The Taming of the Shrew (Propeller Shakespeare)

Propeller Shakespeare

William Shakespeare, Edward Hall, Roger Warren, Edward Hall, Roger Warren

• Publisher: Oberon Books
• Year: 2013
• ISBN:
  9781849436755
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

In The Taming Of The Shrew two, disguised, competing suitors clamour for the hand of beautiful Bianca whilst gold-digging Petruchio agrees to wed her viciously ill-tempered sister Kate sight-unseen. The difference between marrying for love and marrying for money, however, becomes increasingly difficult to judge. This brash, brutal and darkly comic story pulls no punches.

Characters

CHRISTOPHER SLY

LUCENTIO, a young gentleman of Pisa

TRANIO, his servant

BAPTISTA, a wealthy gentleman of Padua

KATHERINE, his elder daughter

BIANCA, his younger daughter

BIONDELLO, Lucentio’s servant

PETRUCHIO, from Verona

A PEDANT

A TAILOR

VINCENTIO, Lucentio’s father

A WIDOW

SCENE ONE

	On stage: a three-tiered wedding cake, removed as the action begins; three large mirror-fronted wardrobes, through which entrances and exits can be made; above, a chandelier.
	A wedding is in preparation. The guests (including the audience) gather. The Order of Service, issued to the audience as they enter the theatre, names the groom Christopher Sly, the bride Katherine Minola. But there is no bridegroom. The others wait impatiently. When SLY eventually arrives, he is very drunk.

	Music: ‘Thou all my bliss’.
BEST MAN	Heaven cease this idle humour you indulge.
(Later to play HORTENSIO.)
	O that a mighty man of such descent Should be infusèd with so foul a spirit. Are you not Christopher Sly, Old Sly’s son of Burton Heath?
SLY	Ay, by birth a pedlar And now by present profession a tinker.
BEST MAN	Let the world slide.

SLY	Well you are come to me in happy time.
	The BEST MAN gives SLY the wedding ring.
	Sessa!
	Music: ‘Here comes the bride’. FATHER leads on the BRIDE. SLY collapses, drunk. Exit the BRIDE in tears.
BRIDE’S FATHER You whoreson drunken slave! (He kicks SLY.) (Later to play BAPTISTA.)
VICAR	What, is he dead?
FATHER	Or drunk?
VICAR	See doth he breathe?
1 GUEST	He scarcely breathes. Were he not warmed with ale This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.
FATHER	O monstrous beast, how like a swine he lies. Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image. He had best be gone and empty his drunken paunch For in my house he shall not rest tonight. Away!
2 GUEST	Sir, let us practise on this drunken man. What think you: if he were conveyed to bed, Wrapped in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers, A most delicious banquet by his bed, And brave attendants near him when he wakes, Would not the beggar then forget himself?
1 GUEST	Believe me sir, I think he cannot choose.
FATHER	It will seem strange unto him when he wakes.
2 GUEST	Even as a flatt’ring dream or worthless fancy.
3 GUEST	Procure me music ready when he wakes To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound,
1 GUEST	And if he chance to speak be ready straight And with a low submissive reverence Say ‘What is it your honour will command?’
4 GUEST	Let one attend him with a silver basin.
PAGE	Full of rose-water and bestrewed with flowers;
5 GUEST	Another bear the ewer,
6 GUEST	The third a diaper.
7 GUEST	And say ‘Will’t please your lordship cool your hands?’
2 GUEST	Persuade him that he hath been lunatic, And when he says he’s Sly, say that he dreams, It will be pastime passing excellent.
FATHER	Carry him gently to my dressing chamber And hang it round with all my wanton pictures. Balm his foul head in warm distillèd waters, And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet. (To the PAGE.) Sirrah, dress you in all suits like a lady, And call him ‘husband’. I know you will well usurp the grace, Voice, gait and action of a gentlewoman. See this dispatched with all the haste you can. Exit PAGE. Take him up gently, and to bed with him; And see you manage well the jest. Exeunt.

SCENE TWO

	The wedding guests play the ‘servants’.
	They dress SLY in a nightshirt.
SLY	For God’s sake a pot of small ale!
1 GUEST	Will’t please your lordship drink a glass of wine?
2 GUEST	Will’t please your honour taste of these conserves?
3 GUEST	What raiment will your honour wear today?
SLY	I am Christopher Sly. Call not me ‘honour’ nor ‘lordship’. I ne’er drank wine in my life, and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne’er ask me what raiment I’ll wear, for I have no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet – nay, sometime more feet than shoes.
3 GUEST	Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck.
SLY	A pair of stocks, you rogue.
3 GUEST	O this is it that makes your servants droop. Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
2 GUEST	O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth. Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.
4 GU...