Helping Children Who Bottle Up Their Feelings

A Guidebook

Margot Sunderland, Nicky Hancock

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN:
  9781138047174
• eBook ISBN:
  9781351693615
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Early Childhood Education
• Index: Psychology

A guidebook to help children who: are trying to manage their too painful feelings by themselves; do not let themselves cry, protest or say that they are scared; are living with too many unresolved painful emotions from the past; have had disturbing, overwhelming or confusing experiences, which they have been unable to think through or feel through properly; are full of unexpressed feelings because expressing them feels far too dangerous; and are full of unmourned grief.

What You can do After You have Read a Nifflenoo Called Nevermind to the Child

This section offers ideas for things to say and do after you have read this story to the child. The tasks, games and exercises are specifically designed to help a child to think about, express and further digest his feelings about the story’s theme.

As previously discussed, children often cannot speak clearly and fully in everyday language about what they are feeling, but they can show or enact, draw or play out their feelings. Therefore, many of the exercises in this section offer support for creative, imaginative and playful ways of expression. They are also designed to inspire a child to respond further by telling his own stories.

In order that you avoid asking the child too many questions (children can soon feel interrogated), some exercises just require a tick in a box, or the choosing of a word or image from a selection.

Please note The tasks, games and exercises are not designed to be worked through in chronological order. Also, there are far too many to attempt them all in one go — the child would feel bombarded. So just pick the ones you think would be right for the child you are working with, taking into account his age, and how open he is to the subject matter. Instructions to the child are in tinted boxes.

All about the ‘too-full-of-feelings’ feeling

Do you ever feel like any of these? (Tick if you do)

My head feels too full. ❑

My heart feels too full. ❑

There are too many feelings inside me to take in any more. ❑

I’d like to go to a place where I could scream and scream and scream. ❑

I’d just like to open the top of my head for a moment, so I can let out all my feelings. ❑

I sometimes wish I never had to feel anything ever again. ❑

I’m full of feelings, but I feel empty too. ❑

I can’t stomach any more. ❑

I can’t really be with what is happening around me, because there’s too much feeling inside me. ❑

Colourful feelings

On the picture of the boy or girl, draw the feelings you think you have been bottling up for a while. Use red for anger, green for fear, blue for sad, brown for a ‘what’s the point?’ feeling and yellow for hurt.

Show how much of the feeling you have inside you. So, for example, if you are bottling up a lot of anger but not much sadness, draw a lot of red and a little bit of blue. Next, draw in the mouth.

Figure 7 Colourful feelings

Five ‘never mind’ things

Draw or tell five things that have happened to you recently, to which you have said to yourself ‘never mind’, when really you did mind.

Too-big feelings

Tick any of the following feelings that have got too big and strong inside you. (Because they have got so big and strong, it can mean that you are hurting too much inside). If it is more than one feeling, do more than one tick. If you have a too-big feeling that is not on the list, then write or draw that one.

Too much hate ❑

Too much anger ❑

Too much sadness ❑

Too much disappointment ❑

Too much love ❑

Too heart-broken ❑

Too much hurt ❑

Too much wanting something to happen which isn’t happening ❑

Too much being all muddled up inside ❑

Too much fear ❑

Too much hating and loving someone all at the same time ❑

Too much worry ❑

Too much boredom ❑

Too much ‘what’s the point?’ ❑

Too much jealousy ❑

Too much not liking myself ❑

Too much feeling miserable ❑

Too much shock ❑

Too much feeling...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• About the Author & Illustrator
• Acknowledgements
• About This Guidebook
• Introduction
• What Life is Like for Children Who have Decided to Keep Their Troubled Feelings as a Private Affair
• What you can Do After You Have Read a Nifflenoo Called nevermind to the Child
• Considering Further Counselling or Therapy for Children Who Bottle up Their Feelings
• Bibliography