CHAPTER 1
Pregnancy
#1: Congratulate Yourself and Celebrate!
My eyes stared at the black-and-white image on the screen. Seven weeks pregnant and spotting, I held my breath as my obstetrician performed a fetal ultrasound to look for signs of life. I knew the statistics: if she found a heartbeat, the chances of survival for the baby would be over 90 percent.
As the ultrasound probe scanned my uterus, a flickering heart popped up on the screen. “Congratulations!” she said. “You are definitely pregnant, and it looks like the baby is doing fine.” Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at my healthy baby.
Just then we saw a whitish mass. “This could be a little blood clot,” she said. Just as soon as she said that, we both gasped. Indeed, the mass was not a clot at all! There on the screen was a flickering heart—another flickering heart. Two hearts. Two babies. Twins!
“The moment.” Every mother of twins has it. It is the instant when you discover that you are pregnant with twins. You find yourself momentarily speechless. You feel shocked by the news, joyful that you are going to have twins, and fearful of the unknown. You will never forget this life-changing event.
If you have just recently learned that you are expecting twins, I want to be one of the first to welcome you to the world of multiples! You have every reason to be proud and to congratulate yourself. Every year, approximately one in sixty birthing mothers find themselves blessed with twins, and you will soon be one of them.
A wonderful journey lies ahead. Having twins means hard work during pregnancy and after. But the rewards outweigh the investment. You will experience not only double the work but also double the joy. Imagine twice the number of hugs and kisses, twice the smiles and laughter!
TWIN FACTS What’s in a Name?
The word twin comes from the Old English word getwinn, which means “twin,” “two by two,” or “double.”
You can look forward to twin memories that only parents of multiples have the opportunity to experience: the first time your twins smile at each other, the first time they talk to one another, the first time both babies plant you with a kiss. These precious moments await you.
When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I was so thrilled and excited, I couldn’t stop shaking for days. At the same time, part of me was shaking because I had no idea what future lay ahead. I’m writing this book to tell you that a wonderful journey awaits you. Congratulate yourself and celebrate!
#2: Remember You Are Not Alone
My hands quivered as I dialed the number to my husband’s office. Since we already had one child, I had discouraged my spouse from coming to the obstetrician with me, thinking this would be a routine visit. When he picked up the phone, I blurted out, “There are two!”
“Two of what?” he asked.
“Babies. There are two babies!”
TWIN FACTS Twins Go Hollywood
Consider yourself a star! Twins seem to be en vogue among celebrities these days. On November 28, 2004, actress Julia Roberts kicked off a new celebrity trend with the birth of boy-girl twins, Phinnaeus Walter and Hazel Patricia. Now check out this list of recent celebrity parents of twins:
• Joan Lunden (broadcaster) and Jeff Konigsberg; parents to boy-girl twins, Jack Andrew and Kimberly Elise, born March 1, 2005. This is Lunden’s second set of twins. Her first set, boy-girl twins Max and Kate, were born June 10, 2003.
• Melissa Etheridge (singer-songwriter) and Tammy Lynn Michaels (actress); parents to boy-girl twins, Miller Steven and Johnnie Rose, born October 17, 2006.
• Elvis Costello (singer-songwriter) and Diana Krall (singer); parents to twin boys, Dexter Henry Lorcan and Frank Harlan James, born December 6, 2006.
• Sean “P. Diddy” Combs (record producer, actor, rapper) and Kimberly Porter; parents to twin girls, D’Lila Star and Jessie James, born December 21, 2006.
• Patrick Dempsey (actor) and Jillian Fink Dempsey; parents to twin boys, Darby Galen and Sullivan Patrick, born February 1, 2007.
• Marcia Cross (actress) and Tom Mahoney; parents to twin girls, Eden and Savannah, born February 20, 2007.
• Mia Hamm (soccer player) and Nomar Garciaparra (baseball player); parents to twin girls, Grace Isabella and Ava Caroline, born March 28, 2007.
• Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon (actress) and Mike Nilon; parents to twin boys, Jax Joseph and Jaid Thomas, born October 18, 2007.
• Nancy Grace (talk show host) and David Linch; parents to boy-girl twins, John David and Lucy Elizabeth, born November 4, 2007.
• Dennis Quaid (actor) and Kimberly Quaid; parents to boy-girl twins, Thomas Boone and Zoe Grace, born November 8, 2007.
• Jennifer Lopez (actress, singer-songwriter) and Marc Anthony (singer); parents to boy-girl twins, Max and Emme, born February 22, 2008.
Dazed, he asked, “You mean we’re having twins?”
The image of the two hearts flashed before me. Two tiny bodies sharing one placenta. “Yes, twins,” I said trembling. “Identical twins.”
Twin shock—a commonly used term in the world of multiples to describe the body-numbing, speechless state of bewilderment that accompanies the news or reality of having twins. If you are like me, twin shock can hit the moment you find out you are pregnant with twins. For others, twin shock most powerfully strikes shortly after the birth of twins, when parents assume full care of two active newborn babies. Regardless of when twin shock hits, it’s a completely normal phase in parenting multiples.
TWIN FACTS Your Chances of Having Twins
So what are your chances of having twins?
• Three percent, or one out of every thirty-three births, for women under thirty-five years of age.
• About 6 percent, or one in eighteen births, for women over thirty-five years old.
• Twenty percent, or one in five births, for women forty-five to forty-nine years of age.
• For women ages fifty to fifty-four, one of every two births will be a multiple delivery. In other words, these women have a 50 percent chance of having twins, triplets, or more!
Most families at this stage are ecstatic about having twins. At the same time, they may have some questions about raising two babies at once. You may have fears or concerns about your pregnancy and potential complications. You may wonder how you are going to physically or financially care for twins.
You are not alone! In fact, you are among a rapidly growing population of parents. The number of twin births in the United States is at an all-time high. Twins now comprise one in thirty-one births, totaling more than 130,000 births a year. Nationally, the number of twin births has increased by 70 percent over the past two decades, and the number of triplets and higher has increased by an astounding 300 percent! What is more, this remarkable upward trend in multiple births is expected to continue.
One major reason for the increase in twin births is that women are having children later than they used to. Older women are more likely to have twins when they become pregnant because they naturally are prone to releasing more than one egg each month. Older women are also more likely to use fertility-enhancing treatments, the single most influential factor in increasing the twinning rate over the past two decades.
One of the most rewarding things about being a parent to twins is the camaraderie among twin families. I recommend that every parent of multiples seek out a few other families of multiples for friendship and support as soon as possible. Time with other twin parents allows you to share in the joy of parenting twins, gives you a sense of pride in your achievements, and offers you priceless advice when you most need it.
TWIN FACTS Got Yams?
Nigeria boasts the world’s highest spontaneous twinning rate, at about one in twenty-two births. The secret behind this high multiple birth rate may lie partly in yams, a staple of the rural Nigerian diet. Experts theorize that yams, which contain natural hormone-like substances, may increase the chances of a twin conception by stimulating a woman’s ovaries to release more than one egg at a time.
TWIN FACTS Oldest Twin Mother
The oldest woman to give birth to surviving twins is from Spain. In 2006, the unidentified Spanish mother gave birth to twins at sixty-seven years of age!
If you don’t know anyone with twins, contact your local mothers of multiples chapter or the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs. The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs has over twenty-five thousand members and over 450 local clubs. If there are no twin familie...