Be the Hero
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Be the Hero

Three Powerful Ways to Overcome Challenges in Work and Life

Noah Blumenthal

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eBook - ePub

Be the Hero

Three Powerful Ways to Overcome Challenges in Work and Life

Noah Blumenthal

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About This Book

An executive coach shares essential advice on how to succeed by being your best self—even at your worst moments. Everyone faces frustration and stress, but we don't have to let these challenging moments take control of us. In Be the Hero, executive coach Noah Blumenthal introduces us to the way of the "Everyday Hero" and shows how to turn self-defeating thoughts and behaviors into heroic actions. All day long, without even realizing it, we tell ourselves dozens of stories about other people, our situations, and ourselves. These stories shape our emotions and behavior, making us think and act like either a hero or a victim. Be the Hero shows you how to choose the stories that lead to personal and professional success. In the tradition of the best storytellers, Blumenthal weaves a tale of a young professional's journey from victim to hero, one that is both captivating and profound. The powerful resources at the end of the book, including a hero tip of the week, smart cards, manager tip sheets, and more, will help you make your hero stories stick

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Information

Publisher
Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Year
2012
ISBN
9781576753422
Topic
Personal Development
Subtopic
Personal Success
Parable

Challenges of Work and Life

The Funk

Jeff was in a rut.
The day started off with a familiar pattern. His alarm rang and he hit the snooze button. He used to wake up on the first ring. Today it took him four snoozes.
“Why is this happening to me?” This wasn’t the first time he had asked himself the question. It had become a common lament, usually followed by, “When is my life going to get better?”
Jeff’s company had recently adopted the acronym B-HAG, which stood for Big Hairy Audacious Goal. B-HAGs were supposed to energize people and encourage them to strive for greater things. Jeff had adjusted the term slightly. By the time he cut himself shaving and spilled his coffee, Jeff had declared the day a B-HAD. For him B-HAD stood for Big Hairy Atrocious Day, and lately he felt almost every day was a B-HAD.
Jeff had never experienced a funk like this in his life, and it was quite possible things were about to get worse. Today he had to hand in his year-end performance appraisal to Yvette, his boss.
Jeff wasn’t certain how Yvette would rate him, but he was willing to bet she would not have good news. She had been on his case constantly lately. He knew he had to be on his best behavior, but all he wanted to do was tell her to shove this job. Each day he felt like he was about to lose his cool completely and do more than a few things he would certainly regret.
Everything in his life was going south. His relationship with Yvette had been deteriorating for months. His nine-month-old daughter, Siena, had colic, which he was convinced was a medical term that meant the doctors had given up trying to figure out why she cried twenty-four hours a day. The lack of sleep and the baby’s continuous crying put a major strain on his relationship with Marie, his wife.
In the past when he got frustrated he used to play basketball or go for a bike ride or a long walk. These days he always had reasons to stay late at work, and if he actually did get home at a reasonable time, he had to help out with Siena. Forget about taking time or doing anything for himself. Those days were long gone, and his stress was mounting.
Given that he had to hand in his performance appraisal, Jeff was anticipating the worst from this day. Just a few hours later it would shock him to discover he felt happier than he could remember feeling in months.

The Good Life

Life hadn’t always been so challenging. Everything used to fall into place for Jeff. In fact, even now most of Jeff’s friends and colleagues thought he was successful and fortunate. There were no speed bumps, tragedies, or meltdowns. Jeff’s best friend, Art, had nicknamed him Smooth because everything in his life seemed to flow.
Art’s life was anything but smooth. His parents divorced when he was ten, and while Art was in college his father died from cancer. Every time Art dated a new woman he seemed to go through a cycle of euphoria, disappointment, and boredom. Art had sold furniture, paper, pharmaceuticals, and financial services. He seemed to need to find a new job each time he bought a new pair of shoes. When the shoes wore out, the job had to go.
Jeff’s life looked nothing like that. He had an intelligent, beautiful wife with a great sense of humor. Most of his friends had joked that he definitely married up. Jeff agreed. He was one of the youngest people in his company to get promoted to a management position. He had a daughter who, aside from crying all the time, was healthy. So why didn’t things feel great on the inside?
Jeff used to think of himself as lucky. It wasn’t that he got everything he wanted, but starting early in his life, things seemed to work out well for him.
When he tried out for his high school basketball team, he wasn’t the star player, but he made the team and performed well. When his friends were stressing out over getting into college, he was accepted early to the college of his choice. He had always been viewed as a leader and was well liked by other students and by the parents, teachers, and professors he had come to know in his youth.
Then he graduated from college and got a job, but before he started his new job, Jeff and Art headed to Europe for three weeks of fun. With a travel guide that promised they would see Europe for under $50 per day, they left in search of unforget-table experiences.
They went to the running of the bulls in Pamplona and the opera in Prague. They dined on escargot in Paris and wurst in Berlin. They saw the Roman Coliseum and the Palace of Versailles. They traveled through seven countries in three weeks, but one experience always stood out for Jeff.

The Guru

Toward the end of their trip, Jeff and Art landed in the small Swiss town of Interlaken, which is surrounded by some of the most beautiful mountain peaks a traveler can find.
When they arrived at the youth hostel, they dumped their backpacks in their room and headed to the common area where travelers gathered to share food, drinks, and stories.
Jeff looked around and saw the usual mix of happy, bedraggled youths, but his eye was caught by a bulletin board covered with pictures on one of the walls. Most of the pictures were of people standing on top of a mountain smiling, but something else made their expressions noteworthy — something in their eyes, some kind of knowing look.
“What do you see?”
The question took Jeff by surprise. He turned around to discover that an old man with a long beard had asked the question. Beyond the old man, Jeff was not surprised to see Art sitting at a table with two women, talking animatedly and pointing in Jeff’s direction.
Jeff turned back to the man and said, “They seem happy.”
He was about to leave and catch up with Art, but before he moved the old man asked him, “Is that all you see? The people in the pictures seem happy?”
Jeff thought momentarily about whether or not to share his observations with this stranger, but then he figured why not? Interesting conversations were kind of the point of these places.
“At first that was what I noticed, but if you look closer, it isn’t just happiness. They all seem like they know a secret. That probably sounds dumb. I mean, how can a smile tell you someone knows a secret?”
“No, it’s not dumb, but I agree their smiles don’t tell you that. It’s in their eyes.”
Jeff felt a surge of excitement hearing his own thoughts spoken by the man. “That’s right! It is in their eyes. They look like they’re seeing more than just the camera.”
“In a way they are. They’re looking at the world in a brand new way.” The old man gestured to an empty table and sat down. Without thinking, Jeff sat down with him.
“Kids come here all the time looking to do some sightseeing and meet other travelers. They leave here with a few memories, but some leave here with more.”
Jeff thought the man was being a little melodramatic, but he was intrigued all the same and asked him what he meant.
“The mountains are the reason people visit Interlaken. Everyone sees beautiful views. However, some see something far more precious.”
For the first time Jeff looked deep into the man’s eyes. He could see then that this man had the same look as the people in the photos. He knew the secret.
The old man continued, “When you are surrounded by the kind of beauty you will see on these mountains, it can be overwhelming. It can make macho guys like you want to cry it is so beautiful. Most people rebel against those feelings. They don’t want to let themselves be exposed to such powerful forces. They are afraid of what they will feel or see or know. So they don’t let themselves slow down and deeply experience the moment. They take out their cameras, snap a few photos, and then head back down the mountain as quickly as they can. They may have seen the beauty around them, but they didn’t absorb it in a way that would change them forever.”
At this point Jeff started to feel a little uneasy. Part of him believed what the man was saying and was afraid he would be one of the ones who would rush past the experience. Part of him doubted this man and was afraid he was being made a fool by listening to this story. When he looked at the man’s eyes, though, that part disappeared. He could see the knowledge in this man’s eyes, and he wanted to know what the hikers in the photos knew.
“What about the ones who aren’t afraid of the experience,” asked Jeff. “What happens to them?”
“Well,” said the man, “most of them are afraid, too, but they don’t let that stop them. They stand there on the mountain and they drink it in. They look at the scenery, but they also look at themselves. They feel the weight of these enormous mountains and the awesome power that created such marvels. These hikers who drink up the experience feel their own frailty and the mistakes of their past. They also feel their own strength, their triumphs. Then something shifts in their perspective. They see themselves and the world in a whole new way, a way that changes everything.”
Jeff furrowed his brow in confusion. “How do they do that?”
Before the old man could answer, Jeff felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Art looking down at him with a big grin on his face.
“We’re all set for tomorrow. I have the day planned out, and we’ve got company, too.”
Usually Jeff would have been eager for whatever Art had planned, but right now he wanted to have the experience the old man had described. He wanted to know what he meant about a perspective that changed everything. He turned back to ask the old man to explain, but he was gone — heading toward a door at the back of the common room.
Jeff thought momentarily about chasing after him, but the old man had said what he had to say and moved on. Jeff turned back to Art, frustrated but resigned that he might not learn the secret of the mountaintop.
“OK, what’s the plan?” “
Well, the women I met got a hiking map and recommendations from the Guru and said we should all go together in their car.”
Jeff gave him a confused look. “Who’s the Guru?”
Now Art looked confused. “He’s the guy you’ve been sitting here talking to for the last twenty minutes. He runs this place. They said everyone calls him the Guru.”
At that moment Jeff realized he had never asked the man’s name. He didn’t know anything about him, but he suddenly felt very excited to see what he would discover on his hike tomorrow.

The Hike

Jeff and Art left early the next morning with their new friends, Suzanne and Alexa, and as predicted, the scenery was spectacular. The pine forests were rugged. The peaks above showed jagged rocks and snowcaps. Jeff found himself wondering if it could get any better higher up on the mountain. He would soon discover it could.
They found the trailhead the Guru had recommended and began their hike. Before they reached any of the great views from the top of the trail, they had a lot of climbing to do. Art happily sparked up conversations along the way.
Art relived old memories of high school with Jeff. They talked about what was waiting for them when they returned from their trip, a job for Jeff, uncertainty for Art, who had yet to find a job. Jeff went along with the conversation, though he was pretty sure this wasn’t what the Guru had in mind when he talked about finding a new perspective.
So Jeff was happy when Art moved on to start a conversation with Alexa, and Suzanne naturally fell in step with him. Suzanne seemed to be soaking up the atmosphere, and Jeff was content to remain silent as they hiked farther up the mountain.
Now and then they stopped when the terrain broke up to allow them a broader view of the surrounding mountains. Each time they stopped, Jeff felt a greater sense of awe about their surroundings. When he thought he might be nearing the experience the Guru had described, he wanted to confirm it.
He turned to Suzanne and said, “So you and Alexa spoke to the Guru, too?”
Alexa and Art were about fifty yards up the trail. The faint sound of giggling drifted down from where they walked.
“No,” Suzanne replied. “Alexa wasn’t there. I spoke to the Guru alone.”
Jeff wondered if her experience with the Guru was similar to his. He asked, “What did you talk about with him?”
Suzanne gazed off at the terrain and said, “It was kind of a weird conversation — hard to explain.”
Jeff had to know if her conversation was like his. “Was it about this hike and the way you see the world?”
Suzanne looked a little surprised, then she smiled. “Yes, it was.”
“Mine, too,” Jeff said.
They both gazed into the distance, feeling a sense of peace and kinship with one another before they returned to silently climbing.
It took about four hours to reach the top of the trail: a clearing above the tree line in a spot where the mountain seemed to fade out of the way to allow unobstructed views in almost every direction.
Jeff wanted to absorb the whole scene, but it was too much. He couldn’t look in every direction at once, and every time he turned his head he felt as if he were seeing something even more spectacular. Now Jeff understood what the Guru meant — just looking at the scenery could be overwhelming.
Having started early, they arrived at the top with plenty of time to eat and soak up the views. As they rested and stretched their muscles, Jeff noticed Art and Alexa were carrying on a continuous conversation. They weren’t spending much time looking around.
He remembered what the Guru said: some people want to get off the mountain to escape the gravity of the experience. Art and Alexa appeared to be running away without running off the mountain. Their conversation seemed like their way to avoid the deep feelings created by this place.
When he looked at Suzanne, he saw something quite different, and he could tell she didn’t want to talk. She just sat quietly, gazing into the distance. Now and then she would shift her view. She looked peaceful. Jeff thought he and Suzanne were clearly having a deeper experience than Art and Alexa.
Looking at the scenery, Jeff thought about his past and his future. He thought about his mistakes and his successes and about what the secret might be that he was supposed to discover on this mountain. What kept coming to mind was that climbing this mountain was a triumphant experience. He wanted to hold onto that.
So he made a decision about how he would view the world. He decided he would hold onto the feeling he had of being on top of the world. He would live like he was always on top of the mountain.
Upon coming to this conclusion, Jeff stood up to stretch his legs. As he walked around, his feet practically bounced off the mountainside, feeling lighter than air. A grin spread across Jeff’s face as he imagined a phenomenal life unfolding before him.
Then the others stood up, took lots of pictures, and they all hiked down the mountain. Jeff thought this day would be memorable because he changed the way he viewed the world. He was wrong.
Three days after Jeff and Art retu...

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