Part I
Getting to Grips with Flirting
In this part . . .
This part contains all the fundamentals of flirting you need, as well as info on how to fix your flirting approach. I aim to make you ready and motivated to get out there and start mixing it up with friends, colleagues, and potential dates.
Chapter 1
The Making of a Successful Flirt
In This Chapter
Understanding the fundamentals of flirting Recognising and sending flirting signals Putting yourself in the flirting zone Mother Nature has blessed you with all the skills you need to be a super flirt. Perhaps youâve lost touch with these skills along the way or havenât used them enough to have full confidence in them, but believe me you do have the skills and you can improve them to whatever degree you desire.
Flirting is a subtle combination of body language, confidence, attitude, and appearance. You can employ these features of your character to flirt in different ways, from the innocent, non-sexual, mutual kind of flirting where youâre not attracted to the other person to full-on flirting when youâre madly attracted to someone. Flirtingâs not just about sex, although that is a very pleasant by-product when the feelingâs mutual, but about making personal connections with people you find interesting and want to get to know.
When you flirt with someone they feel good about themselves, and in return you feel good too. Being flirted with is the ultimate confidence booster and itâs free.
If youâve ever felt that a chapter out of your flirting life felt more like âHow to lose friends and alienate peopleâ, then your flirting exploits are just about to make a huge paradigm shift.
Flirting Fundamentals
For most people, the big flirting concerns are:
How do I get people to notice me? How can I tell if they fancy me? How do I move things on from being just friends? I cover all of these issues in this book. What you need to know now are some of the basic principles that apply to flirting, explained in the following sections.
Tuning animal instincts
Flirting in the human and animal worlds has been studied by everyone from anthropologists to psychologists and you can use their findings to your benefit.
In the animal kingdom, the males are adorned with ornate tail feathers, impressive manes, or striking markings to attract a female. In humans, however, the situationâs reversed: with the exception of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries when men sported massive wigs and flamboyant clothing, women have taken on the role of prettying themselves to attract a mate.
Studies show that women initiate flirting 90 per cent of the time. Although men appear to do most of the running, they actually do so because women have invited their advances with their flirting signals. In addition, both humans and animals follow species-specific mating rituals and displays that the other members are familiar with. Human courtship follows a five-step pattern when you meet someone youâre attracted to:
1. You make eye contact. A passing glance doesnât cut it; flirting requires a deliberate eye contact thatâs held long enough for the other person to definitely notice.
2. You smile. Smiling shows you have an interest and is a non-verbal way to invite someoneâs attention.
3. You preen a bit. Arranging your hair, smoothing your clothes, and positioning yourself on your best side catches the attention of interested parties.
4. You build rapport. Disclosing personal information about yourself and asking questions about the other person accelerates the attraction process.
5. You find reasons to touch both yourself and the other person. Touching yourself in autoerotic gestures and touching them at moments of increased rapport lets them know youâre interested.
Follow your animal instincts to attract more friends and lovers. If you want to attract the opposite sex, emphasise your sexual differences; to discourage an attraction, downplay your differences. Flirting: A game of two halves
It takes two to flirt. You canât flirt at someone; to have any chance of success, you flirt with them. Flirting with someone is like dancing: the movements are co-ordinated, but different.
In general, your role in and success with a romantic flirtation is determined by your gender. Womenâs success with men is directly related to their ability to send out courtship signals and to interpret how they reciprocate. Menâs success with women relies on their ability to read the signals being sent to them, as opposed to being able to initiate their own flirting rituals. Both women and ... 
_fmt-plgo-compressed.webp)
