The Half Of It

Karen Cogan

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2018
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781788500982
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

In a London flat, a Cork woman is climbing the walls. She lives alone, eating dry digestives and hiding from the postman. She hasn't stepped outside in six years. Does she definitely still exist?

Karen Cogan's first play The Half Of It is a darkly lyrical monologue about a life, lived unseen, which won the Stewart Parker Award in 2018 after a sold-out run at the Dublin Fringe Festival, produced by Mommo Theatre.

(A bedsit in London. Maybe there are fresh stains on the carpet.)

(A WOMAN wakes up. She is crumpled and unable for life.

12.11 p.m. She has slept for as long as she can.

She stands in her space. She turns the radio on. Static rings out.

The radio springs to life and ‘Knock Three Times’ by Dawn plays.

She is transfixed by the sudden music. Perhaps she sways tensely.

The house does not smell good. She does not smell good.

She walks to the window. She stands in front of it but makes no move to open it. This window will not be opened today.

She stares out, into space.)

Woman

Woman

Man

Bus Stop

Smoking

Phone

Hello

Maggots

Stop

Mick Café

Morning Mick

Sandwich Board

Mick

Woman

Downturned mouth

Looks Irish or maybe Bulgarian

Woman

Girl

Dopey bitch

Stop

Mick Café

Stop

Stop

[This is] Pointless.

(She gives up on the window.)

(She goes to a packet of biscuits and begins to eat. She chews some, well, and then spits out.)

(She sprays air freshener all over the space; and then, herself.)

Putrid

No point crying over… No

It is a known fact that a life needs witnesses

Ssh!

If a tree falls in a forest and…

But shur…

Girl

No

Girl

NO

Mick Café

Boy

Boy

Brown

Lovely

Rushing

Stooped over

Can of

(She stares.)

Can of

Lager

Tanora

Energy drink

Green slash on the tin

Energy

For the day

Energy Boy

Three times more men kill themselves than women

Girls

Women

Ladies

Women

Three times more

Or two times

Suicide

Energy Boy is suicidal

He is

Killing himself because of

Not enough. Energy?

Too much energy?

Maybe his girlfriend died

Or his mother

Or his

Sister

Maybe his sister died and the boy can’t cope at all

Maybe she

Lingered in a

Hospital ’til she died a bit

And then died completely

Or was knocked down by a speeding bike

Or got an infection and her blood turned septic and she died of pus and poison

Or slit wrists sideways up the arms

Or murdered with a hammer after a rape

Or died when a baby was coming out of her

Or brain cancer

Or died on the operating –

Or fell and cracked her skull

Or

Or

Or

Okay

I hope someone put face cream on her. Before her coffin

Energy Boy doesn’t seem very interested in creams. Maybe it doesn’t matter

No!

Good to keep up standards

Even when you’re dead

Oil of Olay or

Stop

They jump off a bridge

The boys

Up to the top and

Off

Into the air

Must feel like – (Carefully imagines the sensation of falling.)

Whooooooooooosh

Traffic though

What if

What if you land on a girl who just passed her driving test

Illegal to kill yourself

How c...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Dedication
• Original Production
• Characters
• Note on Text
• The Half of It
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information