Influential Women

From the New Testament to today - how women can build up or undermine th

Wendy Virgo

• Publisher: Monarch Books
• Year: 2012
• eBook ISBN: 9780857213631
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

Wendy offers studies of key women in the New Testament as a starting point for a series of reflections on women's roles in the church today. Some of these women were saints, full of good works; some were frankly poisonous and did considerable harm. From her long experience within Newfrontiers, Wendy offers a good deal of shrewd advice and writes candidly about her own struggles to fit into church structures. Women can be powerful in a church and can be influential in changing it from a sick community to a healthy one. They can be a tremendous asset or a huge liability. They can influence the whole ambience of a church... The pages of the New Testament contain a surprising number of references to women to whom we can relate as we seek to build good healthy churches in the twenty first century.""

CHAPTER 1

Two Quarrelling Women

I plead with Euodia and I plead with
Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.
Yes, and I ask you, loyal yoke-fellow, help
these women who have contended at my side
in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement
and the rest of my fellow-workers whose
names are in the book of life.

PHILIPPIANS 4:2–3

Euodia was chatting in a corner with Clement’s wife. It was still early on Sunday morning and the heat had not yet penetrated the cool courtyard. Vine leaves were curling over trellis work, and water trickled into an ornamental pool. It would be hot later on, but Lydia’s spacious house was a pleasant refuge for the saints to meet in. They were gathering now on this first day of the week. Some of the men were helping to put out chairs, and many of the women were arriving with covered baskets containing food to be shared later at the “love feast”, the meal with which they ended their meetings.

Euodia glanced around, and a frown creased her forehead. She deliberately turned her back and gazed fixedly away from the doorway. Clement’s wife turned to see what had prompted this behaviour; it was as she suspected: Syntyche had come in. Her heart sank as she watched an angry flush spread over Syntyche’s face and neck. The woman’s mouth set into a hard line as she flounced over to the opposite side of the courtyard.

Clement’s wife sighed. This was getting ridiculous! The trouble was that neither of the women would yield, and now others were getting drawn into their feud. It had started over such a trivial matter, something that really was unimportant. Yet the church they all belonged to was composed of an amazingly disparate group of people who had learned to love one another, despite enormous differences.

Take Lydia, for example: a wealthy businesswoman from Thyatira across the Aegean Sea. After her husband died she had taken on his business, dealing in purple dye, a hugely expensive commodity extracted from a tiny shellfish. Only wealthy people, such as the Roman aristocracy, could afford to dress in cloth dyed in this way. Thyatira was a centre for this industry, and Lydia’s family became very wealthy. She proved to be extremely able in running the business, and was able to buy another house in Philippi as well as her home in Thyatira.

But although she was successful, Lydia’s heart was empty. Searching for truth, she had decided to investigate Judaism and began to meet with a group of Jewish women down by the river. Then one day, Paul had turned up with three friends, and as they preached their message, Lydia’s heart was opened to receive the gospel!

Then there was the little slave girl, rescued from the abusive clutches of a couple of men. They had exploited her apparent gift of fortune-telling, taking every penny for themselves, and keeping her in abject slavery and poverty. She had had no self-respect, no identity, no possessions, but she was set free, saved and added to the growing group of believers.

Perhaps even more striking was the conversion of the Roman jailer and his family. After the slave girl was delivered of the evil spirit that was driving her, her owners, deprived of an easy income, had seized Paul and Silas and dragged them before the authorities, accusing them of insurrection. Paul and Silas were thrown into jail. During the night, a violent earthquake shook the prison, and all the cell doors burst open! The jailer, in despair, was about to end his life, when Paul forestalled him. True to form, Paul seized the opportunity to preach the gospel to him, with the result that the man and his household were saved and added to the church.

***

We see that this church at Philippi was made up of a hugely diverse group of people: Jews, Greeks and Romans, men and women, rich and poor, members of the upper class and freed slaves. Yet they were all united by their love for Jesus and by joy in their salvation. There were so many issues that could have resulted in long-term division, but they were learning to forbear, forgive, love and serve one another.

What had happened to spoil this happy situation?

People are always looking for a perfect church; the joke is, of course, that as soon as they find one and join it, it is no longer perfect! Every church is at risk of division, and often it is through secondary issues that conflict arises. What do we know of these two unfortunate women, Euodia and Syntyche?

Hard-working, loyal Christians

First of all, they were hard-working, loyal Christian women. They were not evil! They were not masquerading as Christians; they had not infiltrated the church under false pretences. Paul does not dismiss them, pour withering scorn on them, or belittle their achievements. In fact he speaks warmly, commending them. Their names, he says, are in the book of life! This implies that they have been accepted by God, and he is not about to throw them out of his church for spoiling it. No, Paul gives them due dignity as fellow-Christians.

He also goes on to commend Euodia and Syntyche as those who have “contended at my side in the cause of the gospel”, along with other fellow-workers. How many people could own that distinction? To have actually worked alongside the apostle was not something that everyone could claim. One wonders what it entailed. Doubtless, these two women had to make difficult decisions when adhering to Christian values in a pagan society. Perhaps they were despised and slandered. They may have been part of an evangelistic team, even taking their turn in giving testimony and preaching the gospel. The use of the word “contended” implies that they were at times involved in conflict, but they evidently stood firm and did not back off from their convictions. They were courageous, loyal and unswerving.

We need to see that Paul does not allow the current behaviour of these women to sour his attitude to them, or to the undoubtedly good things they had accomplished. He affirms them. Too often, when people are not walking in step with others, they cast shadows on past history, speaking derogatively of actions and achievements which actually have been fruitful and positive.

The issue was not the issue!

So what was the dispute between these two women all about? Paul does not go into detail. In fact, for him, the issue is not the issue. He is not interested in their argument, only in the health of the church which is being threatened by the tense, edgy atmosphere produced by these quarrelling women. He does not take sides. He does not wish to enter into discussion about who is right and who is wrong; he is simply anxious for them to reconcile – and quickly!

The fact that Paul does not enter into the dispute persuades me that it was most probably over a trivial matter. If, for example, one of the women had been flirting with, or sleeping with, the other’s husband, that would have been a moral issue requiring a stringent disciplinary process in which the church elders would have been involved.

Could it have been a doctrinal disagreement? Maybe, but I tend to think that, if one or both of the women had been vocal in challenging foundational doctrine or in seeking to propagate error, then again Paul would have been exact and focused in isolating the problem and instructing elders to deal with it. This would not have been alluded to vaguely in two verses. Here the apostle puts the responsibility back on the women to sort it out, not on the eldership.

Potential pitfalls

So what kinds of things cause women to disagree? There are so many potential pitfalls. In that racially mixed church, perhaps one woman was Greek and the other Jewish, provoking cultural problems (their names, however, suggest that they were both of Greek origin). Certainly, cultural issues will undoubtedly continue to raise their heads today as we seek to build multiracial churches, and we must guard against these becoming divisive.

Both Euodia and Syntyche seem to have been involved in ministry of some kind. Perhaps jealousy reared its ugly head. Perhaps one felt she was being ignored while the other was gaining recognition. Perhaps Syntyche was given to prophesying, and her prophecies were highly regarded, while Euodia had occasional prophecies but did not really flow fluently in the gift, causing her disappointment and aggravation. Surely not, we might say! But in all honesty, have not many Christian woman heard another woman share a testimony or word of encouragement, and wished they had stepped out in faith themselves? I have felt this way … and I have had to repent of jealousy, a very destructive force if allowed to fester.

Close on the heels of jealousy is competitiveness. This is where wrong motivation confuses the picture. We are exhorted to seek spiritual gifts, but for the right reasons. They are intended to edify the church, to build everyone up, not to bolster a person’s own ego. The only things we should be seeking to outdo one another in are expressions of love, such as serving one another, forgiving one another, and loving one another.

Other things that can divide women are thoughtless behaviour, criticism and selfishness. The glory of the church is that we have been saved out of a myriad of different backgrounds, and are all sinners who have been redeemed but not yet fully sanctified. Those who have been Christians for a long time must give grace to the “babes in Christ”, while the new converts need to give respect to the more mature in Christ.

This, of course, leads on to another potential source of discord: personality clashes. The extrovert bounces into her house-group with a story of how she has witnessed to someone in the checkout queue at the supermarket; her kids are loud and noisy like her, and wherever she goes, tranquillity is disrupted. She hardly notices the quiet little woman who always sits by the window, but when she does, she seems tolerantly amused by her boring life. Meanwhile, the quiet little woman has just come from a long day working in a hospice, where she sat with a patient who died only two hours ago. She is longing to be replenished in God’s presence and wishes the loud young mother would just be quiet!

Women may also be divided by their differing views on raising families, spending money and on styles of dress. This can be tricky: younger Christians sometimes need the guidance of older women in all of these areas, and others too. An older woman may need to help a younger woman to adapt her style of clothing to be more modest and less provocative for the sake of the men in the church. She must be careful, however, that her eagerness to help is not motivated by personal preference but by the word of God. The basic criterion must be, “Is this style modest?” This may lead to some interesting discussion of what “modesty” implies. The older woman must tactfully lead her young friend to understand that “modest” doesn’t mean “frumpy and out of date”; but it does demand that hemlines and necklines don’t expose so much flesh that they give problems to the men around them.

A church I knew years ago nearly came to grief when an elder’s wife insisted that the girls should not wear earrings! Actually, this was potentially more serious than one might suppose, because lurking underneath was a legalistic mindset that had not yet understood the grace of God. The earring issue was a symptom of something deeply embedded which eventually had to be dealt with very deliberately. Wearing or not wearing earrings is immaterial: a girl is at liberty to wear earrings or not. What must be clear is that holiness is not built on adherence to rules about external issues; it is about attitudes of the heart, set against the prevailing mindset of the world which is implacably opposed to the purity of behaviour, motive and affections in which God delights.

Lack of forgiveness is another submerged rock on which church unity can founder. When past history and disagreements are not allowed to rest, but are continually referred to, or used as an excuse to put down another person, peace and unity will not grow.

If there is one thing which all Christians must excel at, it is forgiveness. “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

All these things: jealousy and competitiveness, a judgemental attitude, legalism, hypocrisy, selfish and immature behaviour, personality clashes, different priorities, and lack of forgiveness can all be causes of disagreement. Sadly, it is often some small incident, escalating into an enormous row, which divides a church. I once heard of a church which divided because a woman had brought in an electric kettle for use at some church event. Then someone else borrowed it and a dispute arose. Husbands took sides, and others became embroiled. Neither side would give way and eventually pride, rigidity and selfishness split the church.

So what can we do if a dispute arises between women?

How did Paul address this dispute?

First, he directly addressed both women by name. There was no pussyfooting around! It was, in effect, a command: “You women, get together, and get over it – quickly! No arguing! You can do this.” He was robustly confrontational.

His appeal was that they should agree with each other “in the Lord”. They were both Christians. Their standing was equal before God: forgiven sinners, washed in his blood, saved by grace. Like them, we have no special rights or reason for superiority. Elsewhere, Paul says we are to be reconciled to one another because we have been “reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20). Reconciliation is at the heart of the gospel. It requires humility, putting aside personal preferences, and being aware and motivated by the health of the whole body. It is also being aware that the church needs to present to the world a community of peace, love and forgiveness. How the world loves to expose a church in conflict!

Notice that Paul also urged the two women “to agree”; some other translations, such as the King James Version, render this as: “be of the same mind”, which is really more emphatic. Must we all think the same, then? Is there no room for personal preferences, taste or opinions?

The church is certainly not intended to be a bunch of clones, all living and thinking uniformly. Its very diversity is part of its glory! Yet, earlier in the epistle, Paul has urged, “[Stand] firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel” (Philippians 1:27). Then again:

Make my joy complete by being of the same
mind, maintaining the same love, united
in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing
from selfishness or empty conceit, but with
humility of mind regard one another as more
important than yourselves; do not merely look
out for your own personal interests, but also
for the interests of others.

PHILIPPIANS 2:2–4

In other words, no one should be sticking out for his or her rights, or imposing his or her ideas or preferences on any others. Our motivation must be a sincere desire for the good of the whole. On primary issues (such as doctrinal and moral issues) we must take care to be of one heart, while giving grace to one another in secondary issues (such as length of hair, whether women should wear make-up, and leisure pursuits).

In appealing directly to the two women, Paul is effectively saying, “This is your responsibility.” He is direct; but he is also respectful and tender, commending them, as we have seen.

He also suggests turning to a third party to help. In fact, he asks someone called Syzygus to intervene. (Syzygus actually means “yoke-fellow”, so Paul may have been appealing to the church leader to step in and share the load, not just to a man of that name.) In dealing with any dispute it is important to gain a clear sense of perspective and get things in proportion, and a third party can be very helpful in doing just that. A respected friend could be called upon to fulfil this role, or a cell leader, elder, or pastor’s wife, as long as the person chosen can be trusted to be impartial.

Some commentators have suggested that the whole of the epistle to the church at Philippi was written because of the dispute between Euodia and Syntyche, and that all the sublime doctrine and revelation of the previous chapters were leading up to this point. In fact, however, many of the ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Table of Contents
• Acknowledgements
• Foreword
• Introduction
• 1. Two Quarrelling Women
• 2. Women Discipling Women
• 3. A Devious Woman
• 4. A Dead Woman Raised to Life
• 5. A Pioneering Woman
• 6. Mothers and Grandmothers
• 7. A Single Woman
• 8. A Businesswoman
• 9. Charismatic Women
• 10. A Dangerous Woman
• 11. Jezebel
• 12. A Personal Story
• 13. Two Influential Women