Unbecoming You

Bernice Angoh

Unbecoming You is a coming of age story that celebrates all that is unique in each of us, especially those most shunned and misunderstood in society. It forces us to take a look into our darkness as a means to discover the light within us. The stories of a gender-fluid boy, a single mom, an ex-convict, a lesbian and a female genital mutilation survivor play out through the book, as the author seeks to challenge the reader to unveil that which is hidden within. A painful yet triumphant reveal about the Self, this conscious journey into the unknown brings to the forefront one universal truth: we are very similar even in our uniqueness. We must "Unbecome" who we think we are in order to fulfill our dreams of a new earth. Unbecoming You gives us a chance to collectively shift our consciousness to that of more love and more kindness.

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REVIEW

"Einstein echoed many others when he said, "A problem can't be solved at the same level of thinking that caused it". The challenge is that the culture that created the problem cannot solve the problem. Something has to change, and the only proven way to change is to step out of the system, see it from the outside-in in an open, fearless, objective way and then to step into the system, whatever that system is, be it your marriage, your family, your community, the business you run, the place you work, the church you belong to, etc. The challenge is to step into the system and use the practical wisdom to make the necessary change from the inside-out.

Stepping out of the system we call our life is easier said than done. Bernice Angoh offers a bridge, in fact a dozen bridges that allow us to step out. She refuses to douse reality with the sugarcoating of affirmations and positive thinking. She refuses to provide the three step model or five easy stages to make your life great. Instead she takes us by the hand into the darkness. She illuminateswhat this means with story after story of what it means to "Unbecome" to let got of the narratives, roles, ego, identity and easy excuses we have to blame everything on everyone else.

This is more than a magnificent book. This is a journey into our awakening. It begins by stripping us naked and then offers us ways to be with the vulnerability, uncertainty, unfairness, hurt and pain in our life, so we can draw energy and power from the darkness and make the change that transform our lives. By taking the journey of unbecoming, we create the space and opportunities to "become" who we are but we never dreamt we could be."

--Kashmir Birk, Executive Coach & Poet