sense of how to leverage your uniqueness and deliver value to the world.
If you do not know your purpose, consider reaching out to about five (or seven) people who know you well and ask them what makes you unique.
If you already have a sense of your lifeâs purpose, I encourage you to do the exercise anyway. You may uncover a few strengths or reaffirm what you already know. Either way, youâll eliminate self-doubt.
The more self-aware you are, the better. Asking soul-searching questions is the first step to recognizing your whyâyour lifeâs purpose. You will be surprised to learn you already know the answers to what you seek.
Questions you can ask yourself to help you find your purpose:
- What excites me?
- When am I most comfortable?
- What am I willing to make sacrifices for?
- Which of my traits and attributes tend to stand out the most?
- What do others say I am meant to do with my life?
- Where do I find the most inspiration?
- With a year to live, what would I spend most of time working on?
- Where could I provide the most value to others?
- But donât stop there. Seeking your purpose takes time and, more importantly, curiosity.
CHAPTER 2
I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
âAlbert Einstein
If most kids were to get $20 from their grandmother, spending it on toys or treats would be at the top of their list of what to do with the money (the younger me would have spent it on ice cream). But not if you are Joshua Williams. Growing up in South Florida from a family of Jamaican descent, Joshua received $20 as a gift from his grandmother. On his way to church, he saw a homeless man begging for help with a sign that said, âNeed Food, Lost My Job.â In that moment, Joshua immediately knew what he had to do. The four-and-half-year-old boy gave this man the $20 he had just been given. Joshua had concluded that this man desperately needed the money more than he did.
A few weeks later, Joshua saw a commercial on TV about children suffering from hunger. He remembered the ho...