1.
October, 2014.
A bridge over a small river on the edge of town. Bright sunshine.
KATIE pushes and spins TIA around in a wheelchair. One of TIAās legs is almost entirely covered in plaster. TIA is clutching an open bottle of champagne.
KATIE. I love it here!
TIA. Told yer.
KATIE. So pretty.
TIA. See?
KATIE. You can see for miles and miles and miles.
TIA. Beats havin to look at flaky Bennett.
KATIE. I didnāt even know you had countryside.
TIA. Bet Londonās nicer.
KATIE. Donāt get this in London. Look at all the hills and the fields and all those tiny houses dotted about on their own. Imagine living in one of them. Iād love that. Just me and Mum and a big log fire and ā
TIA. Fuck knows how yer gunna get me back up there.
KATIE. Oh Tia, I love it here!
TIA. Calm down, itās only a few fields.
KATIE. Iām so glad you came Centre!
TIA. Think someoneās gettin a bit tipsy.
KATIE. I think they are!
TIA. Donāt know it.
KATIE. Yeah anyway Iāll explain. Itās like youāre on another planet thatās actually really similar to this planet but itās different in like different ways and ā
TIA. No.
KATIE. Tryna think of the name.
TIA. Have some.
KATIE. Hold on. Let me explain the rules.
TIA. Have some first.
KATIE. Did you even have any? You didnāt even have any.
TIA. I had a massive swig, what yer on about?
KATIE. I didnāt notice.
TIA. More than that.
KATIE. Wait.
TIA. Donāt be a pussy.
KATIE. Iām not.
TIA. Innit.
KATIE. Posh people bare love it though.
TIA. Shoulda got White Star.
KATIE. Posh people got no taste.
TIA. Probably woulda got two two-litre bottles of White Star. Easy.
KATIE. Four litres of White Star?
TIA (indicating wheelchair). Yer can hide shitloads in here and no one suspects yer.
KATIE. So the rules rightā¦
TIA. Donāt wanna play a game.
KATIE. Oh come on itās fun youāll love it ā
TIA. Do a look like a can play a game?
KATIE. Ah but you donāt have to move so even people in wheelchairs can play so ā
TIA. And we still got the vodka. Iām gunna drink so much that I donāt know which way up the sky is. An the best thing is I canāt fall over.
KATIE. Okay. The rules. You gotta imagine thereās this other planet thatās just like this one ā
TIA. Donāt wanna imagine that Iām on another planet or owt else to do with yer crap game. Actin like some kind of kid, Katie.
KATIE. No Iām not ā
TIA. Yeah but not a six-year-old
KATIE. No Iām not. Six-year-olds wouldnāt be able to play this. They wouldnāt understand it. This gameās for teenagers. Bet ya thereās millions of teenagers round the world playing this game right now.
TIA. Bet yer thereās not.
KATIE. Come on. Just try it and if you donāt like it weāll stop and then we can do whatever you want.
TIA. Whatever I want?
KATIE. Yeah.
TIA. And youāll do it?
KATIE. Yeah.
TIA. Bring it on. Letās go.
KATIE. Right, so imagine youāre on a planet just like this one Except
TIA. Yer damn right.
KATIE. Basically you get the chance to imagine that youāre whoever you want to be and your life is like however you want it to be and the world is still kind of the same except the difference is, is that youāre somebody else. Well not exactly somebody else because youāre still you but different because youāre able to have your life exactly how you want it You get me?
TIA.ā¦
KATIE. So one person imagines their life being exactly how it would be in a perfect world ā
TIA. Admit it, youāve just made it up.
KATIE. I aināt I swear!
TIA.ā¦
KATIE. And Iām gonna act like I would if I was on that planet and youāve gotta work out what Iāve changed.
TIA. If I say yes will that get it over and done with quicker?
KATIE. Tia, come on. Give it a ā
TIA. Okay yes! Iāll do it. Iāve gotta guess⦠ā
KATIE. What Iāve changed about my life.