Chapter 1
Finding Your Green Thumb
Anyone and everyone can have a green thumb, dahling! The only regret Iāve ever had throughout this entire plant parent journey was not starting this botanical adventure sooner! Preāplant parenthood, I was anxious about my ability to care for houseplants. I had a fear that I would not be able to keep these living, breathing creatures alive, keep them growing, keep them thriving. I had a fear that maybe I was a kween who just lacked a green thumb. Eventually, I had to put that fear and anxiety to the side and take a leap of faith into the lush green foliage that is being a plant parent, strutting into this adventure with a sense of curiosity, fun, and joy!
As an educator, I am always fascinated by the history of common phrases, their origins, and how they came to be, because languageāthe words we useāis important! Whether you have plants or not, youāve probably heard the expression āhaving a green thumb.ā This notion of inherently having or not having āan exceptional aptitude for gardening or for growing plants successfullyā (thanks, Dictionary.com) is simply anxiety provoking, and frankly, this kween just aināt got time for that kind of lingering pressure. So I did some research on when, where, and why this phrase came to be. According to The Old Farmerās Almanac, it has two possible origins: It is said that King Edward I developed a love of green peas and kept a dozen of his servant gardeners shelling them. Apparently, the most proficient sheller, judged by the green stains on his fingers, was richly rewarded. Youāll notice that this story is not only silly but doesnāt really have anything to do with gardening. More plausible is the observation that repeatedly handling clay pots encrusted with algae often rubs off and stains a gardenerās thumb (and probably fingers) green.
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AFTER DOING THIS lil word-history research, I knew that it was time for me to redefine what having a green thumb meant for my own botanical journey, just as it had been redefined throughout history. I remember when I asked my mom her thoughts on the common idea that one must have a green thumb in order to take care of plants. She replied, āOh, what is a green thumb, really? You just need to know what plant fits well with youāa little research, patience, and a whole lotta love is all you need when it comes to gardening.ā
She looked over at my dad, motioning for him to give his thoughts. He said, āCouldnāt have said it better, dear. Never thought I was good at gardening, but your grandmother and your mother showed me that anyone can do it and do it well if they put their minds and hearts into it.ā
My parents said it best. Nothing about having a green thumb involves inherent talent or a divine gift for gardeningāitās something you build and grow into over time through patience, intentionality, dedication, the experience of trial and error, and a lot of plant parent fails and successes.
I remember when I was a plant parent newbie just beginning to build my plant fam, I would go plant shopping and pick up any green gurl that caught my eye. This resulted in a kween purchasing plants that were either too difficult for me to take care of at the time or simply werenāt a match for this beginner plant parent. But sheās come a long way since then, hunty!
Iāve learned to let my curiosity and passion for learning lead me in this journey, and this mindset has certainly helped me through my plant fails. Cuz, hunty, losing a green gurl is hard for any plant parent! While this kween has over 200 healthy green gurls in her apartment, it took five years to grow a plant fam that fits my lifestyle, my habits, and my space. Iāve learned so much in these last five years that I generally know which plants donāt do well in my home, which ones do well, and which ones just thrive with me. Itās been a process I have learned over time. There may be green gurls that are not a match for me at this point, and, gurl, thatās okay! I also know that I have tons more to learn because you can never stop learning, dahling.
THIS KWEEN OCCASIONALLY buys two of the same plant and will place them in different parts of her apartment just to see how they fare in slightly different conditions. While Iām a huge fan of googling plant care tips and seeking advice from my amazing community of plant friends, I also find that a lil planty experimentation can be fun and exciting. And while Google can be an accessible best friend when it comes to plant care research, sometimes the tons of information I pull up is contradictory. Iāve come to use plant care tips as a general guideline because no one knows my microclimate (my apartment) better than I do. Plant parenthood is quite a journey, dahling, and I intend to continue to have fun with it all!
As you ease yourself into the lush adventures of plant parenthood, here are five thangs to keep in mind that Iāve found to be helpful during this botanical journey.
1 PATIENCE AND PREPARATION ARE KEY, DAHLING!
As much as you may want to skip on over to your local nursery or plant shop, load up your cart with a bunch of greenery, and instantly fill your space with green gurls galore, itās important to take your time with this journey and not rush into it. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process as you do your research on the best plants for you and your lifestyle. Are you a kween on the go, traveling often? Some plants are extremely resilient and hearty and actually thrive with a little neglect here and there. Do you have pets or small children? Some plants are extremity toxic if ingested, so nontoxic/pet-friendly/kid-friendly green gurls would be the way to go. Do you get that icky feeling when it comes to insects? Some plants are less prone to those creepy-crawly pests. These are the kinds of questions you should be asking and exploring about yourself before you embark on this journey.
2 GIVE YOURSELF GRACE, KWEEN!
Brace yourself for this one, gurl: Sometimes plants die. It happens. We all have that plant or plants that are supposed to be āeasyā to care for but as soon as we bring that kween into our homes, she struggles. Even though weāve done our research, it happens. Itās the territory that comes with being a plant parent. Perhaps that green gurl and you are not a match right now, and that is okay! I havenāt kept count of the plants Iāve sent to the lil botanical garden in the sky, cuz she aināt about that life, dahling, but I have always used these unfortunate experiences as opportunities to learn, grow, and do better next time. Each time a plant leaves me, I make note of what could have gone wrong. I inspect whatās left of the leaves, I take a look at the roots, I note where the plant was placed in my apartment, and then I usually take the remains to my community compost bin. So, for all the new plant parent kweens out there, do not be devastated if you kill one, two, or even a few plantsāit happens. Learn from your mistakes, move on, and do better the next time around! Forgive yourself, gurl, and go plant shopping!
3 BE CURIOUS, GURL.
Let your passion for greenery lead you in this adventure! The more you let yourself wander into the vast world of horticulture and wonders of indoor gardening, the better informed youāll be when it comes to caring for your green gurls. Whether itās reading articles online, picking up a gardening book, or chatting with your plant friends or the amazing plant people who work at your local plant shop, allow yourself to get lost in the greenery of it all. Even with common plant parent struggles, I look at each and every one as an opportunity to do better for my green gurls, an opportunity to be creative in remedying that struggle, and a moment to potentially learn something new. So, get like Curious George, gurl, and let curiosity and a passion for learning lead you in this adventure!
4 BE OPEN TO LEARNING THE LESSONS YOUR PLANT FAM CAN TEACH YOU.
There is a simple and intricate beauty that comes with nurturing nature and watching her grow. This love for these green little creatures we call plants has opened pathways for me to deepen and explore my own methods and strategies for self-care. Through caring for them, I have learned how to better care for myself. I am better at giving myself grace, patience, and forgiveness, understanding that the healing and growth of my own heart, mind, body, and soul takes time, love, energy, and intentionality. Putting that love, care, and attention into my plants has honestly provided me with practice and enabled me to put that same amount of love, care, and attention into my own Black queer non-binary femme beingāthe journey of self-care, self-love, self-fulfillment via plant-care, dahling. So let your green gurls teach you their ways, because we can learn a lot from these kweens.
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