Torben Betts: Plays One

Torben Betts

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2016
• Print ISBN: 9781840021769
• eBook ISBN: 9781783197941
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Three pitch-black comedies from an exciting new writer: A Listening Heaven, Mummies and Daddies and Clockwatching A Listening Heaven, which focuses on one family's painful inability to grieve for a dead son, was first produced in 1999 to critical acclaim at the Stephen Joseph Theatre in Scarborough, where Betts was the resident dramatist. Mummies and Daddies, developed at the RNT Studio, brutally yet hilariously lays bare the soullessness of consumerism. In Clockwatching, produced at both the SJT and the Orange Tree Theatre in 2001, a despotic man descends into helplessness when his servile wife falls seriously ill. With an introduction by Connal Orton.

MUMMIES AND DADDIES

Characters

GEMMA

30 years old. Well-spoken graduate. An attractive woman but her face wears a permanent frown

BRUCE

30 years old. Well-spoken graduate. Tall, well-built, good-looking but now slightly running to fat. Rugby-playing public schoolboy. Gemma’s boyfriend

DAWN

30 years old. Well-spoken graduate. Attractive but rather overweight. She is a blend of both nervousness and sarcasm. Has a whole array of funny voices. She is interested in Eastern religion. An asthmatic

KATYA

24 years old. Polish. She is beautiful and has a purity about her but makes little effort with her clothes and hair. She seems unaware of the power her physical appearance exerts over both sexes

MARTYN

30 years old. Very well-spoken graduate. Katya’s husband. He is bespectacled, wirey, short of stature. Apologises for his own existence somewhat. A little bewildered by it all

VOICES

an Asian family live next door and we hear the voices of the father and the children at various stages throughout the play

Mummies and Daddies was first performed as a rehearsed reading at The Royal National Theatre Studio on 4 August 1999, with the following cast:

GEMMA, Abigail Cruttenden

BRUCE, Eoin McCarthy

DAWN, Rosie Cavaliero

KATYA, Olga Sosnovska

MARTYN, Tom Smith

VOICES (+ stage directions), Anil Desai

Director, Sacha Wares

Act One, Scene One, a Friday evening in August Scene Two, later that night

Act Two, Scene One, the early hours of Saturday Scene Two, later that morning

Time: the final summer of the 20th century
Place: Bruce and Gemma’s house in Hackney, London

ACT ONE

Scene 1

Music as introduction: ‘Communication’ – the 1980s smash from Spandau Ballet.

The stage comprises two areas: the living room and the patio of BRUCE and GEMMA’s large Victorian house in Hackney, London. We see this as a cross section separated by a wall in the centre of which is a sliding window. The couple evidently have money. The house’s original features have been replaced by a minimalism which lacks warmth. The living room is dominated by a large sofa and armchair (TV on stand facing it, with its back to us) and the few bookshelves are filled with CDs rather than books. An expensive CD stacking system. Shiny wooden floorboards, white walls and modern art. A spiral staircase, in the same style, winds up to the next level which we do not see. In fact, we only ever see the legs and feet of those using it. An open doorway by the staircase leads off to the rest of the house and the front door. The patio area is made up of concrete slabs, only half of which are laid. There are bags of soil and sand, a spade, a wheelbarrow etc. leaning up against a wooden fence which runs off into the garden. We can see the overgrown grass of this end of it creeping onto the patio. There is a table, numerous camping chairs, a deck chair, a large Asian beanbag and a barbecue. It is about 7.30 pm on a beautiful August evening. We hear the first lines and then BRUCE, a string of sausages wrapped around his neck, comes into the living room and makes for the barbecue area. He is wearing a rugby top, cut-off jeans, sandals and sunglasses. He is hotly pursued by GEMMA, who wears a simple white dress.

GEMMA: (Off.) Why are you always walking away from me? Will you please stop walking away from me when we’re having a discussion?

BRUCE: (Entering.) We’re not having a discussion.

GEMMA: (Entering.) What are we having then?

BRUCE: (Laughing.) I’m having a barbecue. I don’t know what you’re having.

GEMMA: Bruce! Will you please stand still for a second! (BRUCE freezes in a ludicrous pose, counts for a few seconds and then resumes.)

For God’s sake!

BRUCE: You’re getting all high-pitched, my darling.

GEMMA: I am not getting high-pitched!

BRUCE: (Laughing.) We’ll have all those dogs come barking round again.

GEMMA: Are you listening to me?

BRUCE: Look at this sausage!

GEMMA: Bruce!

BRUCE: Doesn’t look right, does it?

GEMMA: We are in the middle of a discussion!

BRUCE: Darling, read my lips: when house prices go up again, we’ll think about selling but before that…waste of time. (He now busies himself with setting up the barbecue.)

GEMMA: I wasn’t even talking about moving!

BRUCE: You’re always talking about moving.

GEMMA: I am not!

B...

Table of contents

• Front Cover
• Half-Title Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Contents
• Introduction
• A Listening Heaven
• Mummies and Daddies
• Clockwatching