Goodbye to All That

Luke Norris

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2016
• eBook ISBN: 9781780017792
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

'I want you to remember something… You do what you want with your life. Alright? Break heads if you need to and hearts if you have to, but whatever you do don't do what I did. Don't waste yourself.'

Frank has been married for forty five years. Three years ago he fell in love.

Luke Norris's taut and tender debut play, Goodbye to All That, asks if it's ever too late to start again. It was first staged at the Royal Court Theatre, London, in 2012.

 

PART ONE

One

A golf-club lounge-bar, afternoon.

DAVID, eighteen, in the remnants of his school uniform, sitting in an armchair. He has two drinks in front of him.

FRANK, sixty-nine, has just entered.

FRANK. David.

DAVID. Hello.

FRANK. You’re in my chair. What are you doing here?

DAVID. Two A’s / and a C…

FRANK. You should’ve phoned.

DAVID. Thanks for asking.

FRANK. What?

DAVID. Two A’s and a C.

FRANK. It’s today. Course it is. How’d you go?

DAVID. Guess.

FRANK. Well that’s… Will that do it?

DAVID. No.

FRANK. Oh.

DAVID. It won’t.

FRANK. Well.

Beat.

What was the C?

DAVID. Psychology.

FRANK. Psychology. So what does that mean?

DAVID. Leicester.

FRANK. Leicester, well. Castle. Cathedral.

Beat.

National Gas Museum.

Beat.

I’ll drink to that.

DAVID. I got you one.

He holds it out.

Bell’s. Bottled Coke and one piece of ice in a bowl glass.

FRANK. Who served you?

DAVID. The fat woman.

FRANK. Brenda?

DAVID. Moustache.

FRANK. Jeanie.

DAVID. Maybe.

FRANK. Unfortunate. The women call her Poirot.

DAVID. What?

FRANK. The lady golfers. She used to shave it. Or wax it. Now…

DAVID. Nice.

FRANK. I shall have to have words. Serving you.

DAVID. I am old enough.

FRANK. You’re not a member.

DAVID. She knew it was for you when I asked.

FRANK smiles.

FRANK. Course she did. Well then.

He charges his glass.

Here’s to you.

DAVID picks up his drink.

And what’s in store.

FRANK drinks. DAVID downs half of his and winces.

What’s in there?

DAVID. Orange.

FRANK. And?

DAVID. Vodka.

FRANK. Here.

DAVID. What for?

FRANK. I want to smell it.

DAVID. I’ve just told you what it is.

FRANK. I’m checking it’s a single.

DAVID. It’s not.

FRANK. Well. Go easy. It’s early.

He charges his glass again.

And don’t tell your grandma.

DAVID. She said you were playing golf with Mike Holdsworth.

FRANK. Hmm?

DAVID. Nan – I phoned home – she said you were here with Mike / Holdsworth.

FRANK. Oh. Yeah. Yes.

DAVID. Yeah?

FRANK. Just finished.

DAVID. Early.

FRANK. Eh?

DAVID. Like you said. It’s early.

FRANK. The weather.

DAVID. Right.

FRANK. Had enough.

DAVID. Have you. Where is he?

FRANK. Who?

DAVID. Mike Holdsworth.

FRANK. Oh. Gone. Went straight off.

DAVID. Did he.

FRANK. Shot a stinker. Copped the hump.

DAVID. Shame.

FRANK. Well. I owed him one.

DAVID downs the rest of his drink.

DAVID. Same again?

FRANK. Something the matter, son?

DAVID. Why would there be?

FRANK. Well.

DAVID. I like the taste.

FRANK. It’s two o’ clock.

DAVID. I’m celebrating.

FRANK. With the best will in the world, son, you’re going to Leicester.

Beat.

DAVID. You know his grandson’s in my form at school?

FRA...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Original Production
• Dedication
• Acknowledgements
• Epigraph
• Characters
• Part One
• Part Two
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information