Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Rebecca Crookshank

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN: 9781783197200
• eBook ISBN: 9781783197217
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

'Happy 17th Birthday Crookshank, how 'bout a cup of SUCK IT THE F K UP?!' With over 4 million views on Channel 4 News online and a critically acclaimed run at the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, multi-award nominated Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is based on the true story of ex-Airwoman Crookshank and her time serving in the Royal Air Force protecting the UK Air Defence Region. Charting her journey from basic training to the Falkland Islands. She celebrates friendship, awakens her creativity, and uncovers the dark truths about sexual harassment and bullying in the armed forces. A heart-warming tale of courage and survival. Per ardua ad astra – through adversity to the stars… Warning: Contains strong language, weapons, and penguins.

ROYAL AIR FORCE RANK STRUCTURE

NON-COMMISSIONED RANKS

(From low to high)

Aircraftman/woman (AC/ACW)

Leading Aircraftman/woman (LAC/LACW)

Senior Aircraftman/Woman/Technician (SAC/SACW/ SAC TECH)

Junior Technician (Jnr Tech)

Corporal (Cpl)

Sergeant (Sgt)

Chief Technician (Chf Tech)

Flight Sergeant (FS)

Warrant Officer (WO)

COMMISSIONED RANKS – OFFICERS

Pilot Officer (Plt Off)

Flying Officer (Fg Off)

Flight Lieutenant (Flt Lt)

Squadron Leader (Sqn Ldr)

Wing Commander (Wg Cdr)

Group Captain (Gp Capt)

Air Commodore (Air Cdre)

Air Vice-Marshal (AVM)

Air Marshal (Air Mshl)

Air Chief Marshal (Air Chf Mshl)

Marshal of the Royal Air Force (MRAF)

Key

*	For arms drill. After each command the relevant arms drill is performed by the actor.

Rebecca’s original basic training notes detailing the NATO phonetic alphabet. The ‘P’ is missing (P = PAPA).

REBECCA/CROOKSHANK shifts throughout the play as herself (now REBECCA) and then CROOKSHANK. Narrating the story from the past and present. Dressed in green overalls, a NO.1 WRAF hat, she greets the audience as CPL BUNTING, a Royal Air Force drill and training instructor from Scotland. She directs the audience to their seats as if new recruits on their first day of training. Underscored by military music from the band of the Royal Air Force. As the audience become more settled the actor improvises until clearance is given.

CPL BUNTING: Welcome to RAF Halton. Teach. Learn. Apply.

CROOKSHANK takes off CPL BUNTING’s hat introduces herself in the present and sets up her story.

REBECCA: That’s Corporal Bunting, you’ll see more of her later. Hi, I’m Rebecca. I used to be in the Royal Air Force, a trained killer … (She makes eyes at the audience.) People often don’t believe me so I decided to make a show about it. I’m thirty-five, I’m a woman and I like to spread my wings. My teachers at school used to say ‘Rebecca has a tendency to fantasize’ I left as soon as I could. Welcome to my show. Let’s set the scene. (Sounds of tornados on the runway.) It’s 1997. The death of Princess Diana. The dawn of a new era (‘Things can only get better’ by D:REAM is played, she grooves a bit), remember that? I wasn’t even old enough to vote. But I was old enough to join the Royal Air Force. And this ladies and gentleman is my story.

CROOKSHANK picks up her kit bag and arranges props. Original footage of aircraft is projected onto a large radar screen hanging stage left as an original video clip is played. ‘Back in the dark days’.

PROJECTION CLIP: RAF HALTON. (V.O.) Back in the dark days of the early 1940s the skies over Britain droned with the sound of aircraft in combat. So vital was the path that the Royal Air Force played in the Battle of Britain it inspired the then Prime Minister Winston Churchill to make his immortal speech ‘Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few’. That proud tradition remains strong to the present day for the Royal Air Force is second to none. Since September 1993 the training wing of the Royal Air Force has been located at RAF Halton in the county of Buckinghamshire, and it is to here, that the many young men and women come to undertake a seven week intensive training course, to become proud members of the Royal Air Force.

We meet CROOKSHANK the enthusiastic new recruit.

CROOKSHANK: Here I am, Rebecca Jane Crookshank, now H8308183 or just Crookshank or 183 depending on what mood the Corporal’s in. I left Plymouth civvie street and train station at 0700 hours with a stinking hangover and awkward farewells from my parents. My Mum and Dad are not talking, zero chat, they’re getting a divorce. Mum’s been crying (as her Mum) ‘of course I’m proud of you, I just thought you wanted to do something more creative, more feminine you’re so young, my little girl’. Dad, an ex-Royal Marine was the opposite, (as her Dad) ‘she’s old enough to make her own choices, I was sixteen when I joined and only 7.5 stone’. I’ll miss them all of course especially my little brother Tom, he looked proper sad waving me off at the station, so I gave him some pocket money to buy himself a pasty, (she gestures as if speaking down to her little brother, wagging her finger) a Devon pasty not a Cornish one.

REBECCA: I looked a bit like a pasty, I’d squeezed so much inside my suitcase that I had to wear all my coats at once. It was a challenge choosing what to leave behind.

CROOKSHANK: I really want to join the Royal Marines. Be just like my Dad and my Grandad but I can’t because I’m a girl. (Gesturing to her body.)

So the RAF it is, I’ve no fear of flying and my Dad said the food is top notch (as her Dad) ‘the food is top notch’.

REBECCA: To be honest my choice of service and trade was inspired by the pictures of WRAFs in WW2.

PROJECTION CLIP: ‘PLOTTERS’. Clips of original 1940’s female ‘plotters’ are projected onto the radar screen. She gestures to them.

Aren’t they glamorous? Here they are moving the positions of aircraft on maps with long sticks; ‘plotters’. Now Aerospace System Operators, my trade of choice.

CROOKSHANK: While all my friends have gone back to school, here I am. (Sounds of marching on the camp.) The camp is like a massive estate. (She daydreams and takes it all in, playing out the movie in her mind.) This huge building is called the Officers’ Mess, we aren’t allowed in there. (She points to the officers’ mess.)

REBECCA: It was like a grand country estate, a bit like Downton Abbey. Bursting with pride, pomp and circumstance.

CROOKSHANK: The grass airfield is used mainly by light aircraft-gliders, microlights, that sort of thing and the RAF hot air balloon. No time for gliding, I have to get my march on, seven weeks of basic training here I come.

Sound of a bugle. CROOKSHANK puts on the number one hat adopts a Scottish accent for CPL BUNTING.

CPL BUNTING: Ladies, welcome to RAF Halton, ‘Teach, Learn, Apply’. My name is Cpl Bunting and I will be your drill and training NCO-non-commissioned officer. We will be training you lanky streaks of piss to the highest standard.

If you survive you will contribute to the UK’s Defence Strategy both at home and abroad. With equal pay to boot, and ladies let me tell you that’s not always been the case.

You will be constantly on the move from medical checks, jabs in the arm, jabs in the arse, haircuts, sit ups, press ups, rope climbs, bleep tests, bulling, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning and no sleep. You will learn how to salute, who to salute and when to ‘shut the fuck’ up. Which will be most of the time.

The great escape, that’s what you wanted isn’t it? Wave good bye to your Mummies and Daddies, you’re part of a new family now, watch your step and shake your shite.

By the left, quick march.

She watches the female troop march towards their accommodation.

HALT. Crookshank. Do you want me to wipe that smile off your face? Get down and give me twenty. (Beat.) Women’s press ups Crookshank. On your knees.

OK. Ladies, when I demand press ups you get to your knees, understand. Women are not capable of men’s press ups. RAF regs. Men on top as they say.

SOUND CLIP: CROOKSHANK places the hat onto the storage box stage right. She exhausts herself throughout a training montage to music from Top Gun, ‘Danger zone’.

CROOKSHANK: One week in and I’ve got pecs already. Does that make me unfeminine?

REBECCA: Now I would probably instagram selfies with pride, hashtag fit, hashtag protein shakes, hashtag pecs. I felt muscular, invincible; I thought I was actually in Top Gun. (Beat.)

CROOKSHANK: I’ve learnt the NATO phonetic alphabet from Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, to X-ray, Yankee, Zulu. All the non-commissioned ranks, from Aircraftwoman to Warrant Officer, how to iron and starch. Skills for life.

(She moves to her imagined bed space.)

Welcome to my bed space. Here’s my bed and my one drawer full of cards and pictures.

REBECCA: You weren’t allowed anything on display. But where I could, I would find a space for a spot of ‘becceration’.

She moves to CHERYL’s bed space.

CROOKSHANK: I’ve met some really nice people already. Oh my God there’s this one girl, (as CHERYL who is from Newcastle) ‘Cheryl Baker’ she’s a trekkie and she actually speaks Klingon. S...

Table of contents

• Cover
• A note from the writer
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• Characters
• ROYAL AIR FORCE RANK STRUCTURE