The Pineapple Strategy - Networking for every Type of Person

Small talk the right way, targeted contacts for introverts, extroverts, highly sensitive, high-flyers or lazy people

Simone Janson, Simone Janson, Simone Janson

• Publisher: Best of HR – Berufebilder.de®
• Year: 2024
• ISBN:
  9783965961173
• Edition: 4
• Topic: Economics
• Subtopic: Economic Theory
• Index: Economics

Guiding small talk properly: expanding the network [8 times checklist]
// By Simone Janson

Often enough you stutter around, because you do not have exactly this answer - especially with small talk. However, it is the basis for optimal relationships with colleagues and business partners. Therefore, it is important to know how to skillfully talk about trivial things.

Small talk lead safely

"Every response that is so clever that the listener wishes he had given it is ready to go," wrote essayist Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915).

Mr. R. works on the tenth floor of an office complex. Every morning he and the same colleagues in the elevator - and everyone stares convulsively silent to the door, until finally opens. "What a stupid situation," he thinks, "but I only know people from sight. I can not just say something ... "In silence, Mr. R. admires his colleague H., who finds the right words in every situation and who is equally popular with colleagues and supervisors.

This is how you find the right topic of conversation

Start a conversation. Everyone starts silently to the door. Take the initiative: When you're standing in the elevator near the counter: "Hello. Which floor do you need? I do that ... here? "

You only know the colleague from seeing? Never mind: "Hello. We meet here and now. In which department do you work? "Or:" Funny that we meet here every day. Takes only ten floors, but at least. Is much to do with you? "You know people a little better? Talk about something pleasant: "Well, how was it on vacation?"

Embarrassing is just what you find embarrassing!

"What will he think of me?" Behind these questions is the fear of being rejected by others. Be clear: A refusal is not a crushing judgment on you as a person. Even if you get stuck in a peck, just laugh or read more tips on dealing with taunts.

The others forgot something faster than you think. And anyway: no one expects you to make any profound comments about science, politics or painting. Most people want to relax in small talk, not solve stressful problems. Is not that exactly the case with you?

Checklist: Do not try too hard

Wrong: Mr. R. would like to say something particularly intelligent, but he can not think of anything, because he puts himself under pressure with his excessive demands. If he just says, "How's it going?", The others would feel embarrassed ...

Better: First, explore the situation: Watch the people present.

• Who are you interested in?
• Who else stands apart?
• Who does not seem to know how to get in touch with the others?
• Who clings convulsively to his glass (at the company party)?
• Who do you like sympathetic?

Find connecting points

Even if it seems difficult to get into conversation with people you hardly know or do not even know, you can approach people with ease and ease. Find a starting point from each situation or behavior of others.

Mr. R. is in line in the canteen. "Like me What would you recommend: The tortellini or the chicken breast?" He asks the colleague in front of him. Not very resourceful, but he gets a friendly response: "I will definitely take the tortellini, because I like Italian food" Now Mr. R. is on it: "Yes I like Italian food too much. By the way, I'm ... Do not we want to eat together? "There are plenty of opportunities for a chat between meals.

Checklist: Typical situations and related topics

In every situation there is the appropriate opportunity, to which you can relate thematically. If possible, find a positive start - otherwise you will be a grumbler. Here is a small selection:

• Before the meeting: Talk about the topic of the meeting or the last meeting: "We really achieved a lot last week. I'm curious how it works today. "
• At the company party: talk about the company's successes. Or just the music, the food, the drinks, etc. "Is not that great what our boss organized there? He also has every reason to celebrate where things are going so well. The music is really great! But are there still salmon sandwiches? "
• In the corridor: Talk about how things are at work. Or what's in the canteen today: "Have you had stress today? I'm curious, what is good food today. We deserve it. "
• In the copy room: Let yourself out about the technology: "Now there is already a paper jam. Do you know how that works? "
• In the parking lot: Talk about cars: "Oh, you own this great car?"
• At the bus stop or on the platform - you see, the colleague looks annoyed at the clock: "The train is sometimes too late, but it is more stress-free than by car - do not you think?"

Checklist: The right greeting as an optimal introduction to small-talk

Whether you talk to someone depends very much on whether everything starts right from the start. You should therefore pay attention to a few points.

• Imagine yourself: Someone who immediately names his name gives more confidence than the great silence. Even if name tags are present or your counterpart already knows by whom he is in front of you, you look more polite and sympathetic when you personally introduce yourself again.
• Welcome the attendees in the right order: first the boss, then the head of the department, then the secretary. Exception: Longtime colleagues may also welcome you in front of the supervisor. In the case of like-minded persons, the lady is greeted in front of the gentleman.
• If you do not know a name: Imagine: "Hello, I'm ..." Usually, the counter-idea follows. If your counterpart just follows a monosyllabic "Good Day", take it easy. Ask: "And you are ...?"
• If you did not understand the name of your counterpart, ask them very simply: "Please tell me your name again?" Or: "Did I understand your name correctly: H.?"

Mostly you can omit titles such as "Mr. President" or "Mr. Board" in the salutation. Some people, especially older, conservative attach special importance to their title, even with very high-ranking personalities is the naming is still common (especially in the official context). Example: You write to the Lord Mayor with a request to speak officially to your company anniversary. Then write "Dear Lord Mayor".

After the greeting: What's next?

First, let the other person talk and listen attentively. Because many people lack the patience, therefore, your counterpart will be happy about your honest interest and tell you something about yourself. Comment on his remarks with small intermediate sounds and corresponding gestures. Examples: An affirmative "Yes, yes ..." with a slight nod or an astonished "Oh?", Lifting your chin slightly. Just let the conversation go.

Even if it does not have to be just flowers: honest interest in the other is important. (Next paragraph above)

Sometimes the first sentences already contain starting points. "The colleague likes Italian food?" Now your creativity is in demand: Which images appear in your mind's eye? Form association chains, such as: "food - leisure - vacation. Colleague Italy probably likes ... "And then you ask attentively:" Have you been on holiday in Italy before? Oh, in Tuscany - where exactly? "

Talk about the job

Of course it makes sense to talk about the job. "Well, much to do in your department?" But as general as possible. If you are too interested in asking for details, the other can give the impression that you wanted to use tactical calculus to spy on important information.

But even the situation in which you are, provides usually enough hangers for a chat. Start with a question, such as: "Do not you think that the tortellini are pretty mushy and bland? So I know a restaurant for Italian food .. "If you do not mind, you can go back to general topics. Talk about how the food was or about the environment in which you are.

Top 10 themes for small talk

1. Movies, books, music
2. Arts and Culture
3. Events
4. Nature and weather
5. Sports
6. Cooking, eating, drinking
7. Leisure, hobbies, holidays
8. Current affairs
9. common interests and areas of work
10. Special features of the place and the surroundings (end checklist)

Well prepared with a theme dossier in the Small Talk

Find topics that exactly fit your conversation partner by creating a dossier with his personal preferences. You can then retrieve this at any time:

Place your dossier on index cards, in a folder, in a file on the computer, or on your handheld. Or make a note of the important information in your address directory. Important: You should always have your dossier at hand and find the person quickly - sort it alphabetically.

Write down information about your conversation partners

Write down preferences, hobbies, habits - and also, which one does not like. Then you always know which topic you can and which not. But: Of course, the other one must not realize that you lead such a dossier, he would otherwise spy on. The dossier is just a reminder for you.

Example: Mr H. tells enthusiastically about the food from the surfing course in the last holiday. Mr. R. noted after the meal in his address card: "Mr. H., Office 305, extension -37, Italy like, Italian food, likes to surf." Now he knows how he always finds a positive subject in Mr. H.

If you are invited for a specific occasion, consider which topics fit there. If necessary, search some points. Mr. R. is invited by a colleague to play golf and first learns about the basic rules. Who has which interests? This is also how your dossier looks like. Important: Keep track of things.

Nonverbal signals

Nonverbal signals such as body language, facial expression and voice support your small talk. In a short time, you let the person in the conversation know whether you are of the same or different opinion as him.

• eye contact
• Smile Friendly Smile, do not grimace

Always keep eye contact, because if you look away, the other one feels rightly ignored. If you find it uncomfortable to look directly into the eyes of the other person: Concentrate on a point in the middle of the nose, just above eye level. This creates the impression that you were in eye contact.

Smile easily, but do not grimace. Because: Smile is also an elegant way to show your opponents teeth and can therefore cause aggression. Your opponent may interpret it as a non-seriousness of his person, as a condescension, and in the worst case a...