Hanoch Levin: Selected Plays Three

The Thin Soldier; Bachelors and Bachelorettes; Everyone Wants to Live; The Constant Mourner; The Lamenters

Hanoch Levin, Jessica Cohen, Evan Fallenberg, Naaman Tammuz, Jessica Cohen, Evan Fallenberg, Naaman Tammuz

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2020
• Print ISBN: 9781786829122
• eBook ISBN: 9781786829115
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: Literary Criticism in Drama
• Index: Literature

'Hanoch Levin is the modern world on the stage... we badly need to hear what he has to say.' David Lan Hanoch Levin was one of Israel's leading dramatists. Born in Tel Aviv in 1943, his work includes comedies, tragedies, and satirical cabarets, most of which he directed himself. He received numerous theatre awards both in Israel and abroad and his plays have been staged around the world. Levin was awarded the Bialik Prize in 1994. Published in brand-new English translations, these selected volumes of Hanoch Levin, one of Israel's leading dramatists, aim to bring one of the most important playwrights of the Middle East to English speaking audiences. Plays Three contains the plays The Thin Soldier, Bachelors and Bachelorettes (2002), Everyone Wants to Live, The Constant Mourner (2019) and The Lamenters (2000).

BACHELORS AND BACHELORETTES

Translated from the Hebrew by Naaman Tammuz

The crazy and hilarious mating dance of five characters — two single women and three single men. Couples break up as quickly as they assemble, with every potential bride and groom mutually disgusted by their partner. All the petty egoistic desires, all the rose-tinted dreams, mingle and clash with the reality of humiliation and contempt. ‘I’m the tragic character that comedies are about!’, says one of the not-so-young bachelors. Aren’t we all.

Cast of Characters

ZNEIDUCH

FLOTSIKA

HRABINO

BULBA

OISTVIND, a fat man

All of them are bachelors and bachelorettes in their thirties.

The entire plot takes place in FLOTSIKA’s flat, in BULBA’s flat, and in the corridor connecting the two.

SCENE 1

ZNEIDUCH and FLOTSIKA are sitting gloomily, in their underwear, on the bed, their shoulders hunched.

ZNEIDUCH: (To the audience.) I don’t love her. In two months we’re getting married. That’s just how it is.

(Sighs and lies down on the bed, turns his back to her and prepares to sleep. She shakes him, pushes herself up against him, rides on his hips, moans with desire, he turns to the audience.)

And it’s always this shouting, moaning, writhing, hysteria. But I happen to like it European-style, like an English funeral – total silence, light mist, put it into the hole, only a very brief commotion, and then home.

(Turns his back to her, tries to fall asleep. She starts shaking him again. He sits up. To the audience.)

She’s not really pretty. Not really attractive, no, not really. I’m also not much to look at, really. And somehow everything’s actually not that real, and life in general is a bit, how can I put it…you’re alive, that’s true, but it’s like the realness is somehow running away from you. Nonsense. It’s a shame.

(Tries to get up from the bed.)

FLOTSIKA: Where to?

ZNEIDUCH: Home.

FLOTSIKA: Aren’t you going to stay and sleep here?

ZNEIDUCH: What for? Wasn’t I here? Didn’t a conversation take place? Didn’t animal the animal instincts rage? What more do you want?

FLOTSIKA: To sleep together.

ZNEIDUCH: We’ll stick to each other after the wedding.

FLOTSIKA: I love you!

ZNEIDUCH: I heard you! After the wedding!

FLOTSIKA: Just give a little bit of yourself, why are you being so stingy!? What does it cost you for us to sleep next to each other? You can’t even feel it. Will you stay?

ZNEIDUCH: No.

FLOTSIKA: Give me a little bit of satisfaction.

ZNEIDUCH: I don’t feel like it.

FLOTSIKA: I’m really begging.

ZNEIDUCH: No, I don’t feel like it.

FLOTSIKA: You probably think you’re so great to have someone begging you. Who are you? Tell me, who are you?

ZNEIDUCH: Here we go again with the ‘who are you’? Who are you and what are you, and what are you and who are you! What do I care who I am? The main thing is that I am!

(Starts getting dressed.)

FLOTSIKA: And when are we going to meet?

ZNEIDUCH: Saturday evening.

FLOTSIKA: That long?

ZNEIDUCH: Everything passes.

FLOTSIKA: (Gets up and hugs him.) Do you love your lawful fiancé?

ZNEIDUCH: As required.

FLOTSIKA: Do you love? I want to hear the word. Do you love?

ZNEIDUCH: As required.

FLOTSIKA: Say the word!

ZNEIDUCH: I don’t feel like it.

FLOTSIKA: I’m really begging.

ZNEIDUCH: No, I don’t feel like it.

FLOTSIKA: (Snatches his trousers from his hands and runs to the corner of the room.) You’re mine! Mine!

ZNEIDUCH: Give me the trousers!

FLOTSIKA: Mine, mine!

ZNEIDUCH: After the wedding!

FLOTSIKA: Now!

ZNEIDUCH: After the wedding! We’ll sleep next to each other after the wedding, trousers after the wedding, everything after the wedding!

FLOTSIKA: Now, now! I want to be together, together, mine, one flesh, one soul, everything one, together, united!

ZNEIDUCH: (Chases her around.) The trousers, you witch! What are you wrinkling them for? Why are you flailing around like a gorilla? Are you a gorilla? So just say that you’re a gorilla and we’ll each draw our own conclusions!

(Manages to grab his trousers from her, puts them on angrily.)

‘Together, together!’ – from the day I met you I haven’t stopped hearing about together and about being united! Go and sleep together with your own nose! Shoo! Not another sound! Get out, quietly, on your tiptoes, like a silent ballerina…

FLOTSIKA: Out? From my own house?

ZNEIDUCH: I forgot, sorry…in! To the toilet, quietly, on your tiptoes, like a silent ballerina! And don’t show your face until next Saturday evening! Not this one – the next one!

(While hastily putting on his trousers, angrily, to himself.)

Why didn’t I get electrocuted when I was five, when I stuck those knitting needles into the wall socket, I would have died with a fantastic potential future ahead of me, and I’d also have been asleep now for twenty-five years straight; she could shout ‘together!’ for a thousand years – I’d be in a deep, beautiful, eternal slumber, and above all: alone! Shame. Nonsense.

(Finishes putting his trousers on. She tries to push herself against him again, he wriggles free as though from a sticky paste, runs to the do...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Dedication
• Hanoch Levin: A Short Biographical Note
• The Thin Soldier
• Bachelors and Bachelorettes
• Everyone Wants to Live
• The Constant Mourner
• The Lamenters