In Event of Moone Disaster

Andrew Thompson

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781848427006
• eBook ISBN: 9781780019734
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

'I'm off to conquer a barren world.'

1969 – Man takes his first steps on the Moon, while Sylvia meets an astronaut at a party.

2055 – Sylvia's granddaughter is set to become the first person to walk on Mars.

Witness the adventures of three extraordinary women spanning 80 years, against the backdrop of humanity's journey to the stars.

Winner of the 2016 Theatre503 Playwriting Award, In Event of Moone Disaster premiered at Theatre503, London, in 2017. It won Andrew Thompson the Best Writer award at the 2018 Stage Debut Awards.

In Event of Moone Disaster is Andrew Thompson's debut play.

Prologue

1969

Moonlight

The night of the Moon Landing.

THE ASTRONAUT stands centre-stage, visor down, looking out towards the audience.

We hear radio chatter from the Apollo 11 mission.

SYLVIA enters slowly, watches him, then walks into the arms of THE ASTRONAUT.

He picks her up gently and spins her round before placing her back on her feet.

They look at each other briefly.

She starts to undo THE ASTRONAUT’s suit.

The radio chatter increases. Building in volume and intensity.

They are both now fumbling and pulling at each other’s clothes.

A faint, slow countdown starts coming from another room, ‘10… 9… 8…’

SYLVIA jumps up and wraps her legs around him, ‘7… 6…’

She grinds her body against his. (It is the greatest sex imaginable.) ‘5… 4… 3… 2…’

‘1…’ He holds her up into the air.

SYLVIA floats there. She opens her arms in ecstasy. A moment of beautiful silence. She continues to float upwards, above the head of THE ASTRONAUT.

Neil Armstrong’s speech fills the room:

‘One small step for man. One giant leap for mankind.’

THE ASTRONAUT slowly turns, moves away upstage, and disappears.

We hear a cheer from within.

SYLVIA drops suddenly to the floor.

Blackout.

PART ONE

1969

A Party

Earlier that same evening. DENNIS is dressed as an astronaut.

DENNIS. Is it just me or is this bloody amazing.

SYLVIA. You’re so pretty, Dennis. Has anyone ever told you that?

DENNIS. There is a man on the moon, our moon, as we speak and we know cos we can watch it on a television.

SYLVIA. Has anyone ever talked to you about your eyes?

DENNIS. A box. A box is showing me pictures of another man actually in space.

SYLVIA. I mean really talked to you?

DENNIS. Are you alright?

SYLVIA. It’s just amazing as you say. What about your lips?

DENNIS. What?

SYLVIA. Your lips.

DENNIS. What about them?

SYLVIA. Exactly.

Beat.

She kisses him.

You taste like… red. Like poppies.

DENNIS. You taste like… have you been sick?

SYLVIA. A bit, yeah. Earlier. It’s fine now though, I’m sober. Soberer.

We landed on the moon, you know.

DENNIS. I know. I’m trying to watch it.

SYLVIA. It’s amazing, isn’t it.

DENNIS. That’s what I told you.

SYLVIA. What we can do. What we people can do.

We should celebrate.

DENNIS. You have been.

SYLVIA. What do you think it’s like, the surface of the moon?

DENNIS. It’s a rock, isn’t it.

SYLVIA. Wouldn’t it be weird if it turned out to be sticky. Or if they’d got there and there was like, one random cow just stood there staring at them. And it just starts grazing.

DENNIS. What would it graze on, / dust.

SYLVIA. Will you do it with me?

It’ll be romantic.

She points to the television.

Under the moonlight.

She kisses him again. This time DENNIS responds.

They continue to make out sloppily throughout the following.

Oh God.

DENNIS. Yes!

SYLVIA. No, I just thought. What happens if they don’t come back. I mean, what would they say?

DENNIS. Who?

SYLVIA. Everyone. That’d be so sad, wouldn’t it. Everyone gazing up at the moon and worrying if they’ll see a body.

DENNIS. They won’t.

SYLVIA stops.

SYLVIA. But think of it.

DENNIS continues, kissing her face and neck. All those lovers staring all wide-eyed at the moon. Those moonlit walks and picnics in the park. You and me doing it. They’re all of them washed with blood.

DENNIS stops.

DENNIS. Is this happening or not?

SYLVIA. I’m just saying, did we think of that, before we sent them.

DENNIS goes to kiss her again but she stops him.

Did we realise how much they’d steal from us, those future people all looking badly at the moon. That poor moon. All that time looking longingly at us, dreaming of attention. Touch. Then it happens and they die. The first time you do it with someone and they die on you. I suppose everybody’s first time dies, don’t they. Eventually. Aw, you’ve made me all sad now.

DENNIS. I haven’t said a word for about five minutes.

SYLVIA (to the television). Please don’t die, moon people.

DENNIS. Oh God.

SYLVIA. We love you.

DENNIS. Have you taken something?

Beat....

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title page
• Contents
• Original Production
• Acknowledgements
• Dedication
• Characters
• In Event of Moone Disaster
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information