In These Dissenting Times
To acknowledge our ancestors means we are aware that we did not make ourselves, that the line stretches all the way back, perhaps, to God; or to Gods. We remember them because it is an easy thing to forget: that we are not the first to suffer, rebel, fight, love and die. The grace with which we embrace life, in spite of the pain, the sorrows, is always a measure of what has gone before.
âAlice Walker, âFundamental Differenceâ
IN THESE DISSENTING TIMES
I shall write of the old men I knew
And the young men
I loved
And of the gold toothed women
Mighty of arm
Who dragged us all
To church.
I
THE OLD MEN USED TO SING
The old men used to sing
And lifted a brother
Carefully
Out the door
I used to think they
Were born
Knowing how to
Gently swing
A casket
They shuffled softly
Eyes dry
More awkward
With the flowers
Than with the widow
After theyâd put the
Body in
And stood around waiting
In their
Brown suits.
II
WINKING AT A FUNERAL
Those were the days
Of winking at a
Funeral
Romance blossomed
In the pews
Love signaled
Through the
Hymns
What did we know?
Who smelled the flowers
Slowly fading
Knew the arsonist
Of the church?
III
WOMEN
They were women then
My mamaâs generation
Husky of voiceâStout of
Step
With fists as well as
Hands
How they battered down
Doors
And ironed
Starched white
Shirts
How they led
Armies
Headragged Generals
Across mined
Fields
Booby-trapped
Ditches
To discover books
Desks
A place for us
How they knew what we
Must know
Without knowing a page
Of it
Themselves.
IV
THREE DOLLARS CASH
Three dollars cash
For a pair of catalog shoes
Was what the midwife charged
My mama
For bringing me.
âWe wasnât so country then,â says Mom,
âYou being the last oneâ
And we couldnât, like
We done
When she brought your
Brother,
Send her out to the
Pen
And let her pick
Out
A pig.â
V
YOU HAD TO GO
TO FUNERALS
You had to go to funerals
Even if you didnât know the
People
Your Mama always did
Usually your Pa.
In new patent leather shoes
It wasnât so bad
And if it rained
The graves dropped open
And if the sun was shining
You could take some of the
Flowers home
In your pocket
book. At six and seven
The face in the gray box
Is always your daddyâs
Old schoolmate
Mowed down before his
Time.
You donât even ask
After a while
What makes them lie so
Awfully straight
And still. If thereâs a picture of
Jesus underneath
The coffin lid
You might, during a boring sermon,
Without shouting or anything,
Wonder who painted it;
And how he would like
All eternity to stare
It down.
VI
UNCLES
They had broken teeth
And billy club scars
But we didnât notice
Or mind
They were uncles.
It was their job
To come home every summer
From the North
And tell my father
He wasnât no man
And make my mother
Cry and long
For Denver, Jersey City,
Philadelphia.
They were uncles.
Who noticed how
Much
They drank
And acted womanish
With they do-rags
We were nieces.
And they were almost
Always good
For a nickel
Sometimes
a dime.
VII
THEY TAKE A LITTLE NIP
They take a little nip
Now and then
Do the old folks
Now theyâve moved to
Town
Youâll sometimes
See them sitting
Side by side
On the porch
Straightly
As in church
Or working diligently
Their small
City stand of
Greens
Serenely pulling
Stalks and branches
Up
Leaving all
The weeds.
VIII
SUNDAY SCHOOL, CIRCA 1950
âWho made you?â was always
The question
The answer was always
âGod.â
Well, there we stood
Three feet high
Heads bowed
Leaning into
Bosoms.
Now
I no longer recall
The Catechism
Or brood on the Genesis
Of life
No.
I ponder the exchange
Itself
And salvage mostly
The leaning.
Burial
I
They have fenced in the dirt road
that once led to Wards Chapel
A.M.E. church,
and cows graze
among the stones that
mark my familyâs graves.
The massive oak is gone
from out the church yard,
but the giant space is left
unfilled;
despite the two-lane blacktop
that slides across
the old, unalterable
roots.
II
Today I bring my own child here;
to this place where my fatherâs
grandmother rests undisturbed
beneath the Georgia sun,
above her the neatstepping hooves
of cattle.
Here the graves soon grow back into the land.
Have been known to sink. To drop open without
warning. To cover themselves with wild ivy,
blackberries. Bittersweet and sage.
No one knows why. No one asks.
When Burning Off Day comes, as it does
some years,
the graves are haphazardly cleared and snakes
hacked to death and burned sizzling
in the brush. ⌠The odor of smoke, oak
leaves, honeysuckle.
Forgetful of geographic resolutions as birds,
the farflung young fly South to bury
the old dead.
III
The old women move quietly up
and touch Sis Rachelâs face.
âTell Jesus Iâm coming,â they say.
âTell Him I ainât goinâ to be
long.â
My grandfather turns his creaking head
away from the lavender box.
He does not cry. But loo...