ACT TWO
PATRON OF THE TARTS
Ragueneauâs cook and pastry shop in the grey dawn. A large, bustling kitchen/store at the corner of the Rue du ThĂ©Ăątre and the Rue de lâArbre Sec, somewhat worse for wear but bursting at the seams with the creativity of Ragueneauâs produce. Tables laden with rolls and dishes of food, some of them works of culinary art. Other tables surrounded with chairs/benches ready for consumers.
A small table in a corner is covered with papers, at which RAGUENEAU is seated, sleeping amidst his writings.
FIRST PASTRYCOOK enters, carrying an elaborate fancy dish.
FIRST PASTRYCOOK: Fruits in nougat!
SECOND PASTRYCOOK enters, carrying another dish.
SECOND PASTRYCOOK: Custard!
THIRD PASTRYCOOK enters, carrying a roast, decorated with feathers.
THIRD PASTRYCOOK: Peacock!
FOURTH PASTRYCOOK enters, carrying a batch of cakes on a slab.
FOURTH PASTRYCOOK: Tarts!
Entering, LISE throws a basin of water over her sleeping/writing husband.
LISE: Time to cook, not be a patron of the arts!
RAGUENEAU: [raising his headâfrank and despondent, oppressed]
Ah, the dawnâthat burns the dreams of hopeful men.
Takes us from inks and rhymes to sinks and grime and then,
Puts copper pans and flans in hands that could be writing.
Tomorrowâs ballads tossed in saladsâhow inviting!
He rises.
[To a PASTRYCOOK] Youâmake that sauce longer, itâs too short!
FIRST PASTRYCOOK: How much too short?
RAGUENEAU: [tasting] Three beats.
[To SECOND PASTRYCOOK, showing them some loaves] This clef is misplaced; balance the metaphor.
[To THIRD PASTRYCOOK, showing them an unfinished pastry] Put the comma here and see the difference?
[To FOURTH PASTRYCOOK] The caesura comes between the hemistichs!
[To LISE] Beautiful, isnât it?
LISE: Ridiculous.
She puts a pile of papers on the counter.
RAGUENEAU: Paper bags! Good. Thank you.
My Godâwomanâwhat have you done? This is poetry.
These are the poems of my friends! Torn, dismembered,
To make biscuit bags. These are manuscripts!
LISE: This indulgent crap was all we ever got
As payment from that good-for-nothing lot.
Why shouldnât I make use of it?
RAGUENEAU: By turning poetry to paper bags?!
LISE: [moving off to the kitchen] Yesâand profit.
RAGUENEAU: [screaming after her] My God! What would you do with prose?!
As LISE exits into the kitchen, she holds up a toilet roll made from his latest short story.
CYRANO: [bursting in, rapid pace to the exchanges] What time is it?
RAGUENEAU: Six oâclock.
CYRANO: One hour.
RAGUENEAU: I neglected to pay your dues last night? Bravo!
CYRANO: For what?
RAGUENEAU: The fight.
CYRANO: Which one?
RAGUENEAU: The duel in verse!
LISE: [returning] Iâm afraid that he can talk of nothing else!
CYRANO: Oh, ...