Inside/Outside

Six Short Plays

Sonali Bhattacharyya, Deborah Bruce, Zoe Cooper, Kalungi Ssebandeke, Joel Tan, Joe White

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2021
• ISBN:
  9781788503785
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

Six short plays exploring estrangement and loneliness, moving towards redemption and hope.

Inside looks at the lives of three women forgotten by the world, but not by themselves.

Outside presents three stories of finding connection in the darkness and coming together after so long apart.

This volume contains the following plays:

• Two Billion Beats by Sonali Bhattacharyya
• Guidesky and I by Deborah Bruce
• The Kiss by Zoe Cooper
• Prodigal by Kalungi Ssebandeke
• When the Daffodils by Joel Tan
• Ursa Major by Joe White

They were first performed and livestreamed from the Orange Tree Theatre, Richmond, in 2021.

Inside

Inside was first performed and livestreamed from the Orange Tree Theatre, Richmond, on 25 March 2021. The cast and creative team were as follows:

Guidesky and I DIANA

by Deborah Bruce Samantha Spiro

When the Daffodils MEG SAMIA

by Joel Tan Samantha Spiro Jessica Murrain

Ursa Major JAY CALLISTO

by Joe White Fisayo Akinade Sasha Winslow

Director Designer Lighting Designer Sound Designer & Composer Casting Company Stage Manager Stage Manager

Anna Himali Howard Shankho Chaudhuri Jessica Hung Han Yun Anna Clock Sarah Murray Jenny Skivens Caoimhe Regan

The Inside/Outside series of plays was curated by Guy Jones, Orange Tree Literary Associate

Guidesky and I

Deborah Bruce

Characters

DIANA, late fifties/early sixties

Young MAN

Older MAN

1.

DIANA has her coat on, a tote bag of piano sheet music over her shoulder, a large road atlas under her arm.
She’s holding a fan heater and a flattened blue cat cave.

DIANA.

Dear Guidesky125,

The cat cave has arrived.

This IS NOT what I ordered.

I ordered a heather-grey merino-wool cat cave and I have received a blue synthetic thing in two – flimsy parts – with a, shoddily attached zip joining the two parts together.

You need to send me a REFUND IMMEDIATELY

please.

Yours Sincerely,

Diana Harris Ms.

Pause.

When will they reply, do we think? How long do these things take?

Can you get a refund straight back into your bank account if you paid for something on PayPal?

Maybe I should send an email to PayPal.

Such an idiot.

Why can’t I do things.

DIANA wants to put the cat cave down but doesn’t know where to put it.

She remembers the fan heater.

Oh. Now. Does this work?

She is looking around for a plug socket, she finds one and plugs it in.

It blows heat at her and smells bad.

Yes it does.

She lets it fan-heat for a few moments to make sure.

Good.

She unplugs it, picks it up.

She’s flustered.

FAO Guidesky125

Hello.

This is Diana Harris again.
Just to amend my previous email.

I will also be taking this up with PayPal having looked at the comments on your website and realised that this is what you do! Take decent people’s money and send them something cheap and nasty when they ordered a – high quality product in good faith.
Goodness me!
What a – way to behave.
I wonder if you feel ashamed of yourself?

Pause.

I demand a refund.

Of the full amount you fraudulently took from me.

Immediately.

Yours Sincerely

Diana Harris. Ms.

Pause.

Should I leave some lights on, make the place look lived in?

I haven’t a clue when I’ll be back.

2.

DIANA is seated.

That’s six roadkill on the A3, mostly foxes, a badger.
Some poor thing that looks like a German shepherd but can’t be, surely.

It’s more trafficky than usual.

(Mock/playful shouting out.) Where are you all going?
You’re not supposed to be going anywhere!

They’re probably looking at me thinking the same!

Don’t worry! I’m only moving between my little flat in Chiswick and my mother’s house in Brookwood not seeing a single soul in between so don’t worry about me, I’m not spreading the virus.

I’m just going to jump out of the car when I get there run straight into the house lock the door behind me.

What about unloading the boot?
That can wait.

Not a single soul.

I have an underlying feeling of unease.

I used to sing along to songs!

(Sings out.) They say no no it won’t last forever!

(Quietly, to herself.) I just took a trip on my love for him.

Think of normal things. Stop imagining a dead cat.
Not Misty, a ginger one.
With its whiskers frayed, its claws snapped. There’s blood trickling out of its nose.
Hit by a car most probably.

Why am I thinking about that?
I don’t even know a ginger cat.

3.

DIANA is standing in her coat, holding several bags.

Well it looks the same.

No reason for it not to.

In you go then.

Here we are.

She stands without speaking for a while, looking round the space.

Dear me.
Piles and layers.
All covered in dust.

Should have brought some, there’ll be plenty here.
Dusters.
Dust pan and brush on the arm of the chair,
she’ll have been sweeping out the hearth.

She’ll have been kneeling down to sweep it.
You can get dizzy if you stand up too fast.

I’ve got my work cut out here then.
I’m going to be working my socks off with this lot.

Good thinking to bring the fan heater, it’s cold through to the brick.

She snaps into action, puts her bags down, takes off her scarf and coat.

Gillian’s daughter has overfed Misty. Biscuits under the rim of the plate – spilled out everywhere.
There’s a biscuit, all the way over there on the floor, by the sink.
She’s written a note – with her left hand it looks like.
‘Dianna’, double ‘N’, ‘If – something – let us know.’
I can’t read that.
I’ve forgotten my other glasses.
Damn.

Left useless on my bedside table, next to my pills, lit by the light seeping in from the hall – why did I leave the hall light on, who sits in the hall in their own home all night, no one. What a chump.
If someone breaks in I won’t be surprised. I’ll deserve it.

Well this Wi-Fi is bad and slow.

What if they’ve said something about the cat cave and I need to say something back?

T...