Dry Powder

A Play

Sarah Burgess

• Publisher: Grove Press
• Year: 2017
• ISBN:
  9780802189813
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: American Drama
• Index: Literature

"A vicious if coolly rendered comedy about ruthlessness and greed in the world of high finance... a writer with a gift for razor-sharp dialogue."— Vogue The same week his private equity firm forces massive layoffs at a national grocery chain, Rick throws himself an extravagant engagement party, setting off a publicity nightmare. Fortunately, Seth, one of Rick's partners, has a win-win deal to invest in an American-made luggage company for a song and rescue his boss from a PR disaster. But Jenny, Seth's counterpart, has an entirely different plan: to squeeze every last penny out of the company, no matter the consequences. The game is on in Sarah Burgess' gripping, razor-sharp new play about the price of success and the real cost of getting the deal done. Dry Powder was originally performed in March 2016 at Public Theater in New York, helmed by Hamilton director Thomas Kail and featuring an all-star cast. The play was an instant on-stage success and is the first production written by this preternaturally gifted playwright. "[A] lacerating dark comedy... Dry Powder feels extraordinarily timely. It's a play every oligarch should see."— Time Out New York "Calling all Bernie Sanders fans. There's a pageant of red meat for you... A slick drama set in sleek boardrooms... addressing the hot-button topics of income inequality and the collapse of American manufacturing... Ms. Burgess's grasp of the jargon of high finance is impressive."— The New York Times "Frighteningly funny... [a] timely play."— Variety

1

FRIDAY.

KMM Capital Management. Midtown Manhattan.

RICK reads something on his phone.

JENNY enters Rick’s office.

JENNY You wanted to see me?

RICK Yes.

JENNY Is this about Landmark Luggage? I saw you stop into Seth’s meeting. I have some thoughts on that.

RICK Are you speaking to a finance class at NYU?

JENNY Oh. Yes. In two weeks.

RICK Why are you speaking to a finance class at NYU?

JENNY Remember that consultant we brought in on American Saddle? Baljeet Nair? Orthopedic shoe, skin issues.

RICK No.

JENNY He teaches finance undergrads at NYU now. He asked me to come in and speak to them.

RICK About what?

JENNY He said to talk about whatever I want.

RICK You will not say whatever you want.

JENNY Why not?

RICK What are you planning to say?

JENNY I only have a rough draft at this stage.

RICK Let me hear it please.

JENNY What?

RICK Please let me hear what you’re going to say to a roomful of college kids with video recording devices while I’m getting eviscerated daily because of this goddamn layoff announcement.

JENNY Oh. Wait are you serious?

RICK Yes Jenny.

JENNY Why would we do that with our time?

RICK Because they’re going after our LPs now—that’s all our investors.

JENNY Of course they’re protesting, that’s what unemployed people do.

RICK Well they’re doing it outside the Beckwith office today.

Howard just had his coffee slapped out of his hand.

JENNY They’re just a bunch of socialists and whack jobs.

RICK The media isn’t portraying them as whack jobs.

JENNY Of course not.

RICK The media is portraying me as an unprecedented asshole.

JENNY But who takes the New York Times seriously?

RICK The Earth. The entire Earth.

JENNY I meant: who in our world.

RICK They were outside the Snyder office too. Did you know that? Gene’s car got surrounded.

JENNY Is he ok?

RICK I talked to Gene, he’s fine. It’s very clever, harassing our LPs like this—they’re going right after our money. It’s a good thing the Gjertsons are based in Oslo.

JENNY Our past two funds were top quartile. Legitimately top quartile. Our LPs aren’t going to abandon us because some jealous reporters made fun of your party elephants.

RICK Elephant. There was one elephant.

JENNY Thought I saw two.

RICK Why does everyone think there were two?

JENNY Were there mirrors in the ballroom?

RICK Fucking elephant. I should’ve talked her out of it. She had to have an engagement party that tied thematically to the wedding.

JENNY There’ll be elephants at your wedding?

RICK No just because it’s in Bali.

JENNY There are elephants in Bali?

RICK Yes Jenny. I have a home there. I engage in philanthropy there.

JENNY Ok.

RICK I should have cancelled the goddamn party.

JENNY Yeah. Successful people don’t deserve engagement parties. We should all just move to caves.

RICK It is painfully obvious that you don’t understand how serious this is.

JENNY No, I understand. I’m sure the protests are annoying our LPs, and I’m sure the Times article was upsetting for Katie.

RICK Yes.

JENNY But you’ve worked 70 hours a week for 30 years. You’ve earned every cent of your wealth. You’re allowed to have any kind of party you want.

RICK That’s not the issue, Jenny. The issue was having the party on the exact day of the layoff announcement.

JENNY The layoffs were inevitable. It’s not your fault ShopGreat allowed itself to be commandeered by unions.

RICK That is also not the issue. This is about timing and perception. And boy, do you not have talent in either of those areas.

JENNY It’s not a lack of talent. It’s being rational. I don’t waste time trying to prevent outcomes I can’t change.

RICK I could have changed the outcome.

JENNY How?

RICK I could have listened to Seth. He told me to cancel the party. But you advised me not to. Which is hilarious, because you don’t even enjoy parties.

JENNY Sure I do.

RICK No you don’t.

JENNY It was very fun.

RICK I don’t want to hear any more about the party.

JENNY I apologize.

RICK And on top of this unbelievable nightmare, Xu Wei called again.

JENNY He did?

RICK Wanted us to fly to Hong Kong. Can you imagine if that got out in the press?

JENNY H...