Pests

Vivienne Franzmann

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2014
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781780013947
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A hard-hitting, claustrophobic drama about trying to escape your past.

Pink loves Rolly. Rolly loves Pink. And Pink loves getting bombed off her face.

Sisters from the same nest. Both trapped in a tiny rotting world. Both cuffed to a past that refuses to release them. One wants out. The other needs her in. Trouble is that when you complete each other, you're nothing on your own.

Vivienne Franzmann's play Pests was commissioned by Clean Break in a co-production with the Royal Court Theatre, London, and the Royal Exchange Theatre, Manchester. It premiered at the Royal Exchange in March 2014, before transferring to the Royal Court and touring the UK.

Scene One

PINK’s nest. One room. A state. Newspaper torn up and shredded everywhere. A mattress slumped in the corner. A yellowing duvet – shredded paper all over it. Stained sofa. Old food. Cans. Sheets of newspaper randomly stuck up on some of the walls with parcel tape. An old and battered telly in the corner. The walls are streaked with blood/shit/food/who knows. The Spice Girls’ ‘Wannabe’ plays on a crappy CD player.

Knock on the door. Nothing. Another knock. Another. Nothing. Louder. Much louder. From a pile of shredded newspapers, a face darts out. This is PINK. Knock again. PINK looks worried. Gets up, turns CD player off. A sequence of knocks. A secret sequence. PINK goes to the door. Twitch. Smells the air. Opens the door. ROLLY stands in the doorway, pregnant, with a plastic bag in her hand. A pause. PINK stands to the side to let her in. ROLLY walks in with her plastic bag, see-through, with just a few belongings in it. PINK closes the door. She turns and looks at ROLLY. ROLLY looks back. PINK walks up to ROLLY. They stand dead still, ready. ROLLY moves backwards. PINK moves towards her. ROLLY stands her ground. PINK stops. Suddenly, ROLLY charges at PINK. PINK wrestles her to the ground. ROLLY retaliates, flipping PINK over. PINK bites her arm. ROLLY lets go. PINK legs it over the sofa. ROLLY pulls her back. PINK tries to get away. She kicks ROLLY off. ROLLY grabs her by the hair. PINK stops. They both freeze.

PINK. Violationary.

Beat.

Rule breakage.

Beat.

Your lugs receivin’ me?

Beat.

Rule six of da code, never mawl da –

Beat.

Don’t pretendy.

Beat.

Do not fuckin’ pretendy. Release.

Beat.

Release da fur.

Beat.

I means it.

Beat.

I gettin’… I ain’t jokin’. I…

Beat.

Vexationary… I is gettin’.

Beat.

Itchy…

Beat.

I warnin’ you.

Beat.

Liberate.

Beat.

I is fuckin’ warnin’ you.

Beat.

Liberate.

Beat.

Or I tear your fuckin’ tits off.

ROLLY lets go. PINK straightens herself up. Pause.

PINK looks at ROLLY.

(Punches her on the arm.) You is such a –

ROLLY (punches her on the arm). You is.

PINK (punches her on the arm). You is.

ROLLY. You is.

PINK. You fuckin’ is.

Silence. They smile at each other. ROLLY looks round the room.

ROLLY. Looks repeat, innit.

PINK (motioning to the telly). Apart from da goggle-box.

Beat.

Number four since –

ROLLY. Is it?

PINK. Got it, flogged it, got it, flogged it, got it, flogged it, got it, keeped it.

ROLLY. How long you done keeped it?

PINK. Two weeks. It a record, huh? A fuckin’ world record. Enter me in da Guinness Book of World Records. ’Member dat tome? Jayne an’ Mike gived it you for Christmas. ’Member da world’s biggest foots? Size thirty. Size fuckin’ thirty. Fuckin’ clown foots. When you get out?

ROLLY. Yesterday.

PINK. Want summit to quench?

ROLLY. Nah, had a –

PINK. Munch?

ROLLY. Nah, I’s –

PINK. You sure?

Pause.

A little gnaw?

ROLLY. No thanks.

Beat.

PINK. For real?

ROLLY. Yeah.

Beat.

PINK. Goods for you.

Beat.

Gold star.

ROLLY. Thanks.

PINK. For sure. Gold star.

Silence.

(Indicating plastic bag.) I like your bag.

ROLLY looks at her.

Is it one of dem Victoria Beckhams?

ROLLY laughs.

Spice up your life! Slice up your wife! Put up da price! Wanna really really wanna wanna zig-a-zig-ah. Zig-a-zig-ah. Zig-a-zig-ah. Where d’ya stay last night?

ROLLY. Nowhere.

PINK. Sounds nice.

Beat.

Zig-a-zig-ah. (Motioning to ROLLY’s pregnancy.) Swelled up peachy now. ’Member how big I grewed wiv Tia. Could hardly fuckin’ wander by da ends.

ROLLY. Everyfing been alright? You been –

PINK. Yeah, cool.

ROLLY. You sure?

PINK. For sure. Everyfing’s been coolness.

ROLLY. Cos when you dint come to seed me.

PINK. Yeah, ’pologetics ’bout dat –

ROLLY. I thinked maybe…

PINK. Nah.

Beat.

ROLLY. Good.

Beat.

I fretted up. I got all –

PINK. Wanna know...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Original Production
• Author’s Note
• Characters
• Pests
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information