Liquid Thinking

Inspirational Lessons from the World's Great Achievers

Damian Hughes

• Publisher: Capstone
• Year: 2010
• ISBN:
  9781907293627
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Small Business
• Index: Business

Stuck in a rut? Know what you want but don't know how to get it? Feel like life is passing you by? Sick of getting mediocre results? Then enter the wonderful world of Liquid Thinking…

A practical, jargon-free and easily accessible self-help book drawing on a diverse range of experiences and containing digestible lessons and exercises used by sports captains, charity leaders and business leaders. It is the only self-help book which has ever been endorsed by Sir Richard Branson, Angelo Dundee, Muhammad Ali, and Jonny Wilkinson.

It is a brave man who starts his book on self development by quoting Jerry Springer and discussing the literary merits of the Joy of Sex; however, this is Damian Hughes to a tee. Combining his own experiences as a Manchester United football coach, HR Director and youth club leader with exclusive insights from Sir Richard Branson, Angelo Dundee, Muhammad Ali and Jonny Wilkinson, Hughes will help you to step forward to achieve your own special hopes, dreams and ambition.

The books have been credited with helping people build their own houses, fight cancer and run marathons, so come on and be a fellow Liquid Thinker!

CHAPTER 1

SINK OR SWIM

“No matter what your age, you are responsible for your own actions, irrespective of the actions or inactions of anybody else. If you are past the age of legal reason, you and only you are accountable for what you do or what you don’t do.”

 

JERRY SPRINGER, TALK SHOW HOST AND FORMER
MAYOR OF CINCINNATI

Jerry Springer, eh? And you thought this book would contain quotes from loads of famous dead people. Well, in my view his words are really relevant to this book and, more importantly, to you.

It is often said that there are three types of people in the world:

• those who make things happen

• those who watch what happened

• and those who say “What happened?”

I am continually amazed and fascinated by the number of people who either consciously or unconsciously believe in fate. What do I mean by that? Try it yourself - listen to your colleagues and your mates talking and count how many times a day you hear them say “if only”. “If only the managers here knew how good I am . . . if only people would realise how talented I am . . . if only I had more money . . . if only I were a bit younger . . . if only I were older . . . if only I were in charge around here . . . if only people would listen to me . . . I’d be more successful.”

Count how many times you hear yourself saying it (or words to that effect) - and then think about how much energy you’re using up in moaning and what you could be using it for instead.

Woody Allen said that the world is run by the people who turn up. When you talk to any successful person, they all say that in life there are either results or excuses.

Or think about what writer George Bernard Shaw said:

“People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances that they want . . . and if they can’t find them, they make them.”

Richard Branson found the right circumstances to build a business. He decided to set up his Virgin Atlantic airline after he had tried to book a flight to New York and had spent a morning hitting the redial button on the phone, as the only current company doing flights to America was continually engaged. How many of us would find ourselves cursing and getting frustrated? Instead, he saw an opportunity. He reasoned that the company was either very poorly managed, in which case it would be an easy target for new competition, or so much in demand that there was room for new competition. He saw a result, not an excuse to give up trying.

Literally everything you do and everything you are - from how much money you earn to where you work, how successful you are as a parent, a friend or a workmate, and where you live - is a direct result of the decisions you have then made. You’ve made the decision to pick up this book and read up to this point. I would therefore encourage you to make another decision to read on. You’ll read about the lessons you can learn from meeting and reading about successful people, and I hope the structure of the book will make you think and help you achieve what you really want.

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish prisoner who survived the Nazi concentration camps but saw his wife and children killed in them. He has written a book about his experiences and talks about how he was forced to face the worst possible circumstances anyone could imagine, but he still believed that he had a choice. The only thing the Nazis couldn’t take from him was his own attitude. He made a deliberate decision that they would not dictate how he felt. He could choose that. He said:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

If that powerful message isn’t enough to persuade you to make a choice about your attitude, there is another good reason. You will live longer. You may respond to that by arguing that there is no way taking responsibility for yourself and your circumstances can influence your life expectancy, that lots of variables come into play: diet, work pressures, diseases and so on. So where could you do a study where everyone was submitted to the same environment? How about a convent?

A group of psychologists analysed the attitude of nuns before they entered a convent. They discovered that 90 per cent of the nuns who took personal responsibility for themselves and their lives were still alive at the age of 84. In contrast, only 34 per cent of those who didn’t accept full accountability were alive.

Finally, if Jerry Springer is a little too lowbrow for you, I will finish off this chapter by quoting from another notable philosopher, Oprah Winfrey:

“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life‘,but you are responsible for doing your very best at it at this very moment, which will put you in the best place for the next moment.”

Do you choose to sink or swim?

Action

Start to accept that you are 100 per cent accountable and responsible for you and your life, your feelings and every result you get. Stop making excuses and start to believe that you are the cause rather than the effect.

In 1964, when Russian leader Nikita Khrushchev was removed from power, he wrote two letters, which he handed to his successor, Brezhnev. He told him, when you get yourself into a situation that you are struggling to get out of, open the first letter. If it happens again, open the second one. Sure enough, trouble soon started to brew and eventually Brezhnev remembered the advice and opened up the first letter. It read, “Blame everything on me.” And so he told everyone that it was the fault of the old guy, Khrushchev, and the crisis died down and soon passed. Shortly afterwards, when another row threatened and trouble flared up again, Brezhnev remembered how effective the advice had been and so opened the second letter. This one said, “Start writing two letters.”

Don’t blame others. Accept personal responsibility.

CHAPTER 2

ARE YOU A DRIFTER?

“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and adventure to discover our own special light.”

MARY DUNBAR

When you go to a funeral, do you ever find yourself thinking about your own funeral, how many people would come and who would be there? If you don’t end up dismissing these thoughts as morbid or depressing, do you ever think about the funeral in a bit more detail and imagine what people would be saying about you? What do you think your family, your mates and your work colleagues would say about you? Stop for a second and consider this.

Beyond the usual comments about being great fun, always standing your round and being a good husband/wife/dad and so on, do you think anyone would be able to say what your purpose was, why you were on earth?

Wayne Bennett, a legendary Australian rugby league coach, summed this up well when, before a State of Origin match (the sporting series of Australia), he challenged his players to train and play as well as they possibly could, in order to fulfil the purpose which they had been assigned and which they were born to meet, with the words:

“Don’t die with the music in you!”

What a brilliant phrase that is. What do you think is the music in you?

Psychologist Sigmund Freud called our purpose “the golden seed”. At some stage in their formative years, most successful people remember someone telling them that they had a special talent. It could have been a teacher, a first boss, a priest, occasionally a relative, sometimes a mother or father. They tucked this private nugget away in their heart, but in times of doubt or uncertainty they pulled it out to reassure themselves that they were indeed pursuing their purpose.

Lance Armstrong, who fell in love with cycling at the age of 15, was influenced by his mother, who wanted him to keep fit and active. Richard Branson, one of Britain’s most successful entrepreneurs, discovered his talent when he started a school magazine with some mates. Muhammad Ali’s anger at feeling powerless to stop his bike being stolen by bigger, stronger kids led him to a boxing ring, where he was encouraged by his local police officer. For Tim Waterstone, the founder of the famous bookshops, it was a fascination with marketing along with his interest in books that fired his passion for bookselling. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, was called a “stupid, muddle-headed blockhead” by a teacher at school. His mother who recognized his “golden seed” and she went to the school and told the teachers that her son possessed real intelligence. He said:

“She cast over me an influence which has lasted all my life. The good effects of her early teachings and belief I can never lose. My mother never misunderstood or misjudged me.”

We all have a unique purpose. So how do you discover yours?

Here are a few suggestions for you to think about:

Don’t confuse your job and your purpose - they’re not the same

Your job shouldn’t define you. It should link in with your purpose, but it should not be your purpose. After all, what would you do if your job suddenly changed or disappeared? Think about how many people you know who have used the motivator of redundancy or retirement as a catalyst to go and do what they have always wanted. Your job should support what you have always wanted to do.

Richard Branson believes, “If you are working for what really matters - your purpose - you will give it all you’ve got.”

Don’t mistake your relationships for your purpose

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating that you leave your partner, but think of the film Shirley Valentine. She knew that her marriage didn’t suit her life and so she fled to Greece to try and find her purpose. Your relationship should be consistent with your destiny, but it should not be your destiny. After all, a shared purpose is going to be even more powerful.

Your goals need to fit your purpose

I write about goals in a later chapter, but what you do on a day-to-day basis should fit with your purpose. Do you find that you easily get caught up in tackling problems for others rather than being able to devote time to yourself and your purpose? Success is not the result of luck or spontaneous combustion. You must first set yourself on fire. Are you too busy putting out fires to be able to start any of your own?

Your purpose doesn’t have to be overly impressive

Your purpose doesn’t have to be all about resolving world peace or curing cancer (you aren’t a Miss World contestant), so don’t feel a need to invent something that is. Your purpose has to impress only you.

Your purpose doesn’t have to make you a martyr

Your purpose should fit you like a glove and should not be governed by what others think of it. You are going to be the person living your purpose and so if it excites you, that’s all that counts.

Your purpose doesn’t need to be complex

Keep your purpose simple. Let it say something that stirs your soul and helps you to realize you are here to achieve.

Jack Welch, the former head of General Electric who retired in 2001 after turning it into the world’s most valuable company, said:

“Good business leaders also create a purpose, articulate this purpose, passionately own it and relentlessly drive it to completion.”

Aim to have a clear purpose about what your life means and be able to explain what you are here to achieve.

A great example of someone who discovered their purpose is the seven-times Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. At the age of 24 he was diagnosed with testicular cancer and doctors gave him only a 40 per cent chance of survival. He said:

“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe I - we all - can learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there than hope. In that situation, we all hav...