The Beautiful and Damned
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The Beautiful and Damned

F. Scott Fitzgerald

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eBook - ePub

The Beautiful and Damned

F. Scott Fitzgerald

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About This Book

One of the great American writers whose works enjoy popular appeal as well as critical acclaim, F. Scott Lyric, highly readable novel traces the meteoric rise and fall of glittering young socialites Anthony and Gloria Patch. Building their marriage on the shaky foundation of an expected inheritance, they devote their youth and happiness on hedonistic pursuits that plunge them into moral and financial bankruptcy. Transparently based on the lives of Fitzgerald and his beautiful wife, Zelda, the novel eerily foreshadows the real-life's couple's rapid descent into ruin.

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Year
2012
ISBN
9780486160085

BOOK TWO

CHAPTER I

The Radiant Hour

After a fortnight Anthony and Gloria began to indulge in ā€œpractical discussions,ā€ as they called those sessions when under the guise of severe realism they walked in an eternal moonlight.
ā€œNot as much as I do you,ā€ the critic of belles-lettres would insist. ā€œIf you really loved me youā€™d want every one to know it.ā€
ā€œI do,ā€ she protested; ā€œI want to stand on the street corner like a sandwich man, informing all the passers-by.ā€
ā€œThen tell me all the reasons why youā€™re going to marry me in June.ā€
ā€œWell, because youā€™re so clean. Youā€™re sort of blowy clean, like I am. Thereā€™s two sorts, you know. Oneā€™s like Dick: heā€™s clean like polished pans. You and I are clean like streams and winds. I can tell whenever I see a person whether he is clean, and if so, which kind of clean he is.ā€
ā€œWeā€™re twins.ā€
Ecstatic thought!
ā€œMother saysā€ā€”she hesitated uncertaintyā€”ā€œmother says that two souls are sometimes created together andā€”and in love before theyā€™re born.ā€
Bilphism gained its easiest convert. . . . After a while he lifted up his head and laughed soundlessly toward the ceiling. When his eyes came back to her he saw that she was angry.
ā€œWhy did you laugh?ā€ she cried, ā€œyouā€™ve done that twice before. Thereā€™s nothing funny about our relation to each other. I donā€™t mind playing the fool, and I donā€™t mind having you do it, but I canā€™t stand it when weā€™re together.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€
ā€œOh, donā€™t say youā€™re sorry! If you canā€™t think of anything better than that, just keep quiet!ā€
ā€œI love you.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t care.ā€
There was a pause. Anthony was depressed. . . . At length Gloria murmured:
ā€œIā€™m sorry I was mean.ā€
ā€œYou werenā€™t. I was the one.ā€
Peace was restoredā€”the ensuing moments were so much more sweet and sharp and poignant. They were stars on this stage, each playing to an audience of two: the passion of their pretense created the actuality. Here, finally, was the quintessence of self-expressionā€”yet it was probable that for the most part their love expressed Gloria rather than Anthony. He felt often like a scarcely tolerated guest at a party she was giving.
Telling Mrs. Gilbert had been an embarrassed matter. She sat stuffed into a small chair and listened with an intense and very blinky sort of concentration. She must have known itā€”for three weeks Gloria had seen no one elseā€”and she must have noticed that this time there was an authentic difference in her daughterā€™s attitude. She had been given special deliveries to post; she had heeded, as all mothers seem to heed, the hither end of telephone conversations, disguised but still rather warmā€”ā€”
ā€”Yet she had delicately professed surprise and declared herself immensely pleased; she doubtless was; so were the geranium plants blossoming in the window-boxes, and so were the cabbies when the lovers sought the romantic privacy of hansom cabsā€”quaint deviceā€”and the staid bill of fares on which they scribbled ā€œyou know I do,ā€ pushing it over for the other to see.
But between kisses Anthony and this golden girl quarrelled incessantly.
ā€œNow, Gloria,ā€ he would cry, ā€œplease let me explain!ā€
ā€œDonā€™t explain. Kiss me.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t think thatā€™s right. If I hurt your feelings we ought to discuss it. I donā€™t like this kiss-and-forget.ā€
ā€œBut I donā€™t want to argue. I think itā€™s wonderful that we can kiss and forget, and when we canā€™t itā€™ll be time to argue.ā€
At one time some gossamer difference attained such bulk that Anthony arose and punched himself into his overcoatā€”for a moment it appeared that the scene of the preceding February was to be repeated, but knowing how deeply she was moved he retained his dignity with his pride, and in a moment Gloria was sobbing in his arms, her lovely face miserable as a frightened little girlā€™s.
Meanwhile they kept unfolding to each other, unwillingly, by curious reactions and evasions; by distastes and prejudices and unintended hints of the past. The girl was proudly incapable of jealousy and, because he was extremely jealous, this virtue piqued him. He told her recondite incidents of his own life on purpose to arouse some spark of it, but to no avail. She possessed him nowā€”nor did she desire the dead years.
ā€œOh, Anthony,ā€ she would say, ā€œalways when Iā€™m mean to you Iā€™m sorry afterward. Iā€™d give my right hand to save you one little momentā€™s pain.ā€
And in that instant her eyes were brimming and she was not aware that she was voicing an illusion. Yet Anthony knew that there were days when they hurt each other purposelyā€”taking almost a delight in the thrust. Incessantly she puzzled him: one hour so intimate and charming, striving desperately toward an unguessed, transcendent union; the next, silent and cold, apparently unmoved by any consideration of their love or anything he could say. Often he would eventually trace these portentous reticences to some physical discomfortā€”of these she never complained until they were overā€”or to some carelessness or presumption in him, or to an unsatisfactory dish at dinner, but even then the means by which she created the infinite distances she spread about herself were a mystery, buried somewhere back in those twenty-two years of unwavering pride.

ā€œWhy do you like Muriel?ā€ he demanded one day.
ā€œI donā€™tā€”very much.ā€
ā€œThen why do you go with her?ā€
ā€œJust for some one to go with. Theyā€™re no exertion, those girls. They sort of believe everything I tell ā€™emā€”but I rather like Rachael. I think sheā€™s cuteā€”and so clean and slick, donā€™t you? I used to have other friendsā€”in Kansas City and at schoolā€”casual, all of them, girls who just flitted into my range and out of it for no more reason than that boys took us places together. They didnā€™t interest me after environment stopped throwing us together. Now theyā€™re mostly married. What does it matterā€”they were all just people.ā€
ā€œYou like men better, donā€™t you?ā€
ā€œOh, much better, Iā€™ve got a manā€™s mind.ā€
ā€œYouā€™ve got a mind like mine. Not strongly gendered either way.ā€
Later she told him about the beginnings of her friendship with Bloeckman. One day in Delmonicoā€™s, Gloria and Rachael had come upon Bloeckman and Mr. Gilbert having luncheon and curiosity had impelled her to make it a party of four. She had liked himā€”rather. He was a relief from younger men, satisfied as he was with so little. He humored her and he laughed, whether he understood her or not. She met him several times, despite the open disapproval of her parents, and within a month he had asked her to marry him, tendering her everything from a villa in Italy to a brilliant career on the screen. She had laughed in his faceā€”and he had laughed too.
But he had not given up. To the time of Anthonyā€™s arrival in the arena he had been making steady progress. She treated him rather wellā€”except that she had called him always by an invidious nicknameā€”perceiving, meanwhile, that he was figuratively following along beside her as she walked the fence, ready to catch her if she should fall.
The night before the engagement was announced she told Bloeckman. It was a heavy blow. She did not enlighten Anthony as to the details, but she implied that he had not hesitated to argue with her. Anthony gathered that the interview had terminated on a stormy note, with Gloria very cool and unmoved lying in her corner of the sofa and Joseph Bloeckman of ā€œFilms Par Excellenceā€ pacing the carpet with eyes narrowed and head bowed. Gloria had been sorry for him but she had judged it best not to show it. In a final burst of kindness she had tried to make him hate her, there at the last. But Anthony, understanding that Gloriaā€™s indifference was her strongest appeal, judged how futile this must have been. He wondered, often but quite casually, about Bloeckmanā€”finally he forgot him entirely.

HEYDAY

One afternoon they found front seats on the sunny roof of a bus and rode for hours from the fading Square up along the sullied river, and then, as the stray beams fled the westward streets, sailed down the turgid Avenue, darkening with ominous bees from the department stores. The traffic was clotted and gripped in a patternless jam; the busses were packed four deep like platforms above the crowd as they waited for the moan of the traffic whistle.
ā€œIsnā€™t it good!ā€ cried Gloria. ā€œLook!ā€
A millerā€™s wagon, stark white with flour, driven by a powdery clown, passed in front of them behind a white horse and his black team-mate.
ā€œWhat a pity!ā€ she complained; ā€œtheyā€™d look so beautiful in the dusk, if only both horses were white. Iā€™m mighty happy just this minute, in this city.ā€
Anthony shook his head in disagreement.
ā€œI think the cityā€™s a mountebank. Always struggling to approach the tremendous and impressive urbanity ascribed to it. Trying to be romantically metropolitan.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t. I think it is impressive.ā€
ā€œMomentarily. But itā€™s really a transparent, artificial sort of spectacle. Itā€™s got its press-agented stars and its flimsy, unenduring stage settings and, Iā€™ll admit, the greatest army of supers ever assembledā€”ā€ He paused, laughed shortly, and added: ā€œTechnically excellent, perhaps, but not convincing.ā€
ā€œIā€™ll bet policemen think people are fools,ā€ said Gloria thoughtfully, as she watched a large but cowardly lady being helped across the street. ā€œHe always sees them frightened and inefficient and oldā€”they are,ā€ she added. And then: ā€œWeā€™d better get off. I told mother Iā€™d have an early supper and go to bed. She says I look tired, damn it.ā€
ā€œI wish we were married,ā€ he muttered soberly; ā€œthereā€™ll be no good night then and we can do just as we want.ā€
ā€œWonā€™t it be good! I think we ought to travel a lot. I want to go to the Mediterranean and Italy. And Iā€™d like to go on the stage some timeā€”say for about a year.ā€
ā€œYou bet. Iā€™ll write a play for you.ā€
ā€œWonā€™t that be good! And Iā€™ll act in it. And then some time when we have more moneyā€ā€”old Adamā€™s death was always thus tactfully alluded toā€”ā€œweā€™ll build a magnificent estate, wonā€™t we?ā€
ā€œOh, yes, with private swimming pools.ā€
ā€œDozens of them. And private rivers. Oh, I wish it were now.ā€
Odd coincidenceā€”he had just been wishing that very thing. They plunged like divers into the dark eddying crowd and emerging in the cool fifties sauntered indolently homeward, infinitely romantic to each other. . . both were walking alone in a dispassionate garden with a ghost found in a dream.
Halcyon days like boats drifting along slow-moving rivers; spring evenings full of a plaintive melancholy that made the past beautiful and bitter, bidding them look back and see that the loves of other summers long gone were dead with the forgotten waltzes of their years. Always the most poignant moments were when some artificial barrier kept them apart: in the theater their hands would steal together, join, give and return gentle pressures through the long dark; in crowded rooms they would form words with their lips for each otherā€™s eyesā€”not knowing that they were but following in the footsteps of dusty generations but comprehending dimly that if truth is the end of life happiness is a mode of it, to be cherished in its brief and tremulous moment. And then, one fairy night, May became June. Sixteen days nowā€”fifteenā€”fourteenā€”ā€”

THREE DIGRESSIONS

Just before the engagement was announced Anthony had gone up to Tarrytown to see his grandfather, who, a little more wizened and grizzly as time played its ultimate chuckling tricks, greeted the news with profound cynicism.
ā€œOh, youā€™re going to get married, are you?ā€ He said this with such a dubious mildness and shook his head up and down so many times that Anthony was not a little depressed. While he was unaware of his grandfatherā€™s intentions he presumed that a large part of the money would come to him. A good deal would go in charities, of course; a good deal to carry on the business of reform.
ā€œAre you going to work?ā€
ā€œWhyā€”ā€ temporized Anthony, somewhat disconcerted. ā€œI am working. You knowā€”ā€”ā€
ā€œAh, I mean work,ā€ said Adam Patch dispassionately.
ā€œIā€™m not quite sure yet what Iā€™ll do. Iā€™m not exactly a beggar, grampa,ā€ he asserted with some spirit.
The old man considered this with eyes half closed. Then almost apologetically he asked:
ā€œHow much do you save a year?ā€
ā€œNothing so farā€”ā€”ā€
ā€œAnd so after just managing to get along on your money youā€™ve decided that by some miracle two of you can get along on it.ā€
ā€œGloria has some money of her own. Enough to buy clothes.ā€
ā€œHow much?ā€
Without considering this question impertinent, Anthony answered it.
ā€œAbout a hundred a month.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s altogether about seventy-five hundred a year.ā€ Then he added softly: ā€œIt ought to be plenty. If you have any sense it ought to be plenty. But the question is whether you have any or not.ā€
ā€œI suppose it is.ā€ It was shameful. to be compelled to endure this pious browbeating from the old man, and his next words were stiffened with vanity. ā€œI can manage very well. You seem convinced that Iā€™m utterly worthless. At any rate I came up here simply to tell you that Iā€™m getting married in June. Good-by, sir.ā€ With this he turned away and headed for the door, unaware that in that instant his grandfather, for the first time, rather liked him.
ā€œWait!ā€ called Adam Patch, ā€œI want to talk to you.ā€
Anthony faced about.
ā€œWell, sir?ā€
ā€œSit down. Stay all night.ā€
Somewhat mollified, Anthony resumed his seat.
ā€œIā€™m sorry, sir, but Iā€™m going to see Gloria to-night.ā€
ā€œWhatā€™s her name?ā€
ā€œGloria Gilbert.ā€
ā€œNew York girl? Some one you know?ā€
ā€œSheā€™s from the Middle West.ā€
ā€œWhat business her father in?ā€
ā€œIn a celluloid corporation or trust or something. Theyā€™re from Kansas City.ā€
ā€œYou going to be married out there?ā€
ā€œWhy, no, sir. We thought weā€™d be married in New Yorkā€”rather quietly.ā€
ā€œLike to have the wedding out here?ā€
Anthony hesitated. The sug...

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