Constructing Lived Experiences

Representations of Black Mothers in Child Sexual Abuse Discourses

Claudia Bernard

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2017
• ISBN:
  9781351750585
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Scienze sociali
• Subtopic: Studi sull'etnia

This title was first published in 2001. Employing a black feminist standpoint, Claudia Bernard offers an in-depth study of black mothers' responses to the abuse of their children and of the factors which shape their reactions and help-seeking behaviour.

1 Introduction

Aims of the Book

This book is centrally concerned with representations of black mothers in child sexual abuse discourses. Prevailing paradigms of intrafamilial child sexual abuse proffer ideas of the "collusive mother" that exert a powerful influence on intervention strategies in child protection cases. In challenging such ideas, a critical starting point of this book is that whilst all mothers of abused children may have some common experiences, divisions constructed around race and social class create a very different set of circumstances within which they respond to the abuse of their children. In centring attention on black mothers' experiences, I argue that to fully understand their reactions and responses necessitates an examination of their lived experiences within its broader social context. Through a critical discussion of the nature of mother-blame in child sexual abuse discourses, I seek to illuminate the specificity of black mothers' situations whilst critically assessing the structural, cultural and emotional factors that interplay for them. By providing an exploration of the links between race and gender as important markers for experience, I employ the intersectionality paradigm to call attention to the notion that black mothers occupy a range of multiple and contradictory positions that have implications for their help-seeking and protective strategies in the aftermath of abuse.

Thus, a central concern of the book is to explore the experience of child sexual abuse within black families to develop paradigms that are grounded in knowledge of black mothers' lived experiences. The focus on black women as mothers acknowledges that they are usually the designated carers with primary responsibilities for bringing up children. As a consequence, they are usually the parents left to deal with child protection services in the aftermath of abuse. Utilising data drawn from interviews conducted with black mothers whose children had been sexually abused, this book seeks to interrogate through the lens of black feminist thinking how race and gender dynamics shape black mothers' responses. It is my contention that in order to deepen understandings of how black mothers' responses to the sexual victimisation of their children are constructed and negotiated, the racially gendered dimensions of their experiences require examination to elucidate how multiple oppressions cohere for them.

Rationale for the Book

The stimulus for this book derives from my first-hand experiences of working with mothers as a child protection social worker in the statutory sector. I was struck then by the extent of mother-blame that overwhelmingly characterised social work intervention with families where child sexual abuse occurred. At the same time, I observed that mothers' responses to the abuse of their children were repeatedly represented as attributes of their parenting abilities. Most significantly, in our society where mothers primarily are the main carers of children, whether sexual abuse is intrafamilial or extrafamilial they are the parent who is most likely to encounter social welfare agencies and whose parenting most comes up for an intensive scrutiny. Therefore, whether consciously or unconsciously, professional helpers always managed to shift the burden of responsibility on to mothers and proffered the prevailing view of mothers' culpability in the abuse of their children. I found that one of the hardest attitudes to break down was the deeply entrenched belief that mothers were complicit in the abuse of their children. But perhaps most damaging of all is that underlying the claim of mothers as collusive is the assumption that they are actively or passively complicit in the abuse of their children; they were thus often charged with failing to protect. In particular, I was surprised and alarmed at the way in which professional helpers employed the collusive paradigm and rarely questioned the notion of gendered power relations as an important construct in discourses of child sexual abuse.

Whilst these ideas were rarely explicitly articulated, their influence nonetheless had profound effects in shaping a discourse of mothers as collusive and, more importantly, subjected their parenting to a negative scrutiny. I soon learnt that presumptions of the collusive mother were so deeply ingrained in professional discourses that old patterns of thinking were difficult to shift. Perhaps not surprisingly, there was resistance to any perspective that was rooted in an understanding of gendered power relations between men and women in families as a way of beginning to conceptualise mothers' responses to the sexual abuse of their children. Attempting to explode the many misconceptions that informed practice with mothers brought into sharp focus the ways in which normative assumptions about mothers and fathers' roles in the family actively shaped professional judgements about mothers and gave rise to a particular oppressive practice with mothers. What was most apparent was that embedded gender-biased assumptions about mothers' roles are among the most difficult and challenging aspects of thinking about sexual abuse in families. It felt to me almost as if any attempt to disrupt the taken for granted assumptions that it is mothers' sole responsibility to safeguard the welfare of their children inevitably brought the charge of over-identifying with mothers and losing focus of the children concerned.

At the same time, my disquiet at the levels of mother-blaming provoked my growing unease at the lack of understanding of the particular experiences of mothers from black and minority ethnic groups, I was especially alarmed by the casual reliance on explanations that rested on assumptions of culture-centred suppositions to explain child sexual abuse in black and minority ethnic families. Significantly, the interwoveness and interconnectedness of race, gender, and socio-economic factors as part of the social fabric in which black mothers are situated and the implications for their responses to the sexual victimisation of their children is underrepresented in the literature and in conceptualisation. What seemed apparent to me is that intervention practices that rested on normative assumptions of black mothers' parenting abilities would fail to recognise the powerful interacting forces that cohere for them to bring a particular response to their children's victimisation. Such an approach would be limited for considering the realities for black mothers and ultimately will fail to engage them in any meaningful way. My thinking then was underpinned by a perspective that suggests that a culture-specific standpoint is not only imbued with an ethnocentrism but masks a deeper problem of racism in the construction of black families in welfare discourses. My thinking is still the same now, though I have come to see the importance of opening up questions of how cultural meanings and values of child-rearing and parenting practices are understood in black and ethnic minority families for the development of culturally competent intervention. Equally important is the need to consider where interventions predicated on suppositions of cultural relativism may obscure the workings of oppressive and abusive practices to black women and children in their families (Baylis and Downie, 1997).

Perhaps most critically for me, because the thinking about black mothers was not grounded in an understanding of their lived experiences, intervention served to reflect and reproduce existing powerlessness with this group of mothers and inevitably deepened their distress and exacerbated the stigma felt by these mothers. In retrospect, I now recognise more clearly my struggles to reconcile the conflict I felt in my values and perspective; most notably, the challenges posed in being part of a system that reproduced the oppression these mothers experienced in their families through an intervention that rested on assumptions of the "collusive mother". In many respects, the point at which these issues crystallised for me was in gaining a deeper understanding of the consequences of an anti-oppressive social work approach. Intervention strategies are needed that will make a qualitative and sustainable difference for assisting mothers to respond to the needs of their children in the aftermath of child sexual abuse victimisation and to enable them to participate folly in any child protection investigations from a position of strength. I therefore became most interested in developing a perspective of how racism and gender oppression prohibits an open exploration of painful issues surrounding abuse and maltreatment in black families. Most importantly, interrogation of these issues provides us with the means to begin to conceptualise black mothers' responses for expanding theoretical frameworks to facilitate effective responses to black families.

Against this background I was motivated to open up questions that would contribute to a deeper understanding of the multiplicity of factors that impact on black mothers' responses to their children's sexual abuse. Against this background, I was motivated to undertake research into the nature of black mothers' experiences, to make visible their struggles to cope with the abuse of their children in the context of contradictions and ambiguities. Thus, the research that is the basis for this book focused on black mothers' experiences and understandings of the sexual abuse of their children. Drawing on first-hand accounts of black mothers, the research examines the way race and gender coalesce to inform black mothers' help-seeking and protective strategies on discovery of the abuse of their children. A principal aim of the research is to explore the uncharted territory of black mothers' accounts to candidly bring their experiences into full view. Another aim is to generate data to extend and deepen our understandings of the complexities involved for black mothers in making sense of the abuse of their children and giving voice to those experiences. In Britain, there is currently a paucity of original research and theoretical literature on child sexual abuse in black families. In addressing this under-explored area, my goal is to offer a perspective to promote practice with black mothers that is firmly located in the lived experiences of mothers themselves. Perhaps, most importantly, this book develops understandings that could be drawn upon to inform child protection policy and practice to ultimately enhance strategies for helping in black families.

Overview of the Book

In chapter two I address the theoretical and conceptual framework underpinning the book. I give an overview of feminist paradigms of the representation of mothers in child sexual abuse discourses and praxis. Drawing on a broad spectrum of perspectives, I review current research to consider how culturally embedded ideas of mothers as collusive are reinforced and reproduced in children protection practices. The discussion elucidates the strengths and limitations in the literature on mothers, then moves on to consider the specificity of black mothers' position within broader debates about child sexual abuse in black families. In chapter threeI set out the research methodology and discuss the conceptual framework that has guided the study and discuss some of the ethical issues that have framed the data gathering and analysis. The remainder of the book presents the findings of the research to explore a number of key areas. Chapter fourdraws on the findings to examine the emotional and behavioural responses of mothers to unravel the multiple determining factors that influenced their responses. Using the voices of mothers to illustrate particular points, the paradigm of divided loyalty is employed as a conceptual framework for analysing the complexity of mothers' emotional responses. The multi-layered nature of their experiences in their families and communities are examined to argue that the nature of the relationship between black mothers and their families are key determinants of their responses. Chapter fivediscusses the effects of the abuse on women's mothering. Here I draw on data gathered from both mothers who did and did not involve child protection services to argue that the processes by which mothers made such decisions are imbued with a set of contradictions and ambiguities. Particularly, I address the centrality of mothers' coping mechanisms, and the meanings they attach to their mothering and support networks to explore their parenting in the aftermath of abuse. Chapter sixfocuses on mothers' help-seeking to address issues surrounding risk assessment for black children in the aftermath of abuse. I draw out some of the main messages from the research to assess the implications for black mothers' help-seeking behaviour for the safety and emotional needs of their children. Through some reflections on the nature of mothers' experiences, the implications of risk factors for black children are explored. In particular, I examine how mothers' perceptions of the child protection services influence their decisions on whether and how to involve helping professionals. The book concludes by outlining a framework for working with black mothers and develops the argument that non-abusing mothers can play a key role in contributing to their children's recovery from abuse. Mapping out the tensions inherent in balancing the needs of mothers against the needs and rights of black children, this final chapter explores from a standpoint rooted in anti-oppressive values, the complexities and dilemmas involved in professional practice for working collaboratively with mothers to promote the welfare of their children.

2 Setting the Scene: Representations of Mothers in Child Sexual Abuse Discourses

This chapter explores representations of mothers in child sexual abuse discourse and practice. Arguably, feminist and pro-feminist interpretations are at the forefront of critiquing mother-blaming theories, and are transforming the thinking of mothers in child sexual abuse discourses. By centrally addressing gender as a locus of power relations, scholars writing from a feminist perspective have not only been careful to draw a sharp distinction between abusing and non-abusing parents, but have also distinguished between mothers and fathers in their analysis of child sexual abuse in the home. More recently, first-person accounts from mothers of abused children and original research with mothers are bringing their voices to the public domain, and are challenging the many misconceptions that abound about the "collusive mother" (Ashley, 1992; Dempster, 1993; Hooper, 1992; Johnson, 1992; Skinner, 2000). In particular, first-person accounts by mothers shift our focus on to the devastating impact of sexual abuse by someone loved and trusted and bring into sharp focus that they experience a number of problems and have their own needs. An important starting point therefore is how we understand the role of mothers who in the majority of cases are the non-abusing parent, and whom children largely depend on for support and protection in the aftermath of abuse.

A review of the literature on child sexual abuse shows that there are significant gender differences in the way mothers and fathers are represented in child protection discourse and practice (Bell, 1993; Birns and Meyer, 1993; Breckenridge and Baldry, 1997; Caplan, 1990; Corby, 1996; Elbow and Mayfield, 1991; Faller, 1988; Garvey, Florence, Pezaro and Tan, 1990; Gilgun, 1984; Hooper, 1997; Hooper and Humphreys, 1997; Mittler, 1997; Parton, 1998; Skinner, 2000; Trotter, 1997; Wattenberg, 1985). These perspectives have pointed to the way arguments about mothers' complicity in their children's abuse moves the responsibility for the abuse away from men and attributes blame to mothers (DeYoung, 1994; Hooper, 1992; Johnson, 1992). Those committed to placing gender at the centre of their analyses are keenly aware that mothers figure centrally in responsibility for abuse, and that fathers are largely absent by their invisibility in both practice and research (Farmer and Owen, 1998; Hooper, 1992; Milner, 1993). This prominence is indicated in the prevalence of research that consistently cites fathers, stepfathers, male relatives and other men as overwhelmingly the perpetrators of sexual abuse against children. Nonetheless, there is still a tendency in research and practice to give greater attention to mothers' supposed "failure to protect" rather than to focus on men's abusive behaviour (Farmer and Owen, 1998; Hooper and Humphreys, 1998). Indeed, the attention given to fathers or father-figures in the literature on risk and child protection is noticeably absent, and work with families tends to focus largely on mothers and female care-givers (Green, 1996; Hooper, 1992; Krane and Davies, 2000; Milner, 1996; O'Hagan, 1997; Oko, 2000; Pringle, 1998). Though legally both parents may have responsibility for the safety and protection of children, the fact remains that it is women as mothers who routinely come up for an intense scrutiny and who most encounter the negative attention of child protection agencies. Consequently, the gaze is deflected away from men and firmly focused on mothers, thus reinforcing the prevailing assumption within dominant discourses of child welfare that it is women as mothers who are assumed to have primary responsibility for children's well-being. Subsequently, when anything goes wrong in the family, it is mothers' parenting that comes up for an intense professional scrutiny (Milner, 1993).

Feminist analyses have called attention to the complex processes involved for mothers in the aftermath of intra-familial child sexual abuse, and have long recognised that emotional and social processes are critical in shaping mothers' responses (Carter, 1993; Green, 1996; Hooper, 1992; Jacobs, 1994; Mclntre, 1981; Myer, 1985; Sirles and Frank, 1989). In her insightful text "Victimised Daughters: Incest and the Development of the Female Self, Jacobs summarises some of the main theoretical formulations on mothers to outline the dominant explanatory frameworks used to explain mothers' positions in child sexual abuse paradigms. She identifies three dominant models to explain mothers' predicaments: "The mother as colluder; the mother as helpless dependent; and the mother as victim herself' (p.26). These approaches all emphasise mothers' powerlessness in protecting their children from abuse. What has been highlighted most succinctly by feminist research is that on the disclosure of sexual abuse, the cognitive, emotional and relational world of mothers is shattered (Cammaert, 1988; Dempster, 1993; Hooper, 1992; Johnson, 1992; Myer, 1985). In addition, feminists have stressed that issues of power and gender relations in families are critical to an understanding of their impact on mothers' psychological, emotional and behavioural responses (Dempster, 1993; Hooper, 1992; MacLeod and Saraga, 1988; Nelson, 1985; Print and Dey, 1992; Smith, 1994). This is in contrast to the portrayal of mothers in dominant child sexual abuse discourse, which typically characterise them as collusive, cold, frigid, emotionally distant, and being in denial (Bell, 1993; Green, 1996; Jacobs, 1994; Nelson, 1987; Salt, Myer, Colman and Sauzier, 1990; Surrey, 1991). Nelson, for instance, provides an excellent review of the literature depicting mothers as collusive, and her analysis debunks the many myths and misconceptions surrounding representation of mothers in child sexual abuse. What is highlighted most powerfully is how dominant explanatory frameworks fail to explore the way women who may be economically and emotionally dependent on their children's abusers may perceive their choices. Green (1996), exploring the construction of mothers in incest, illustrates the complexities of the issues by pointing out that mothers' responses will be determined by the extent of power relations within the family, and are augmented by the emotional, social and financial stresses that they face.

The importance of understanding the effects of abuse on mothers' internal sense of self and world is critical for providing the right kind of intervention (Ashley, 1992; Green, 1996; Scott, 1996). Moreover, it is important to recognise that suspecting their husbands or partners of abuse will damage mothers' internal world constructs, and such damage is a major contributory factor in influencing their agency and actions (Green, 1996; Hooper and Humphreys, 1998). Essentially, how mothers see themselves, how they see their relationships with their partners, and most importantly, how they see their roles and their options, will certainly all be affected.

Some commentators argue that especially where the abuser is the woman's husband or partner, learning of the abuse can elicit a powerful grief response in mothers such as shock, numbness, denial, fear, anxiety, guilt, anger and depression (Ashley, 1992; Green, 1996; Johnson, 1992). In particular, first hand accounts of those who work directly with mothers of abused children emphasise that some mothers may have no knowledge of the abuse, others may not have picked up the "clues" surrounding abuse, whilst others may know about it but might be fearful of seeking help (Hildebrand, 1989).

Moreover, as research has identified, some mothers may not be in a position to protect their children when their male partners are violent (Fanner and Owen, 1998; Hester and Pearson, 1998; Truesdell, McNeil, Deschner, 1986). For example, in their study of forty-four children whose names had been placed on the child protection register, Farmer and Owen found that where children were being sexually abused, in two-fifths of cases the mother was also exper...