Parenting For Dummies, UK Edition

Helen Brown

• Publisher: For Dummies
• Year: 2011
• Print ISBN: 9780470027141
• eBook ISBN: 9781119997092
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Personal Development

Having a baby is an incredible experience, and the ultimate responsibility! Parenting is a job that you start with no training at all – and friends and family always seem to be the first to tell you how best to bring up your children. But there's no sure-fire formula for raising kids. Maybe that's because every child, like every parent, is an individual, and no two parent-child relationships are ever the same. So, you can give up any notions of being a perfect parent. But, you can learn to keep the big mistakes to a minimum and make the parenting experience easier and more rewarding for your children and yourself. Which is where this book comes in.

Covering information for newborns to pre-teens, Parenting For Dummies gives you the essentials of parenting basics. From dealing with a crying baby and potty training, to building self-esteem and dealing with sibling rivalry, it offers a gold mine of up-to-date advice.

Part I

All About You: What Every Parent Should Know

In this part . . .

P arenting’s a skill and, like any other skill, it needs takes lots of learning and plenty of practice. But there are a few basics it’s worth boning up on right from the start. And you’ll find them all in this part. From understanding how much becoming a parent may change you, to finding great back-up and brilliant childcare. From realising it’s up to you to set boundaries, to accepting that parental perfection doesn’t exist (and is not what your kids really want, anyway). Best of all, you’ll discover the parenting secrets that’ll work for you, and your children, for many years to come.

Chapter 1

Help! Where Do I Start? The Basics

In This Chapter

Doing the parenting reality check

Understanding what makes a child tick at different ages

Realising what being a parent means

Take off those rose-tinted spectacles right now: You need to get the picture nice and clearly. Parenting is tough. Yes, it’s rewarding, enjoyable, and absolutely brilliant at times, but it is tough. And that’s because life changes when you have children. In all sorts of ways. And adjusting to change (however nice) isn’t easy.

Now, at this point, I have to tell you that anyone who’d told a pregnant me that life was going to get tough when my baby arrived would’ve been given shrift so short you’d need a microscope to see it. I mean, I wasn’t naive. I knew things were going to be different. But I didn’t know how different. Which is why I’m sticking my older, wiser neck on the line and telling you now.

Having children forces you to plumb parts of yourself you never knew existed, to dredge up superhuman levels of patience, to be firm and consistent even if you’re wobbly inside, to be bouncy and enthusiastic when all you really want to do is crawl into bed and catch up on a few thousand hours of lost sleep. And that is all good stuff, when you think about it; it just doesn’t come very naturally. So, this chapter’s here to ease you in gently, with a little snapshot of what to expect – from your child and yourself – in the parenting years to come. Enjoy the ride!

Knowing Your Child: Ages and Stages

Between birth and 9, your child goes through four distinct developmental stages (baby, toddler, preschooler, schoolchild) and each one has its own particular delights – and challenges. You’ll find loads of specific tips to help you deal with each of these stages in Parts II to V of this book but, here, as a kind of taster, is a brief overview of how it all pans out, parenting-wise.

Baby

The Baby stage runs from your child’s actual birth day to her first birthday. It’s the shortest stage but probably the one with the steepest, most stunning learning curve – for both of you!

What she’s like

She’s getting bigger by the day – sometimes quite literally. In just 12 months, she’s going to grow from a helpless teeny babe-in-arms to a moving, babbling tot. Until then, you must do everything for her and be everything to her; you are the centre of her universe.

What she needs from you

This is the holding year. Your baby needs you to cuddle her, soothe her, and cradle her close. And this situation is, of course, the most wonderful thing – except when you’re desperate to eat or sleep. Later, as she becomes more mobile, she needs you to hold her steady and catch her when she falls.

Toddler

The Toddler stage covers ages 1 to 3. These are the vivacious, vocal, – and, sometimes, volatile! – years. Your child will test your patience one minute, melt your heart the next.

What she’s like

She’s a little ball of energy, scooting at lightning speed from pillar to post (except when you need to get anywhere fast, when she immediately slows to sub-funereal pace). She’s starting to talk and is developing a theatrically strong urge to do things her own way.

What she needs from you

These are the shadowing years. Your toddler needs you to follow her closely, allowing her some chance to explore on her own but staying near enough to keep her from harm. She also needs you to keep a close eye on her behaviour – and teach her that throwing a tantrum isn’t the best way to express feelings and doesn’t get her what she wants.

Preschooler

The Preschooler stage takes your child from 3 to 5 years old. It’s a time of fun and first friendships, and of finding her feet at playgroup or preschool.

What she’s like

She’s an inquisitive, imaginative, often cheeky little thing, full of enthusiasm for life and bursting with endless (often gobsmacking) questions about how the world works. She likes being busy and active and doing things for herself, and is taking a growing delight in playing (but not necessarily always sharing) with friends her own age.

What she needs from you

These are the shepherding years. Your preschooler needs you to show her the path and then let her make her own way down it, safe in the knowledge that you’re watching ...

Table of contents

• Title
• Contents
• Introduction
• Part I : All About You: What Every Parent Should Know
• Part II : All About Babies
• Part III : All About Toddlers
• Part IV : All About Preschoolers
• Part V : All About Schoolies
• Part VI : All About Siblings
• Part VII : The Part of Tens
• : Further Reading