PART I
Questions with Answers
1
Awakeā
What are these quick shots of warmth,
Fractals of forests
That wind through my limbs?
Fragrance of olive and salt taste of skin,
Razz-tazz and clackety sound?
Figures and shapes slowly wheel past my view,
Villas and deserts, distorted faces,
Children, my childrenā
Distant, the pink moons of my feet.
What rules do they follow?
I think movement, they wondrously move,
Moons flutter and shake.
I probe the hills and the ruts of my faceā
Now I grow large, now
I grow small, as the waves
Of sensation break over my shore.
There, a gnarled tree I remember,
A stone vessel, the curve of a hill.
What is the hour?
Some silence still sleeps
In my small sleeping roomā
Is it end or beginning?
2
Have I awakened?
For decades, it seems, I have slept in a cave,
Hung like a dried fly
Sucked of all insides and faith.
Am I awake
After so many foldings unfoldings,
The loose flaps and threads?
Something is stirring, some newness,
A flail, buzz, and heave.
Welcome, this sharp morning blastā
Pleasure floods through me
While tears sting my eyes,
Veins fill with promised life.
Breathing, I breathe and I feel,
My skin bristles.
3
Footstepsā
Itās Abbas, dear Abbas.
I know that old shuffle,
Grey stubble, haired mole,
Yellowing teeth.
Clatter of pots in the kitchen.
Heās making some tea.
āAre you awake?ā he roars.
Smells of hot peppers and onions
With cinnamon, hazelnut cake,
Baklava, sugared cream.
I rise from my bed, middle-aged,
Balding, the white scar on my arm,
Shrunken chest,
Losing more weight every yearā
In thirteen, by my estimate, Iāll weigh zero.
My spindly legs stiff as I stand,
Light from the night hallway,
Red glint of my eyes.
Am I still sleeping?
I dreamed of Zafir,
Weighing the sand on the beach.
4
Abbas is muttering.
Standing, I look for my paper and pen,
Books scattered about. Inhaleā
I breathe in my ancestral home,
Turquoise rough stucco and terra cottaātiled floors,
Earth colors, arches and airy rooms,
All crumbling now. There, the tinny piano
My mother once played. Here, the brass compass.
Abbas serves breakfast,
Eats at his small bench,
Belching and smiling.
Through an arched window,
I gaze at the wide rutted steps
To the terrace and down to the sea.
Garden of aloe and sharpened spine puyas,
The dune evening primrose, the prickly white poppies,
The red bougainvilleas that wind up the wallsā
Shadowy shapes in the dim light of dawn.
There, bitter orange trees,
Now smelling vanilla and powdery.
Olive groves, gift of my father,
Like everything here.
Parentless now. I was a parent myself,
Father and husband.
5
Then faintly, the call of the muezzin,
The nasalized song.
Abbas drops to the floor, praying.
I watch him and wait,
Help...