Introduction
Her patronizing tone left my lips pursed and jaw clenched. âYouâre one girl in a sea of men,â she told me, âso donât be disheartened if you donât do well.â She gave my body a pointed glance. âAnd for Godâs sake, please wear heels.â
I was in high school at the time. I had just told my teacher about my decision to participate in a statewide public speaking competition. It wasnât the first time I had been reminded I was short (or a woman). I was 4â10â and hadnât grown an inch since the fifth grade.
You canât do that, itâs impossible. Itâs the universal underdog experience. We are told to be more realistic with our goals, to know our place, to sit down.
Yet nothing makes us want to stand up more.
Itâs a sentiment passed down for centuries. Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius famously declared that âthe impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.â The same obstacles that make us the underdog can help us find success. Albert Einstein claimed that âin the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.â Adversity gives us a reason to create. Even Oprah encourages us to turn our wounds into wisdom. The things that cause us the most grief also provide the strongest foundation for our success.
Despite all of this, there is a key piece missing: how?
In the media, the âhowâ is often portrayed as a combination of hard work and luck. They say to work hard and good things will happen, but millions of people still fail to achieve their dreams due to factors beyond their control, like poverty or a lack of opportunity. The Oprahs and Albert Einsteins of the world are few and far between. Is anything in our hands?
* * *
My high school was situated in a majority immigrant district. The pressure was high to be successful and to make our parentsâ sacrifices in coming to a new country worth it. Many of us had been reading college admissions books for fun since the fourth grade. If you studied for your algebra exam at homecoming, you werenât a nerd. You were normal.
As a result, our students did well in everything from tennis to debate to business strategy. The public speaking competition was a rare exception. We sent our best speakers every year and always managed to come back empty-handed. So, when I decided to compete, my teacher wasnât the only one who was skeptical. âNo offense, but you donât look the part,â one person told me with a shrug.
I had never given a speech before. I prepared the only way I knew how: through brute force. I wrote and rewrote my speech, practicing it out loud every day until my voice was hoarse.
The night before the competition, I had a stare-off with my reflection in the mirror. I met my gaze and told myself that being short was a superpower.
I wore flats and placed first.
There is a myth we have all been told about being an underdog: we need to overcome our disadvantages to be successful. To start a company that helps millions of people or use our voice to enact change, we have to succeed against the odds. We have to persevere.
After my public speaking escapade, I began wondering if this was true. Before the competition, Iâd never been a strong speaker despite trying many times to get better at the craft. I did well because my teacherâs words had fueled me instead of discouraged me. In a space where I knew nothing, being the underdog had given me the fire to be bold.
But how could I know it wasnât all a fluke? This question lurked in the back of my mind. What if luck had graced me this one time and would never come back? It seemed likely. After all, I was shy and a pretty average speaker. But as other opportunities to prove myself popped up, I wanted to figure out if I could get lucky again. This book is a product of the journey I went on to find answers.
So, can we be intentional about using our disadvantages to find success? Letâs start by looking at the word âunderdog.â
* * *
In 43 AD, the Romans invaded Britain. Both sides brought gleaming swords, raging spirits, and fighting dogs to the battlefield. The war instilled a fascination for fighting dogs in the Romans. In the years that followed, large audiences would gather in the Roman Colosseum to watch gladiator dogs pitted against other animals, such as wild elephants.
The practice retained its popularity until the nineteenth century. When the cost of large animals began to rise, people turned to dog-on-dog combat. It was then the word underdog was created to define the dog who lost the fight. Its rival, the expected winner, was called the top dog.
Itâs been a few centuries since. In most countries, society has evolved past dogfighting. Along with society, the word âunderdogâ itself has evolved to mean the entity most likely to lose. Often, that entity is no longer a dog trying to battle another dog, but a person trying to battle something more abstractâlike stigma, discrimination, or someone elseâs expectations.
As a society, we celebrate these people. We are drawn to competitions where there are disparities of power, and we cheer on the most disadvantaged person, the fated loser. In psychology, this pattern is called the âunderdog effect.â Itâs somewhat paradoxicalâwe root for the underdog, but no one likes rooting for a loser. So, why do we do it?
Psychologists suggest itâs because we all feel like underdogs sometimes. When they succeed despite the odds, we feel hope we too can succeed. While not everyone identifies with the term âunderdog,â struggle is inherent to the human experience. If you picked up this book and have made it this far, Iâd venture to say youâve felt like your dreams were out of reach before.
But can our struggles truly be the reason for our success?
After winning the public speaking competition, I had many opportunities I didnât take advantage of because I wasnât confident enough. I resorted back to th...