PART ONE
Scene One
The inside of a round fortification tower built of granite.
In the background, double doors of glass set in a large gateway, through which can be seen a fortified seashore and the sea.
A window.
A writing table, upon it a telegraph machine.
Two dilapidated armchairs, a chaise longue, a small chair against a wall.
A large portrait of ALICE in stage costume on the wall. Also a large mercury barometer.
ALICE. Shall I keep the door open?
CAPTAIN. Up to you.
ALICE. Open, then. (A pause.) Youāre not smoking.
CAPTAIN. I donāt know, lately strong tobaccoās got to my stomach.
ALICE. Smoke something weaker. You say itās your only pleasure.
CAPTAIN. āPleasureā? What does that word mean?
ALICE. Iāve not the faintest idea. (A pause.) Do you want a whisky?
CAPTAIN. Bit early. Whatās for supper?
ALICE. How do I know? Ask the girl.
CAPTAIN. The mackerel should be in season soon. Itās autumn, after all. Outsideā¦ and inside. (A pause.) A mackerel, crusted skin gleaming from the grill, with a slice of lemon and a chilled, white burgundy.
ALICE. Poetic all of a sudden, darling?
CAPTAIN. Is there any burgundy left in the cellar?
ALICE. You drank it.
CAPTAIN. Better stock up then. Celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary.
ALICE. Youāre not serious.
CAPTAIN. Naturally.
ALICE. It would be more ānaturalā to celebrate thirty years of misery.
CAPTAIN. Alice my sweet, yes, itās been horribly miserable but weāve had good times. Now and then. And we must make use of the time we have left before itās all over.
ALICE. You and I āoverā? If only.
CAPTAIN. Donāt worry! We are over. Itās all dead. This marriage is deadā¦ manure. Shovel it into a wheelbarrow, spread it on the garden.
ALICE. It would kill off all the plants.
CAPTAIN. Well, there we go.
A pause.
ALICE. Did the post come?
CAPTAIN. Yes.
The CAPTAIN pulls out envelopes.
ALICE. Is the butcherās bill there?
CAPTAIN. You look.
ALICE. Eyes worse, are they?
CAPTAIN. Nonsense.
ALICE. Slackening of muscles in the eyeballs.
CAPTAIN. Rubbish.
ALICE (looks at the bill). Can you pay this?
CAPTAIN. Of course. Later.
ALICE. How late? In a yearās time, when youāve got your weeny, weeny little pension? Or later than that, when your illness has come backā¦
CAPTAIN. What illness, never been ill in my life. A littleā¦ nausea. Iāve got twenty more years at least.
ALICE. The doctor doesnāt think so.
CAPTAIN. Doctorā¦
A pause.
ALICE. Heās throwing a party tonight.
CAPTAIN. I know the quackās throwing a party, donāt harp on about it!
ALICE. We werenāt invited.
CAPTAIN. We werenāt invited because we donāt socialise with the quack, and we donāt socialise with the quack because we donāt want to, because I despise him and I despise his silly, goose-brained, always-with-a-new-hairdo wife. They are rubbish.
ALICE. Everyoneās rubbish to you.
CAPTAIN. People are rubbish.
ALICE. Well then, another evening in. (A pause.) Do you want to play cards?
CAPTAIN. Fine.
ALICE takes a pack of cards from a drawer in the sewing table and begins to shuffle.
ALICE. Just think, the doctorās got the Army Band to play at his party.
CAPTAIN. Thatās because heās a wheedler, he wheedles his way in with the Colonel in the town. If only I could wheedle.
ALICE. I used to like Gerda. Then she turned vicious.
CAPTAIN. Theyāre all vicious. What are trumps over there?
ALICE. Put your glasses on.
CAPTAIN. Theyāre no use. Well? Whatā¦
ALICE. Spades are trumps.
CAPTAIN (disgruntled). Spadesā¦
ALICE leads.
ALICE. Sheās turned the wives of the new officers against us, theyāve really got it in for you and me.
CAPTAIN. Donāt care, I put up with it. Iāve always been a loner.
ALICE. Well, at least weāre alike in that. But I fear for our daughter, growing up without any society.
CAPTAIN. If she wants āsocietyā let her get it, in town. I took that! Have you got more trumps there?
ALICE. One! There!
CAPTAIN. Six and eight equals fifteenā¦
ALICE. Fourteen! Fourteen!
CAPTAIN.ā¦six and eight equals fourteen. Iāve forgotten how to count. And two makesā¦ sixteenā¦ (Yawns.) You deal.
ALICE. Tired, darling?
CAPTAIN. Not at all.
ALICE listens in the direction of the door.
ALICE. You can hear the music all this way. (A pause.) Do you think they invited Kurt?
CAPTAIN. Well, he got here this morning so heāll have had time to get his fancy dress suit out. Not that heās had time to call on us.
ALICE. Whatās all this about him being āMaster of Quarantineā, are they going to make a quarantine station here?
CAPTAIN. Oh yes.
ALICE. Why donāt you tell me these things? God! (A pause.) Well, heāll be important and he is my cousin, we did share the same name onceā¦
CAPTAIN. A dubious honour.
ALICE. Donāt start on my family and I wonāt start on yours.
CAPTAIN. No, donāt letās get into all that again.
A pause.
ALICE. Doesnāt the Master of Quarantine have to be a doctor?
CAPTAIN. Not at all, heās just a jumped-up civil servant, a bookkeeper with a flashy title. The perfect rubbish post for Kurt.
God knows what heās been up to in America. Well, I havenāt missed him.
ALICE. Strange though.
CAPTAIN. What is?
ALICE. That Kurt should come back just in time for our thirtieth.
CAPTAIN. Why is that strange? Oh, I see, you mean because he brought us together.
ALICE. Well, he did.
CAPTAIN. Our matchmaker. Ha! Thought he was saving you, didnāt he.
ALICE. Stupid ideaā¦
CAPTAIN. Well, weāve had to pay for it, not him.
ALICE. Imagine if Iād stayed in the theatre. All my friends are famous now.
CAPTAIN. Right, a drink.
He walks over to the sideboard and makes himself a drink, ...