Body Language & Secrets of Nonverbal Communication
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Body Language & Secrets of Nonverbal Communication

Effect & Rhetoric, Read & Understand People, Correctly Interpret Gestures & Facial Expressions, Recognize Lies & Manipulation like FBI Agents

Simone Janson, Simone Janson, Simone Janson

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eBook - ePub

Body Language & Secrets of Nonverbal Communication

Effect & Rhetoric, Read & Understand People, Correctly Interpret Gestures & Facial Expressions, Recognize Lies & Manipulation like FBI Agents

Simone Janson, Simone Janson, Simone Janson

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Team Success: Communicating with Difficult Colleagues [6 Checklists & 5 Tips]
// By Simone Janson


Proper communication with colleagues is one of the most important success factors for the career. It all depends on the right mix: you have to work together with others in the team, but at the same time prevail against competitors. Rhetorical skill is the key to success here.

How to get along well with colleagues

Whether you like it or not, you are closely connected with your colleagues.
Mrs B. has always enjoyed working in your company. Lately, however, some new colleagues have joined and suddenly the mood is not so good anymore. Mrs B. does not really know if this is up to her or her colleagues and how she should deal with the new situation.

Praise and praise

Giving each other positive feedback for a well-done job - this can significantly improve the working atmosphere. But beware: Praise also has its pitfalls.
Do not be too suspicious. Take praise first. Of course, sometimes others praise us for wanting to achieve something. But often it is really honest niceness. Do not break yourself and others' enjoyment.
"Man, Mrs. B., where do you always take these great ideas, I would not think of anything ...", Mrs. S. exclaims enthusiastically after the meeting. Mrs. B. is irritated by such effusive praise. Almost apologetically, she answers: "Oh, that's nothing special!" Secretly, though, she wonders if there's anything behind it. Ms. S. has meant it honestly, but the embarrassment of the colleague notes: In the future she will be more careful with her praise.

Checklist: Unexpected praise - That's how you dealt with it

To accept praise also wants to be learned. This is how you react properly to compliments. Because: Some people are speechless with surprising praise as well as in attacks and talk the compliment then bad. Too bad - it is much nicer to just accept it. Here are some answers:
  • Quite simply: "You have done great!" - "Thank you".
  • As a question: "You have really come up with a good classification system for our files" - "Do you like it !?" Important: Speak the words like a statement and make it clear that you do not expect an answer.
  • With humor: "Your new trouser suit is really outstanding!" - "You have a good taste."
  • Überleitend: "You really have a lot of idea about the subject" - you smile at the other friendly and change the subject: "What is there in the canteen today?" But make sure that the transition makes humorous and not embarrassed. Use this option only to honestly accept praise, not to ironically question it (say, "What exactly do you want to know?"). They would just offend the other one.
Many people who have trouble accepting praise can also praise themselves badly. Ms. B., for example, has very high standards - not only for herself. Accordingly, she sees little reason to even apply a praise for others. Positive achievements are easy for them.
Too bad, because recognition is one of the strongest links between people. With her critical attitude, Mrs. B. loses so many sympathies. It would not have to change much, because it's not about singing praises of love always and everywhere. It would help if you only perceived the achievements of others a little more attentively.

Recognition is important

Every jeck is different. If you have high expectations of colleagues: Do not compare them with each other or with yourself. What is natural for one is a challenge for the other, whose mastery deserves real praise.
From time to time, give your colleagues honest applause. Then you get along well with them.

Checklist: To give others real recognition

Praise is for motivation and relationships like fertilizer: Well-dosed it can strengthen, but too generous and handed out in the wrong place it destroys a whole crop. Therefore, keep some rules in mind so that well-intentioned praise does not fail.
  • Praise only if you really mean it. Real recognition comes from the gut, it is filled with joy about one thing - others notice whether it is authentic or not. If you feel it, tell it, "I noticed that you really tried hard."
  • Sometimes non-verbal praise is more convincing than a rant. Smile at your colleagues, hold your thumbs up, tap your shoulder and find your own way of expressing yourself.
  • Check Critically: Do you follow an intention with praise? Do you want to disguise criticism? If so, leave it, because it seems implausible. This only disappointed and demotivated others. And, if you expect nothing, you will not be disappointed if there is no response.
  • Equally offensive are ironic or overbearing acknowledgments: Avoid impatiently, "Well, please, it's okay!", Or reproachfully "Why not just like that?" To praise. With "See: you just have to, then it works too" imply your colleague's lack of dedication and a "super! Now Mr. F. has finally understood it "exposes your colleagues and reveals their contempt.
  • Praise carefully. When you celebrate every little thing, your colleagues get used to it and say they do not need to make any further effort. The message must be: "It pays to stay on the ball. There is more in it! ".
  • Praise in a timely manner. The more spontaneous, the better. Wrong: "Your behavior at the last show three weeks ago was really good. Keep it up! "Such praise comes too late and is too general, it only irritates.
  • Do not just say "well done", but as detailed as you can, WHAT YOU WANTED: "At the show last week, I noticed your exceptional customer service. They are friendly and polite, use very positive language and find suitable alternatives. They make everyone feel they are the only important thing for you right now! "
  • Praise without restriction: "Your presentation was very interesting, but watch out for the spelling a little bit next time." That's where the praise goes. Better: Let the praise stand isolated. Criticism belongs in another conversation.
  • Be fully involved: never give the impression of being rushed or in time trouble, then the praise acts unreal.

Colleagues support - but right!

"I have to buy something tonight. Could not you exceptionally stay in the office for me today until eight o'clock? "Mrs. B. thinks exasperated:" Why can not Ms. make her purchases like all the others on the weekend? "But she says:" Not so much, but if it has to be .... "
But: If you did not want to, the colleague is contrite and you angry! No one has any such support: Mrs. B. is annoyed all the time until eight o'clock to have said "yes" again, although she really wanted to finally say "no". And Mrs S. now has a guilty conscience and the feeling of being guilty. Just as bad are excuses that the other person sees through anyway: "I'm sorry, I would do it, but I already have plans for tonight."
Better: Say politely, but definitely "no" - without plasticizers like "actually" or "I think". A good transition is about "No, and I'll tell you why ..." Then give a reason: "No, I will not stay until eight o'clock. My after-work is important to me. You have to find another solution. "Say clearly and against your insecurity, what you think - then the other will not come back next time. And both have a good feeling.

Polite, but definitely!

If your colleague is overwhelmed: Your colleague has planned too much? Do not take it from work, but offer help for self-help: Think together, which priorities the individual tasks have and how they should be organized. This is how the colleague learns for the future. Contact an organization expert or recommend literature. But: Do not offer the overburdened person a takeover of his work - better: Help for self-help!
Achtung: NatĂŒrlich sollen Sie nicht jede Bitte abschlagen. Aber machen Sie sich klar: Es gibt nur ein ganz klares „Nein“ oder aber ein ganz klares „Ja“. Denn wenn Sie „Ja“ sagen, muss das aus vollem Herzen kommen. Sagen Sie noch zusĂ€tzlich: „
mach ich gerne fĂŒr dich“ – dann machen Sie es erstaunlicherweise auch viel lieber, weil Sie sich ihren eigenen Worten verpflichtet fĂŒhlen. Am besten ist: Klares Nein, Klares Ja!

So sprechen Sie auch unangenehme Dinge an

Sie sind ungehalten ĂŒber einen Kollegen? Frau B. etwa ist ungehalten ĂŒber die fehlerhafte PrĂ€sentation, mit der Herr W. beim Meeting die Arbeit der ganzen Abteilung schlecht verkauft hat. Doch wie soll Frau B. mit Ihrem Ärger umgehen? Wenn sie Ihren Ärger nur zerknirscht und leise zur Sprache bringt, wird das nichts.
Falsch: Frau B. möchte einen offenen Streit vermeiden und sagt „Wahrscheinlich hatten Sie einen guten Grund, die PrĂ€sentation nicht ordentlich vorzubereiten. Aber ein wenig Ă€rgerlich ist das schon
“ Herr W. jedoch kann mit Frau B.’s leiser Kritik nichts anfangen. Statt sie anzunehmen, Ă€rgert er sich: „Wollte Frau B. ihn kritisieren – oder nicht? Was soll diese Bemerkung?“ Die nĂ€chste PrĂ€sentation lĂ€uft Ă€hnlich ab und Frau B. platzt der Kragen: „Warum mĂŒssen Sie nur immer so schlampig arbeiten?“ Herr W. ist wĂŒtend – und von nun an nicht mehr gut auf Frau B. zu sprechen.

Damit der Ärger nicht irgendwann aus Ihnen herausbricht!

Besser: Sprechen Sie unangenehme Dinge sofort, direkt, freundlich und offen an. Reden Sie mit dem Kollegen unbedingt alleine, um ihn nicht vor anderen bloß zu stellen. Signalisieren Sie Ihre guten Absichten. Kommen Sie sofort zum Punkt, vermeiden Sie Small Talk, das wirkt zweideutig, als hĂ€tten Sie etwas zu verbergen:
„Herr W., ich möchte mit Ihnen sprechen, weil mir Ihre PrĂ€sentation, die ja unsere gemeinsame Arbeit vertreten soll, nicht gefallen hat. Lassen Sie mich ausfĂŒhren,was ich genau meine.“ Wenn der Konflikt schon besteht, sollten Sie ihn beilegen.

Deuten Sie Körpersprache richtig und reagieren Sie darauf

Kritik schmeckt niemandem. Dementsprechend werden Sie bei Ihrem GegenĂŒber Zeichen von Anspannung feststellen, die Sie jedoch mit passenden Gesten abfangen können – damit sorgen sie fĂŒr eine entspanntere AtmosphĂ€re.

Checkliste: Typische Gesten von Anspannung sind:

  • Erstarrter Gesichtsausdruck, der Überraschung signalisiert.
  • ZurĂŒckrĂŒcken mit dem Stuhl, mit dem der andere Abstand zu Ihnen herstellt.
  • VerschrĂ€nken der Arme ĂŒber der Brust, eine typische Abwehrhaltung.
  • Konzentriertes Vorneigen – der Kollege ist interessiert, was Sie ihm zu sagen haben.

Ein offenes LÀcheln kann Wogen glÀtten

Sie können die AtmosphÀre schon bei den ersten Worten entspannen: Bei Àngstlichen Kollegen lÀcheln Sie ein wenig, in hartnÀckigen FÀllen schauen Sie bewusst ernst. Vermeiden Sie jedoch, böse zu schauen oder eine Abwehrhaltung einzunehmen.

Bitte keine allgemeinen VorwĂŒrfe

Frau B. macht Herrn W. einen verallgemeinernden Vorwurf, der in aufgestautem Ärger wurzelt. Das fĂŒhrt zu seiner Abwehrhaltung. Besser: Schildern Sie zunĂ€chst den Sachverhalt, der Ihnen Anlass zur Kritik gegeben hat, so ausfĂŒhrlich und bildhaft wie möglich.
Benennen Sie alles beim Namen: den Tag, die Uhrzeit, die Menge, das Thema, die Fehler, die HĂ€ufigkeit, die Verzögerungen. Äußern Sie Ihr Feedback konstruktiv und bieten Sie Ihrem Kollegen eine Chance zur Stellungnahme. Suchen Sie gemeinsam nach einer Lösung. Seien Sie nicht enttĂ€uscht, wenn Ihr Kollege ihr Angebot nicht annimmt – nicht wenige wollen allein ihre Ehre retten.

Besser: Schildern Sie offen uns sachlich, was Sie stört!

Stochern Sie nicht im „warum?“ Verharren Sie nicht zu lange bei der Schilderung der Probleme – etwa: „Warum sind Sie so so schlecht vorbereitet?“ Ihnen geht es nicht um Anklage, sondern um die Lösung des Problems, also gehen Sie es konkret an.
Beispiel: „Herr W. mir sind heute bei Ihrer PrĂ€sentation mehrere Dinge aufgefallen: Erstens waren Fehler in Ihren Charts, die fĂŒr unsere Abteilung sehr peinlich waren. Die Marktanteile stimmten nicht, und die Auflistung der Wettbewerber enthielt zwei Unternehmen, die lange vom Markt sind. Zweitens haben Sie sich so verzettelt, dass Sie die Übersicht verloren und gar kein Ende gefunden haben. Ich ziehe daraus den Schluss, dass Sie die PrĂ€sentation nicht ordentlich vorbereitet haben. Ich bin mir allerdings unsicher, warum Sie den Faden so verlieren konnten.“

Checkliste: Finden Sie gemeinsam eine konstruktive Lösung

Diese Formulierungen zeigen Ihre konstruktive Haltung. Nutzen Sie sie daher fĂŒr Ihr Feedback.
  • „Gibt es einen Grund dafĂŒr, dass Sie gestern so viele Fehler gemacht haben? Vielleicht können wir diesen ja gemeinsam aus dem Weg schaffen?“
  • „ErklĂ€ren Sie mir bitte,wie Sie sich gestern gesehen haben. Können Sie meiner EinschĂ€tzung folgen?“
  • „Wie kann ich Sie dabei unterstĂŒtzen, den Überblick zu bekommen und sich nicht mehr zu verzetteln?“
  • „Sie haben sicher anhand der genannten Beispiele verstanden, was genau ich meine. Wie erklĂ€ren Sie sich Ihre hĂ€ufigen Fehler in letzter Zeit?“
  • „Wer kann Ihnen die notwendigen Tipps geben, damit Sie mit den PrĂ€sentationsmedien besser ...

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