101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens

Using Metaphors in Therapy

George W. Burns

• Publisher: Wiley
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781118428894
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Psychologie
• Subtopic: Psychotherapie

A comprehensive guide to understanding and using storytelling in therapy with kids and teens "George Burns is a highly experienced clinician with the remarkable ability to create, discover, and tell engaging stories that can teach us all the most important lessons in life. With 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens, he strives especially to help kids and teens learn these life lessons early on, providing them opportunities for getting help and even learning to think preventively."
-Michael D. Yapko, PhD | Author of Breaking the Patterns of Depression and Hand-Me-Down Blues "George Burns takes the reader on a wonderful journey, balancing metaphor, good therapeutic technique, and empirical foundations during the trip. Given that Burns utilizes all three aspects of the Confucian story referred to in the book-teaching, showing, and involving-readers should increase their understanding of how stories can be used therapeutically."
-Richard G. Whiteside, MSW | Author of The Art of Using and Losing Control and Working with Difficult Clients: A Practical Guide to Better Therapy "A treasure trove for parents and for professionals in the child-development fields."
-Jeffrey K. Zeig, PhD | Director, The Milton H. Erickson Foundation Stories can play an important and potent role in therapy with children and adolescents-helping them develop the skills to cope with and survive a myriad of life situations. In many cases, stories provide the most effective means of communicating what kids and teens might not want to discuss directly. 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens provides straightforward advice on using storytelling and metaphors in a variety of therapeutic settings. Ideal for all who work with young people, this unique resource can be combined with other inventive and evidence-based techniques such as play, art, music, and drama therapies as well as solution focused, hypnotic, and cognitive-behavioral approaches. Offering guidance for new clinicians and seasoned professionals, George Burns's latest work delivers a unique combination-information on incorporating storytelling in therapy, dozens of ready-made stories, and tips for creating original therapeutic stories. Innovative chapters include:
* Guidance for effective storytelling
* Using metaphors effectively
* Where to get ideas for healing stories
* Planning and presenting healing stories
* Teaching parents to use healing stories
In addition, 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens includes dozens of story ideas designed to address a variety of issues, such as:
* Enriching learning
* Teaching self-care
* Changing patterns of behavior
* Managing relationships, emotions, and life challenges
* Creating helpful thoughts
* Developing life skills and problem-solving techniques

STORY 1

A Story of the Story

Let me introduce you to a character you will encounter several times in stories and discussions throughout this book. His name is Fred Mouse, and he lives in a hole in the wall in the corner of the house as he always has done since he first joined our family two generations ago. He came along one night when my daughter wanted a bedside story but was not interested in the tired old storybooks she had heard time and time again. He came from nowhere in particular, a necessity of the situation, and told a simple tale that replicated her activities of the day. The next night, despite a fresh supply of colorful storybooks from the library, my daughter wanted Fred Mouse . . . and he stayed, entertaining and informing my daughter, my son, and my grandson, and is just entering the life of my little granddaughter.

For a tiny—and sometimes timid—mouse, Fred has two special qualities that make him such a good storyteller. First, he listens with his heart, and second, he spins a story based on his observations. Once, for example, he told a tale of a special adventure with his very dear friend Thomas (my grandson) that began when Fred found a fragile, dusty old treasure map while exploring the hidden gaps in the walls of the house. Carefully, he and Thomas unrolled it on the floor and began to study it.

“Look!” said Thomas, “It is right here near Grandpa George’s house.”

“And it has a dotted trail leading to Mount Thomas,” added Fred.

“I know where that is,” exclaimed Thomas, “because I climbed it and Grandpa George named it after me.”

So Fred and Thomas followed the map to the summit from where they heard, way below, a heavy thump, thump, thump, and peered down to see a huge, mean-looking dinosaur stomping around squishing people under his bigger-than-elephant feet. The people called him Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex, and as they ran to escape him they were stomping on ants. What a disaster! The dinosaur was squishing people, and the people were squishing ants, and none of them heard each other’s cries for help.

The map pointed Fred Mouse and Thomas to a secret cave just below the summit that was easy to enter for a mouse of Fred’s size, but a tight, wriggly squeeze for Thomas. Inside, they were in a different world, walking through swamps and jungles, along beaches and over islands until they found a big, old wooden treasure chest, right where the cross was marked on the map.

Can you imagine their excitement? And then their disappointment to discover the old wooden treasure chest was secured with a rusty old padlock for which they had no key. Thomas climbed down to Grandpa George’s house to borrow a tool box, and with a lot pushing and tugging, pulling and shoving, banging and twisting, the padlock eventually popped open, allowing them to lift the stiff lid with a long, slow creeeaking sound.

Imagine how much more disappointed they were to find the chest held no gold or precious jewels. Just as well, thought Fred, for gold and jewels could not help them save the people or the ants from Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex. Thomas had hoped for a mighty sword with which, heroically, he could slay the bad dinosaur, but the chest contained nothing more than a story. They were about to drop the lid shut when the Story spoke.

“Wait,” it called, “I am a magic story bestowed with all the powers of every story that has ever been told or written. As you have discovered me, it is my duty to help you. Tell me what I can do?”

“Well,” said Fred Mouse, “we have a very big problem,” thinking of the size of Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex when viewed from the lowly height of a mouse, and he told how people, who were squishing ants, were being squished by a big bad Tyrannosaurus.

“Let us visit the ants,” said the Story, so they followed a long, busy line of ants to their nest where ants chaotically scurried in every direction—for someone had stood on the nest, squishing their homes and many of their friends. As Fred Mouse and Thomas gently handed the Story to the queen ant, it began a tale in the ants’ own language. Silence fell on the confusion as ants stopped scurrying and gathered to listen to a tale Fred and Thomas could not understand. Silence remained for a while after the story finished, then the ants spoke in hushed voices among themselves and with the Story. Fred and Thomas saw them nodding as if in agreement.

Eventually the Story said, “Let us go visit the people.”

They, too, were running about in confusion. Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex had just stomped through their village, flattening cars, knocking down houses, destroying schools, and squishing people. Fred Mouse and Thomas listened to their distress and, not knowing how else to help, gave them the Story. Again the Story brought calm to the confusion as people stopped to listen, entranced, comforted, encouraged, guided, and hopeful.

“Now,” said the Story, “It is time for us to find one Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex.”

This was a scary suggestion for a tiny, timid mouse like Fred and even a boy as brave as Thomas, but it wasn’t hard to follow the trail of a careless dinosaur whose huge feet punched imprints into farmers’ paddocks, flattened bushes, and knocked over trees, finally leading to a tall tree under which Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex lay snoring peacefully. Thomas quietly crept past his long greenish tail, around his big strong legs, past his fat belly, and up his neck, and placed the Story gently by his ear. The Tyrannosaurus pricked up his ear, slowly opened an eye, and listened to a story in dinosaur language. A tear rolled from his eye and down his cheek, dropping to the ground near Fred Mouse and Thomas, who had to duck quickly, for it was like someone throwing a bucket of water at them from an upstairs window.

“Come,” beckoned the Story, “Climb up on Rex’s head. We are going back to visit the people and the ants.”

Wow! How exciting! Fred and Thomas had never dreamed of riding on a dinosaur’s head. How carefully he placed his feet to avoid flattening farmers’ crops and people’s homes. Back in the village the Story broke down the barriers and bridged the gaps, translating among dinosaur, people, and ants in a way that all could understand.

“Let’s celebrate,” someone shouted, and they put on the weirdest party you could imagine. Rex blew up the balloons, for he had more puff than anyone else. The people supplied the food that they had cultivated and stored, while the ants offered to clean up the scraps after. And everyone felt happier than they had for a long time.

In a quiet moment, Fred Mouse and Thomas asked the Story, “How did you do it? What was the story you told?”

“It is easy to become so involved in our own story,” replied the Story, “that we don’t hear the stories of others. As our stories shape the ways we see things and the ways we respond to events, I simply told the ants the people’s story: how, like the ants, their homes and lives were being destroyed—so they were not deliberately squishing ants but, in looking up and watching out for the Tyrannosaurus Bad Rex, they were not looking down to see what they were doing to the ants. Then I told the people the ants’ story, and the dinosaur the people’s story, for he, wrapped in his own loneliness, had not realized what he was doing to the people.

Hearing the stories, the ants offered to help the people by cleaning up after them if the people took care where they stepped, and the people offered to befriend lonely Rex if he watched where he stepped, and Rex offered to tread carefully if the people and ants would be his friends.

“Stories,” continued the Story, “can make and stop wars, destroy and build friendships, confuse and inform our thinking, burden and enrich our world. Used as carefully as Rex has learned to walk, they have the power to solve our problems and shape our lives.”

If there was more to hear from the Story, Fred Mouse and Thomas didn’t hear it for in gratitude, everyone had begun to thump the table, calling, “Speech! speech!” to Fred. Rex was so enthusiastic that he almost smashed the table before reminding himself it was okay to be enthusiastic carefully. When Fred spoke he thanked everyone for listening to, and acting on, the stories. He announced that Rex should henceforth be known as Tyrannosaurus Good Rex, and that the Story should no longer be hidden in a dusty old chest but be available as a treasure for everyone.

Part One

Effective Storytelling for Kids and Teens

Chapter 1

The Magic of Metaphor

WHY TELL HEALING AND TEACHING STORIES TO KIDS AND TEENS?

Do you remember what it was like as a young child to have a parent or grandparent sit on the side of your bed at night and read a story that gave you permission to journey into your own fantasies? How the magic of the story engaged you, entranced you, changed you into a different yet somehow familiar character, and took you into experiences you may not yet have encountered? How, in the process, you discovered something new about yourself, felt the emotion of reaching the tale’s conclusion, and shared a special intimacy with the teller?

From time immemorial, stories, legends, and parables have been effective and preferred methods for communicating information, teaching values, and sharing the important lessons of life. Just hearing those often-expressed four words “Once upon a time . . .” is like an instant switch from reality to pretense or to an altered level of processing. They are like a hypnotic induction, an invitation to participate in a unique relationship with both the teller and the story’s characters. They are words that invite the listener on a journey into a world of imagination where reality may be suspended, and learning can be potent. They are an invitation into a special realm of experience where listeners are entranced, attention is focused, and one can share the emotions of the fictional hero. They invite participation in a relationship in which teller and listener share an interactive bond.

Stories have many important characteristics of effective communication:

1. They are interactive.

2. They teach by attraction.

3. They bypass resistance.

4. They engage and nurture imagination.

5. They develop problem-solving skills.

6. They create outcome possibilities.

7. They invite independent decision making.

In these ways they replicate many of the characteristics we seek to create in our therapeutic relationships with children, for as we engage in the process of listening to stories our relationships with self, others, and the world at large are likely to change. While we may or may not notice it, the sharing of stories can build relationships, challenge ideas, provide models for future behavior, and enhance understanding. In the characters and teller we may see some of ourselves and be influenced, little by little, by their attitudes, values and skills. It has been said before that once we have heard a story we can never unhear it, that something may have changed forever. Thus, stories are a logical and productive means for therapeutically communicating with kids.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF TEACHING TALES

From long before our ancestors began to paint on the walls of caves, chisel symbols into stone, or print words on paper, elders have passed stories on to younger people. Perhaps some of the oldest living tales can be found in the legends of the Australian Aboriginals. One that provides an explanation of natural phenomena such as fire, stars, and crows, and has a strong moral message, begins with seven women who control fire, and Wakala, a man who manipulatively steals the control for himself. Now powerless, the women flee into the sky, becoming the constellation of the Seven Sisters, while Wakala selfishly refuses to share his fire with anyone, mocking them by calling out, “Wah, wah,” whenever they ask. In a fit of temper he throws coals at some men who ask, starting a wildfire in which he himself is incinerated. As the men watch, his corpse is transformed into the blackened body of a crow, flies into a tree, and sits there calling “Wah, wah.”

Through such seemingly simple tales, elders communicated to the younger generation messages about not stealing, being selfish, or losing your temper. Through stories they shaped the ideas, beliefs, morality, and behavior of a whole culture, generation upon generation. Telling children stories is as ancient and entrenched as the history of communication itself.

San Diego-based psychologist Michael Yapko, in writing about effective methods of communication with hypnosis, claims that “Stories as teaching tools have been the principal means of educating and socializing people throughout human history” (Yapko, 2003, p. 433; italics added). Over time and across all cultures they have been used as a form of effective communication and education, passing on from generation to generation the attitudes, values, and behaviors necessary for survival and success in life. Stories like the biblical account of creation, the Australian Aboriginal dreamtime legends, or the myths of ancient Greece explain how our world came into being, how human beings were created, and where animals came from. We, as a species, have used stories to explain our world and its origins. These stories help us to define and understand much of what otherwise might be unexplained. In so doing, they also enable us to create our world. If our stories of the world are based on creationist theology, we may live our lives with fear of damnation to hell and desires of reaching heaven. If our stories of the world are about the interconnectedness of all livings beings with the planet, we may tread gently and with respect for both the earth and its creatures. If we are brought up on stories about animosity and hostility between religions and cultures, we may be more prone to conflict with our neighbors and, thus, destined to a life of hatre...