eBook - ePub
Octopus
About this book
Set in a world where how British you are is determined by the state, three women have been called in for interview. Sara looks kind of Asian. Scheherazade kind of Middle Eastern. And Sarah is kind of white and has no idea why she's here. She also keeps bursting into song.
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Yes, you can access Octopus by Afsaneh Gray in PDF and/or ePUB format, as well as other popular books in Literature & British Drama. We have over one million books available in our catalogue for you to explore.
Information
1. IT’S COMING HOME
SCHEHERAZADE, SARAH and SARA sit in a waiting room. SARA is busy working on a laptop. SARAH starts humming the tune to ‘Three Lions (Football’s Coming Home)’ quietly.
SARA looks at her. She stops.
SARA gets back to work.
SCHEHERAZADE starts her own (punk version) of the song.
2. THE RIGHT TO BRITISH LIFE
(INTERVIEWER should be played by whoever plays SARAH.)
INTERVIEWER enters the space with a cup of tea. The cup may have a punk/Sex Pistols motif, although she should not be aware of this.
She looks at her computer.
She reaches for a tannoy system.
She struggles to pronounce SCHEHERAZADE’s name.
‘Scke – Scke – Scko – Scke-ho’
SCHEHERAZADE knows immediately she means her. She gets up and enters the interview room.
INTER: Hi.
INTERVIEWER gestures to SCHEHERAZADE to sit down. She does so.
INTER: Can you confirm your name?
SCHEH: I can’t spell it.
INTER: …
SCHEH: My name.
I can only spell it if I write it down. I can’t spell it for you out loud.
It’s got two h’s and like loads of a’s and e’s.
INTER: But what is it?
SCHEH: Oh.
Scheherazade.
Bad name to give to a dyslexic.
INTER: Have you got proof of ID?
SCHEH: It’s Persian.
INTER: Passport, driver’s licence?
SCHEH: From the story, One Thousand And One Nights. She told stories all night long to stop from getting her head chopped off.
Beat.
INTER: I’m going to need proof of ID.
SCHEHERAZADE looks for her passport. It’s not in her pocket.
SCHEH: It smells a bit funny. I’ve been keeping it in the bread bin.
INTERVIEWER turns to her computer.
INTER: While you find that, I’ll do my little bit. Legal requirement, don’t worry if you don’t catch it all.
I will need that passport though.
INTERVIEWER takes a breath and launches into her spiel, reading off her computer. Meanwhile, SCHEHERAZADE looks for her bag by her feet. It is not there.
INTER: This assessment is not about demonizing or punishing anyone it is a fact-finding exercise on the part of Her Majesty’s Government to determine your entitlements to state benefits and publically funded services such as the health service as per statute number seven-oh-two-one ‘The Right to British Life’.
SCHEH: I don’t / know where my bag is
SCHEHERAZADE bends over to look for her bag under the INTERVIEWER’s desk.
INTER: You can choose to appeal the outcome but please be advised that all decisions are taken carefully and in consultation (details are on the website).
You need these.
INTERVIEWER looks up from her screen for SCHEHERAZADE so she can pass her a load of leaflets, but she is not where she expects her to be.
INTER: Hello?
SCHEHARAZADE sits up again. INTERVIEWER hands over the leaflets.
During the next section SCHEHERAZADE surreptitiously disappears under the desk completely.
INTER: You can choose not to answer any of the questions given in this interview but please note that not answering will be considered an answer in itself and may affect the final decision taken, all interviews will be recorded for quality control and may be used against you – sorry all interviews will be recorded for quality control and may be accessed by you according to the terms of the Data Protection Act –
What are you doing?
SCHEH: (Still under the desk.) My bag. I’m sure I brought it with me but it’s not here.
INTER: You need to stay on your side of the desk!
SCHEHERAZADE sits down again.
INTER: Preferably on your chair.
INTERVIEWER takes a sip of tea.
INTER: Shit — hot!
All participants who have been called to interview will be asked to complete Sections A and B. Section C is reserved for those with one or more parents of non-British heritage who earn below a minimum income threshold. Section D is reserved for those who enter the pre-criminal space, is administered by immigration officials and carries a maximum penalty of deportation.
You will ne...
Table of contents
- Cover
- Acknowledgements
- Half-title Page
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Contents
- Characters
- 1. It’s Coming Home