La Ronde

Max Gill

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN: 9781786821553
• eBook ISBN: 9781786821560
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

This portrait of the human need for another boldly reimagines the infamous original to interrogate modern attitudes to gender, sexuality, and social status. With over three thousand different versions of the show, which story will you see? With four actors to play the cast of ten and roles selected with a roulette, our La Ronde embraces life's game of chance and the blindness of desire and fortune.

‘Can’t have come cheap.’

‘Nothing does.’

1

A brothel.

PROSTITUTE with a can of baked beans in their hands. Thai music plays.

BUS DRIVER stands on the other side of the room with their back to PROSTITUTE.

BUS DRIVER frustrated. Exhales. Fingers twitching. Deep breath.

PROSTITUTE:	Are you ready?
BUS DRIVER:	Do it.
PROSTITUTE laughs.
Beat.
BUS DRIVER listens.
BUS DRIVER:	Again. Do it again?
PROSTITUTE laughs.
BUS DRIVER:	Ignore what I said about Father Christmas. Is more like the Wicked Witch of the West but her balls have dropped.
PROSTITUTE laughs.
BUS DRIVER:	That’s it. Fuck me you ain’t half bad at this are you, love?
	Alright let’s have it. Let’s go from the top. I’m ready for you.
They rush into position.
PROSTITUTE:	‘Would you like more beans?’
BUS DRIVER:	It ain’t gonna work if you don’t do it Spanish, is it? How’d you forget you’re fucking Spanish? Jesus wept. With a proper moustache and a daughter in a nunnery and all. Let’s go back.
PROSTITUTE:	‘Would you like more beans?’
BUS DRIVER:	Here we go.
BUS DRIVER gears them self up.
BUS DRIVER:	Come on. Get with it Mickey. Get with it. Alright. Ready now. Promise.
PROSTITUTE tips the can.
BUS DRIVER:	Wait! Hold up!
PROSTITUTE:	I did something wrong?
BUS DRIVER:	No. You’re doing great. I’m just simmering and I just gotta wait for that rolling boil.
Beat.
BUS DRIVER:	Ready.
PROSTITUTE:	‘Would you like more beans?’
BUS DRIVER:	Come closer and stand proper over me. That’s it. I’ll squat. I’m only six for God’s sake. And I’m small for a six-year-old, let me tell you. And you’re leerin’. That’s it I wanna see your teeth. Alright. I got it. I’m holding the tray like this like butter wouldn’t melt. You’ve got your rubber gloves on. That’s it them rubber gloves like it was yesterday. Alright.
PROSTITUTE:	You ready?
BUS DRIVER:	Yes I’m fucking ready what’s it look like come on.
PROSTITUTE:	‘Would you like more beans?’
BUS DRIVER:	No I don’t like beans. (Nods.)
PROSTITUTE pours beans on BUS DRIVER
BUS DRIVER:	Laugh! Now!
PROSTITUTE laughs.
Pause.
BUS DRIVER:	Got a tissue?
PROSTITUTE hands BUS DRIVER tissues.
BUS DRIVER wipes face. Throws tissue to the floor.
BUS DRIVER:	Fuckin’ hell. Fuckin’ hell. Two hours we been here? I can’t think of anything else. You’re not helping me right if I’m perfectly honest.
PROSTITUTE:	Don’t think what you want. Feel with your body.
BUS DRIVER:	Yeah yeah…No, no, no. ’Cos now I’m thinking about what I’m feeling, aren’t I!
PROSTITUTE:	I will do whatever you want.
BUS DRIVER:	Then tell me what I want. You’re the fucking expert. ’Scuse me. I forgot, you’re a virgin that’s right. This is your first time. Jesus. Tell me honest. Am I fucked up ’cos there’s nothing wrong with me? Eh? Am I a blinking fucking weirdo because I don’t wanna do it normal but I don’t want a pineapple right up in my arse? Tell me. You must have seem some proper class A honey-nut-loopy-cunts in your time.
PROST...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half-title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Cast
• Contents
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10