The Life of Prayer

Mind, Body, and Soul

Allan Hugh Cole Jr.

• Publisher: Westminster John Knox Press
• Year: 2009
• ISBN:
  9781611641868
• Topic: Théologie et religion
• Subtopic: Religion

Allan Cole Jr. offers insights on the topic of prayer, explaining prayer and describing its spiritual and physical effects. This book is for those who are not comfortable with prayer or who have reached an impasse in their prayer lives. Cole demonstrates different kinds of prayer, helps the reader find ways to pray in various situations, and provides sample prayers. The volume includes questions for reflection at the end of each chapter.

Chapter 1

WHAT IS PRAYER?

By day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.

Psalm 42:8

People sometimes struggle with prayer. Difficulties with prayer can lead to their feeling perplexed, if not discouraged, about prayer’s value and meaning, and it can also lead to an irregular or nonexistent prayer life. Even if they affirm the importance of prayer for the Christian faith and engage to some degree in a practice of praying, they may also feel uncertain, disappointed, or both when it comes to their prayer lives.

Those who struggle with prayer communicate their labors in different ways. They say things such as

“I’m not exactly sure what prayer is. I want to pray. I feel like I should pray. It would probably strengthen my faith and make my life better. But I don’t really know what it means to pray. I don’t know what it’s all about.”

“I feel guilty that I don’t pray more often, and that I don’t pray better. But I don’t think I’m good at praying, so I guess I don’t do it very much. I make plans to start praying. Sometimes I try it for a few days. Then I always give up. Sometimes I begin to feel scared to try to pray because I don’t do it right.”

“I don’t sense that anything happens when I pray. I’m not sure that anything happens when anyone prays! But I do still think about praying. I think about it a lot.”

“When I see others praying, and I hear how meaningful it is for them, I think to myself, ‘I want that too.’ But sometimes, even when I’m praying pretty faithfully, I still think I’m missing something because mine’s not like theirs.’”

“Does it count as prayer if you pray in the car, or at work, or in bed? Or is it only right when you pray in church? I’m curious. What are the rules?”

“I want to pray, but I don’t do it because I’ve done some pretty awful things that I’m ashamed of. I don’t deserve to ask God for anything.”

Do any of these of these comments or questions echo what you might say about prayer? Are you curious about it? Do you feel that you want to pray, that it’s an important thing to do, and that it would enrich your life and faith, but that you don’t know what it involves or how to go about it? When you’ve tried to pray, have you quickly given up because you felt as though you did it incorrectly or too simplistically, or because you thought that praying made no difference? Have you wondered about the benefits of prayer—whether it makes any difference? How about groups of people praying together? Do you ever struggle with how that works, or wonder if it does? Or have you opted not to pray because you feel unworthy or too “sinful”? Do you ever find yourself wanting to follow the biblical wisdom of praying “in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication” (Eph. 6:18), but you doubt that you could do this and question how you would even begin to try? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then keep reading. This book is for you.

This book examines what prayer is and what it does. It considers questions of what motivates prayer, including why you feel the need to pray even when you think that you don’t know how to go about it. It also takes a close look at some of the effects of prayer, helping to deepen your awareness and understanding of what happens when you pray. With these concerns for motivations and effects in mind, this book also suggests ways for learning how to pray, by yourself and with others, so that prayer becomes a more central part of your life.

WHAT HAPPENS IN PRAYER?

Several things happen when we pray. We offer God praise and gratitude, thanking God for who God is and for what God offers in Christ. We also call on and commune with God, presenting our needs, fears, desires, and questions along with our gratitude, joys, and offers of praise. In doing so, we summon God’s presence and care. Furthermore, in prayer we receive from God the effects of faith. These include healing, guidance, sustenance, and a sense of hope, meaning, and purpose in our lives. Most important, prayer encourages faithfulness to God and God’s purposes. In prayer we offer devotion to God, responding faithfully to God’s grace and claim on us in Christ. Through prayer we also join with God to participate in divine purposes—for ourselves, our neighbors, and the world. Furthermore, Christian understandings of prayer include the belief that praying has an effect on God. Prayer influences how God interacts with the created order, which includes how God interacts with us.

But prayer also has an influence on the one who prays. The nineteenth-century theologian Søren Kierkegaard urged that we look mainly not on how prayer changes God but on how it changes us, for herein we find its utmost power and value. As I will point out, prayer can have a significant effect on those who pray. Foremost, prayer helps you become more aware of God, of God’s presence in your own life and in the lives of others, and of God’s activity in the world. Praying helps you see yourself, others, and the world around you more as Jesus did, so that you, like him, may live more fully aware of God’s desires for all of creation. Another way of thinking about it is that as you pray, you become more conformed to Christ and thus to God’s will and ways. Prayer thus lies at the heart of living as Christ’s people and of living more meaningful, faithful, and whole lives. As Christians we all benefit from a greater understanding of prayer and from learning how to do it.

THE CHIEF EXERCISE OF FAITH

John Calvin, a sixteenth-century pastor and theologian, recognized the significance of prayer for the Christian life. He called prayer “the chief exercise of faith.” This book encourages you to learn more about this “exercise” and to engage in it on a regular basis. “Exercising your faith” actually has two connotations. The first suggests that faith must be carried out or implemented. It must be intentionally engaged, performed, or put into effect. For faith to make any difference to God or have a bearing on your life, it requires your enactment and effort. You exercise your faith like you exercise the privilege to vote in a free society, exercise the right to free speech, exercise a clause in an employment contract, or exercise stock options that you have been awarded. To pray involves exercising your faith in this sense.

The second connotation of “exercising your faith” suggests efforts to enhance form, fitness, or vitality. In this sense, to exercise faith means to train in it or practice at it, to work out or otherwise prepare for improving your performance as one who follows Jesus. Like the athlete who trains for a sporting event, the pianist who practices for a recital, or the singer who works out her voice to get ready for a concert, the Christian prays in order to live (perform) more vitally (faithfully) in accordance with God’s claim and purpose through Christ. This book encourages you to exercise your faith in both senses of the term. I want you to perform your faith and to enhance its vitality by learning more about prayer and by becoming increasingly dedicated to practicing it.

WHY THIS BOOK?

This book offers an alternative to two approaches to prayer currently in fashion. Let’s call the first approach “New Thought” spirituality. It often prefers the practice of “meditation” over prayer, drawing on insights taken from numerous world religions, an eclectic group of philosophies, and various practices relating to both religious and nonreligious interests. While not necessarily harmful or destructive, some of these insights seem foreign to Christianity if not altogether incompatible with its basic beliefs. Examples of popular “New Thought” devotees include Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and Marianne Williamson.

The other approach takes as its basis what I would describe as principles for “health and wealth,” “success,” or what one could call “the gospel of prosperity.” It is often employed by popular televangelists, and well-known devotees of this approach include Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, and Robert Schuller. Though emphasizing different aspects of Christian faith and life, each espouses prayer and the life of faith itself largely as means for achieving happiness, wealth, professional success, health, and the admiration of other people. In this approach, the principal virtues of prayer follow from its ability to give us what we might most want in life, so long as we pray often enough and do it the correct way.

For many mainstream Christians, both the “New Thought” and “prosperity gospel” approaches leave much to be desired. The alternative approach to prayer suggested in this book has its basis in classical biblical and theological points of view while also drawing insights from psychology. This approach is more suggestive than prescriptive and seeks merely to provide some guideposts for your faith journey. You will discern yourself how best to pray as you pray and as you draw from riches in your own faith tradition (if you are part of one). I simply want to encourage you to practice prayer more intentionally, thoughtfully, and regularly, and to suggest ways to do this. I also urge that you consider doing so not merely by yourself but also with others in a praying community, so that prayer becomes for you the chief exercise of faith and one that helps you pray for keeps.

A PRAYER FOR YOU TO PRAY

(Prepare yourself to pray by getting yourself still, taking a few breaths, and opening yourself up to God.)

O God, among your greatest gifts is the gift of prayer. You invite us to pray, and we can trust that you will help us do so. I want to learn more about prayer. I also want to learn how to pray. Give me patience, interest, and trust as I seek a more prayerful life. I ask these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Chapter 2

WHY DO WE PRAY?

I love the LORD, because he has heard

my voice and my supplications.

Because he has inclined his ear to me,

therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

Psalm 116:1–2

I have known some prayerful people. A few have been like “Sarah,” a church member and one of those people who just looked prayerful. She seemed to approach life as if it were an ongoing prayer to be lived out. Exuding peacefulness, gratitude, gentleness, and hope, hers was a noticeably “God-centered” way of living. Sarah demonstrated a firm commitment to following Jesus with confidence balanced by humility and passion steadied by calm. She also had ways of reminding you of the beauty of life and all of God’s creation, and she was quick to note how much you miss out on if you begin to take life for granted. Not only this, but Sarah also appreciated life’s mysteries, pointing our how they sometimes challenge one’s faith and ability to trust. Observing her usually helped others face challenges of their own.

Sarah also could pray with the best of them. When she said a prayer at a potluck supper, when she opened the Bible study that she led with prayer, or when she visited someone who was in the hospital or homebound, it always had the same effect. No one doubted that God was listening. In truth, it was as if God could be seen standing there with her.

Sarah’s life had its own share of difficulties. As a matter of fact, she experienced enormous pain with the loss of an adult child. Her marriage also had its own series of disappointments. So nothing about Sarah came across as naive or superficial. Nor did anyone seem to think of her as “holier than thou” or as one who was entirely “saintly.” Most saw her as a prayerful woman who took her faith seriously and enjoyed a deeply felt connection to God, but also as one who was rather ordinary in most ways and certainly down-to-earth. One thing is indisputable: Sarah drew others to herself, and many people wanted what she had in the way of faith, her special appreciation for life, her depth of compassion, and surely her capacity for praying.

Some other prayerful people I have known, and probably most of them, have been more like “Nelson.” Nelson struggled with prayer, and he made no bones about it. Sometimes he would tell you this outright. He’d say things like “Pastor, I’m trying to pray, and trying really hard, but it’s just not working.” Or he’d say something like “Make sure you pray for me because I’m not doing a good job of it myself.” He was also known to say of himself, “I’m more of a working Christian than a praying one,” which gave further indication of his difficulty with praying. One time in a meeting that he was chairing, he opened with a prayer that went something like this: “Dear God, you have brought us here to do your work. I’m not sure what to pray for, and I really don’t feel much like praying. I think others here may feel the same way. But we are here, and we trust that you are, too. So we pray for your guidance and help. Amen.” For Nelson, rarely did praying come easy.

Despite his noted struggles with prayer, however, Nelson was thought of by many in the congregation, including his pastor, as a prayerful man. It’s true that he didn’t speak all that eloquently in prayer. He seemed simply to cut to the chase when addressing God. Nor did he seem to live as peacefully or gently as some others—such as people like Sarah. Nor would anyone have accused him of routinely looking at life with a “glass half full” perspective. Actually, he could be downright ornery at times and could be a bit of a curmudgeon, and he wasn’t afraid to look you in the eye and tell you what was on his mind.

Nevertheless, when in his presence you got the sense that Nelson, like Sarah, lived closely connected to God and had a firm commitment to follow Jesus. He routinely demonstrated God’s love and the deep trust that comes with faith, but he did so more in his actions than in his words. And when he wrestled with God, his faith, and the church, which he wasn’t afraid to do publicly, never did he seem to waver in his resolve to “stick with God” (as he put it) and to trust that to work out well. Consequently, as was true with Sarah, many who knew Nelson admired him and appreciated what his prayerful life involved.

PEOPLE OF FAITH PRAY … DIFFERENTLY

Regardless of whether you identify more with Sarah or with Nelson, their examples are instructive. People of faith pray, but they pray differently and with varying degrees of eloquence and confidence. Some people will pray in a manner that seems natural and more or less effortless, as if God was right there with them. Others will grapple for words to utter, will lack certainty that much happens when they pray, and may give off little in the way of sacred presence. Moreover, with different approaches to prayerful living come different personalities, temperaments, and varied relationships and ways of seeing the world, as was true for Sarah and Nelson. Even so, regardless of how their faith takes shape, those who seek a life tethered to God need to engage in acts of prayer, even when doing so proves challenging.

Perhaps this has always been the case. The Bible recounts the ancient Israelites praying on a regular basis and coveting the endless prayers of one another.¹ Moreover, Jesus practiced prayer himself.² He also called on his followers to pray and instructed them in how to do it.³ We know, too, that after Jesus’ death and resurrection his followers continued to pray and placed prayer at the center of their common life.⁴ These scriptural accounts indicate that prayer takes individual and communal forms and expressions. We will consider several of these forms and expressions later in the book. Most important, the Bible’s attention to prayer suggests that it holds an essential place in the life of faith. People of faith pray.

ESSENTIALNESS OF PRAYER

But why is prayer essential? Why do people as seemingly different as Sarah and Nelson need to pray? Furthermore, what makes prayer so significant that Jesus practiced it regularly, commended it to those who followed him, and offered numerous examples to guide us? We find answers to these questions in part by focusing on the role that prayer plays in fostering particular traits and activities connected to a faithful and fulfilling Christian life. To put it in a different way, we understand the significance of prayer as we consider matters of Christian discipleship.

In chapter 3, we look at discipleship—that is, following Jesus—with an eye toward several “benefits” of prayer, keeping in mind the psalmist’s wisdom that we must never “forget all of [God’s] benefits” (Ps. 103:2). But first, in this chapter, we consider discipleship in terms of what motivates us to pray as people of faith. We ask, What leads us to pray and to seek after prayer’s benefits? We explore this question of motivation in terms of what God does for us. God always takes the lead in the relationship that we enjoy with God. Therefore, any consideration of prayer, including why we do it, begins appropriately with a focus on God and what God does. But then the focus shifts to us and to what we do. This focus also receives our attention in chapter 3, where we not only consider the effects of prayer but also suggest what we may do in response to God—how we may live as praying disciples of Jesus. In other words, not only do we consider the benefits of prayer, but we also reflect on how we may act precisely because God has acted first to invite us into relationship and offered us these benefits. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Initially, we need to attend to what motivates us to pray, which always begins with God and God’s efforts on our behalf.

I suggest three primary reasons for prayer. First, we pray because God acts graciously towa...