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Learning to Be Deaf
When we began work on this book, we had collected a store of reminiscences from Deaf adults about their childhoods; many told how as young children they discovered that they could not hear sound or speech. For example, in a story that appears in a videotaped version of a stage production by the National Theatre of the Deaf, Dorothy Miles recalls how, after a long childhood illness, she discovers that she can no longer hear her own voice. These are the expected anecdotes, those which confirm the popular wisdom about deafnessâthat it is the experience of not hearing. But we also came across stories that, although they were about discovering deafness, seemed only remotely connected to the fact of loss of hearing. One such example came from an interview Carol conducted with two sisters, one five and the other seven years old, as part of a study on language learning in the home. Both girls are Deaf, as are their parents. After an afternoon of tests and conversation, the younger girl, Vicki, brought a toy for Carol to inspect:
Vicki: My friend Michael gave it to me.
Helen: Michaelâs her boyfriend, (giggles)
Vicki: Michael is not! Anyway Michael is Deaf.
Helen: No! Michael is hearing!
Vicki: (confused, but not convinced) Michael is Deaf!
Helen: Youâre wrong! I know! Michael is hearing.
Carol: Well, which is he? Deaf or hearing?
Vicki: (pauses) I donât know.
Carol: What do you think?
Vicki: Both! Michael is Deaf and hearing!
The solution was immensely satisfying to Vicki, but her older sister was aghast. No one is ever both Deaf and hearing at the same time. One is either Deaf or hearing. But Vicki had become attached to her explanation. After repeatedly telling Vicki that her solution would not work, Helen threw up her hands in exasperation and complained to their parents. The adults, of course, found the girlsâ argument yet another amusing example of the marvelously inventive logic of children.
Let us look closer at the conversation. Vicki believes that her friend Michael is Deaf. And she evidently considers this fact a notable one, since she mentions it when she presents her toy to Carol. She has learned that, in the world of her parents and their friends, when one wishes to say something of note about someone, terms like âDeafâ and âhearingâ are obligatory. Even at age five, she knows that in conversations about people one needs to refer to the personâs status. This conversation would have continued unremarkably except for the fact that Vicki was wrong about Michael.
What apparently has impressed Vicki about Michael is that he uses signs. To her, hearing people do not use signed language and therefore lack ways to make themselves understood. To her, Michaelâs ability to converse with her in her language is sufficient evidence that he is Deaf. But the older child knows better: there are characteristics other than signing that determine whether someone is really Deaf.
Children are astute observers of the worldâthey are often âwrongâ for the most interesting reasons and ârightâ for reasons we never expect. This quality makes them revealing theorists. As we see in Vickiâs case, a childâs insight can be useful for bringing out hidden definitions for a supposedly straightforward word like âdeaf.â
When Vicki reaches her older sisterâs age, she will be able to identify other elusive but important properties from which one can deduce whether a person is Deaf. At age seven, Helen can detect subtle differences in movement contours between native or very fluent signers and those who have learned the language relatively recently; she knows that inexperienced signers often distort circular movements or add wrong movements to signs. She also watches how the person mouths while signing; skilled signers mouth along with signs in characteristic ways, and unskilled signers mouth in yet another recognizable style. And she is better able than Vicki to decipher the meanings of signs; a wrong choice of sign in a sentence might tip her off to the signerâs true status. Hearing children of Deaf parents sometimes confuse her if they sign as well as their parents, but this is a mistake even her own parents might make. And Helen has also learned that another of Michaelâs characteristics is his ability to hear.
One might expect that characteristics other than signing would be important in distinguishing Deaf from hearing persons: the ability or the inability to speak, or even the ability or inability to hear sound. But these seem irrelevant to Vicki. There may be an easy explanation for this: Deaf children cannot hear, thus perhaps they do not appreciate the ability of others to perceive sound.
We think this explanation is too simple. We do not believe that Vickiâs conception of the world simply lacks an âauditoryâ sense and that her view of the world is consequently limited to what remains. Instead, we believe her âerrorâ is typical of young children her age who are forming hypotheses about how the world works. Vickiâs error is an attempt to formulate an analysis of the world within the set of assumptions and ideas to which she has been exposed. The assumptions and ideas in this case involve her familyâs ways of determining the status of visitors, such as whether Michael is Deaf or hearing. A hearing child would have an equally restricted range of possible guesses about the world, based on the beliefs shared by the family. For example, white middle-class children understand that black people have some distinctive physical characteristic, but they are sometimes confused about who is to be called âblackâ; we know one young child who refers to all dark-haired men as black.
Sam Supalla once described to us his childhood friendship with a hearing girl who lived next door (this account also appears in Perlmutter 1986). As Samâs story went, he had never lacked for playmates; he was born into a Deaf family with several Deaf older brothers. As his interests turned to the world outside his family, he noticed a girl next door who seemed to be about his age. After a few tentative encounters, they became friends. She was a satisfactory playmate, but there was the problem of her âstrangeness.â He could not talk with her as he could with his older brothers and his parents. She seemed to have extreme difficulty understanding even the simplest or crudest gestures. After a few futile attempts to converse, he gave up and instead pointed when he wanted something, or simply dragged her along with him if he wanted to go somewhere. He wondered what strange affliction his friend had, but since they had developed a way to interact with each other, he was content to accommodate to her peculiar needs.
One day, Sam remembers vividly, he finally understood that his friend was indeed odd. They were playing in her home, when suddenly her mother walked up to them and animatedly began to move her mouth. As if by magic, the girl picked up a dollhouse and moved it to another place. Sam was mystified and went home to ask his mother about exactly what kind of affliction the girl next door had. His mother explained that she was HEARING and because of this did not know how to SIGN; instead she and her mother TALK, they move their mouths to communicate with each other. Sam then asked if this girl and her family were the only ones âlike that.â His mother explained that no, in fact, nearly everyone else was like the neighbors. It was his own family that was unusual. It was a memorable moment for Sam. He remembers thinking how curious the girl next door was, and if she was HEARING, how curious HEARING people were.
When Sam discovers that the girl next door is hearing, he learns something about âothers.â Those who live around him and his family are now to be called âhearing.â The world is larger than he previously thought, but his view of himself is intact. He has learned that there are âothersâ living in his neighborhood, but he has not yet learned that others have different ways of thinking. Perhaps others are now more prominent in his world, and his thoughts about the world now have to acknowledge that they exist in some relation to himself, but it does not occur to him that these others might define him and his family by some characteristic they lack.
In fact, in almost all the stories of childhood we have heard from Deaf children of Deaf families, hearing people were âcuriousâ and âstrangeâ but mostly were part of the background. The childrenâs world was large enough with family and friends that the existence of âothersâ was not disruptive. At the age when children begin to reflect on the world, we see an interesting positioning of the self with respect to âothers,â people like Samâs playmate and her mother. Sam has not yet understood that the outside world considers him and his family to have an âafflictionâ; to him, immersed in the world of his family, it is the neighbors who lack the ability to communicate.
But before long, the world of others inevitably intrudes. We can see children learning about the minds of others in stories Deaf adults tell about their childhoods. A Deaf friend of ours, Howard, a prominent member of his community, made a revealing comment to a mixed audience of hearing and Deaf people. All members of his familyâhis parents and brother as well as aunts and unclesâare Deaf. He told the audience that he had spent his early childhood among Deaf people but that when he was six his world changed: his parents took him to a school for Deaf children. âWould you believe,â he said, pausing expertly for effect, âI never knew I was deaf until I first entered school?â
Howardâs comment caused the intended stir in the audience, but it was clear to us that some people thought it meant that Howard first became aware of his audiological deficiency when he was sixâthat he had never realized before that he could not hear sounds. But this was not his meaning at all.
Howard certainly knew what âdeafâ meant. The sign DEAF was part of his everyday vocabulary; he would refer to DEAF people whenever he needed to talk about family and friends, in much the same way as Vicki mentioned that Michael was DEAF. When Howard arrived at school, he found that teachers used the same sign he used for himself at home, DEAF. But it did not take him long to detect a subtle difference in the ways they used the sign.
The child uses DEAF to mean âus,â but he meets others for whom âdeafâ means âthem, not like us.â He thinks DEAF means âfriends who behave as expected,â but to others it means âa remarkable condition.â At home he has taken signing for granted as an activity hardly worth noticing, but he will learn at school that it is something to be talked about and commented on. Depending on what school a child attends, he may be forbidden to use signed language in the presence of his teachers. He will then have to learn how to carry out familiar activities within new boundaries, to learn new social contexts for his language. Skills he learned at home, such as to tell stories with detail about people and events, are not likely to be rewarded by teachers who do not know the language. His language will be subordinated to other activities considered more important, notably learning how to âuse his hearing,â and to âspeakâ (Erting 1985b).
The metaphor of affliction, as it is used to describe deaf children, represents a displacement from the expected, that is, from the hearing child. Howard and Sam were used to a certain mode of exchange at home, certain ways in which Deaf friends and family acknowledge each other. But the alien organization of the school, from its hierarchical structure and its employment of hearing people to its insistence on speech, makes plain to the child that an entirely different set of assumptions is in force. Even the familiarâadults in his school whom he recognizes as DEAFâdo not and cannot behave in the same ways they do in his community; their roles must change in the face of the demands of an institution that largely belongs to others (Erting 1985a).
The child âdiscoversâ deafness. Now deafness becomes a prominent fact in his life, a term around which peopleâs behavior changes. People around him have debates about deafness, and lines are sharply drawn between people depending on what position they take on the subject. He has never thought about himself as having a certain quality, but now it becomes something to discuss. Even his language has ceased to be just a means of interacting with others and has become an object: people are either âagainstâ signed language or âforâ signed language. In the stories we have collected from Deaf children of Deaf parents, the same pattern emerges over and over: âdeafnessâ is âdiscoveredâ late and in the context of these layers of meaning.
It is not surprising that the school is often the setting for this kind of discovery. School is not the only place where Deaf children meet others, of course, but the realization that others have different ways of thinking, and that these ways of thinking are influential in the school, is forced upon them when they arrive.
Bernard Bragg, in a personal story about his Deaf mother, represents in spatial terms the vast distance between the home and the world of others. We have translated this story from a videotaped record of the National Theatre of the Deafâs original production My Third Eye (1973):
I asked again where we were going but she gave no reply. For the first time I began to feel a sense of fear and foreboding. I stole glances at her face, but it was immobile and her eyes were fixed on an unseen place somewhere ahead. We rode for a long time, and then we stopped and found ourselves in front of an enormous building ⌠We walked into the building, and once inside I was immediately struck by a medicinal, institutional smell. This did not look like a hospital, or like any other building I had seen before. My mother bent down, turned me toward her, and said: âThis is where you will get all your education. You will live here for a while. Donât worry, I will see you again later.â Then she couldnât seem to say any more, she hugged me quickly, gave me a kiss, and then, inexplicably, left.1
The spotlight dims and Bragg disappears in the darkness. The audience feels a brief but powerful sense of loss. For generations of Deaf people who have left home for school, this story evokes intense images of encountering more than just an unknown place. Bragg chooses powerful triggers: his motherâs unusual inarticulateness, the looming size of the school building, the cavernous halls, and the sharpest image of all, the unfamiliar, faintly threatening institutional smell. The smell wraps around him, frightening him, and when he reaches for his mother she is gone. Her parting words, about education and school, are hardly comforting.
We have been discussing Deaf children of Deaf families, but deaf children in hearing families face an equally unusual and complementary dilemma. Compare Howardâs and Samâs stories with that of Tony, a child of a hearing family who learns that, as a result of medical treatment of childhood diseases, he has become deaf at age six.
I donât remember any one moment when I thought to myself, âI canât hear.â Rather it was slowly assimilating a combination of different things. I had been ill for a long time. I remember the repeated visits to the doctor, until finally somehow I sensed a permanence to what had been happening to me. I remember my parents worrying about me, and at some point everyone seemed concerned about my illness. It was at that point I felt changed, and when I thought about how I was changed, my thought was: âIâm the only one like this.â
When this child referred to himself as âdeaf,â he meant an intensely individual and personal condition. The illness had affected him and no one else in his family. There were no others like himself:
I had a second cousin who was deaf but I...