The Higher Level Method

Success Stories on How to Master Your Business and Life Goals

Darlene Williams

• Publisher: Purposely Created Publishing Group
• Year: 2021
• ISBN:
  9781644843642
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Imprenditoria femminile
• Index: Business

Have you ever wished that you had a successful professional businesswoman to give you advice? Are you in search of new ways to gain the wisdom needed to move you closer to your goals? If you desire to witness your ambitions come to fruition, this motivational anthology will become your roadmap to success.

In The Higher Level Method: Success Stories on How to Master Your Business and Life Goals, Darlene Williams, along with 16 seasoned women in business, provides insight needed to elevate you to the next level.

Achieving success is a journey. We must be willing to engage in higher level thinking + higher level performance in order to reap the benefits of higher level results. If you desire higher level results, Th e Higher Level Method is for you!

Chapter One

YOU CAN BE A MESS AND A SUCCESS

Ashley Sides Johnson

Transforming complex topics into understandable stories and instructions is Ashley’s superpower. She has spent 14 years honing this craft as a healthcare communication specialist and more recently as a professor, author, and advocate for improving mental health in the workplace.

In her book, There’s an Elephant in Your Office, and TEDx talk by the same name, Ashley visualizes employees with a mental health disorder as one of three kinds of elephants. This metaphor helps people recognize and better support their coworkers who experience poor mental health and enables everyone (including the business) to succeed.

Ashley shares the importance of addressing mental health on her podcast. She also speaks at conferences and provides training to groups across the country.

Ashley received her undergraduate degree from Centre College in Kentucky and her master’s degree from Western Kentucky University. She teaches public speaking at the University of Southern Indiana and is a certified youth mental health first aider.

Learn more at www.elephantinyouroffice.com

It took an entire week and three panic attacks to write the author bio for this book. My author bio. Literally a paragraph about me and the amazing work I get to do. Why was it so hard? Because eight million thoughts of self-doubt crept into my mind while writing and dismantling each thought takes a ton of time and energy. But I did it. I can do hard things.

It may take a little longer and look differently than how other people do it, but I can do hard things.

Right now, I’m laughing at myself because the journey to find and accept that simple affirmation took about ten years and thousands of dollars in therapy. You see, I live with mental illness—generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), accompanied by seasonal affective disorder (SAD), and the occasional anxiety-induced episode of major depression to be exact—and it significantly impacts my daily life.

I know publicly acknowledging my disorder may not seem like a big confession or a serious hurdle to success, but I assure you, it is. For me, it’s the equivalent of unleashing the monster of judgment, insecurity, and fear. It’s admitting defeat. It’s saying to the entire world that I am less than perfect and broken in so many ways.

Now, if disclosing my mental health conditions is so terrifying, why would I voluntarily print the details for everyone to read? Because I need you to know that you’re not alone. You are not the only person who struggles with their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I’m writing to tell you that lots of successful women manage a career, personal life, and mental health disorder.

In fact, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that one in five US adults will experience mental illness in a given year. That’s roughly 44 million people! And guess what . . . those are pre-coronavirus numbers. Experts won’t know the true extent of how many people suffered poor mental health due to the pandemic, and 2020 in general, for quite some time. But if the preliminary statistics from Mental Health America are any indication, I’ll be welcoming a lot more people to the “I live with a mental health disorder” club.

Are you one of them? Maybe this is the first time you’ve experienced depression, disordered eating, or crippling anxiety. Maybe you’re all too familiar with this ride. Either way, if you are one of the millions of US adults that experience mental illness, it’s important to maintain positive momentum in your personal and professional life. But how can you keep moving toward success while managing your condition? You need a plan. Not sure where to start? Try this.

A Three-Step Path to Success:

• Get control of Barbara

• Put on your perspectacles

• Make wellness a priority

GET CONTROL OF BARBARA

First of all, who is Barbara and why does she need to be controlled? Well, Barbara is the voice in my head that tells me how worthless I am and that nothing I do will ever work. She’s a hateful, angry, loathsome, scaredy-cat that bosses me around. When I listen to Barbara, I forget that I do good work and that I’m smart and capable. When Barbara rules my thoughts, I become the most useless waste of space. I could win a Nobel Prize and still think it wasn’t good enough.

I bet many of you have a “Barbara” in your head even if she doesn’t have an official name.

(To be clear, this voice is my internal monologue, the totally normal thoughts that pass through everyone’s head as they navigate life. It is not the product of schizophrenia.)

My inner voice didn’t have a name either until this year when my therapist explained a new-to-me coping mechanism. During a bout of depression and serious frustration, she told me to name my disorder. Give my anxiety and depression an actual person’s name because assigning a specific identity to my self-talk voice would help me separate the negative, accusatory, self-defeating voices from my real self. Making the disorder someone totally separate would allow me to push back against my interrupting thoughts and regain control.

This tool gave me power over my illness. It allowed me to fight back without damaging my self-worth. I can tell Barbara to shove it, or shut up, or a lot of other things not appropriate to publish, without adversely affecting my confidence or self-esteem. It’s really been a game changer for me, and I highly recommend it to anyone who battles negative self-talk.

Pro-tip: Before you decide on a name, practice screaming it from your door, house, or yard. For maximum results, it needs to be easy to yell.

PUT ON YOUR PERSPECTACLES

Perspectacles : noun; combination of perspective and spectacles; imaginary spectacles or glasses that give you perspective on a situation.

Years ago, a few colleagues and I started using perspectacles in our work projects. I think we invented the word and to us it meant “reality check” or “take a minute to consider the entire picture” or “it could be so much worse.”

Personally, the concept of perspectacles helps me separate truth from what I think. It gives me perspective on my projects or accomplishments and works in tandem with my “Barbara” strategy. I depend on this self-help technique for motivation. Without it, I would be convinced that I am a complete failure who has never accomplished anything of value.

To better illustrate the concept, here’s a recap of a therapy session from earlier this year:

Me: “I really enjoy teaching, writing, and giving presentations but there’s just no way I can make a living doing that stuff. These other women have such successful careers. They get invited to speak at big events and people really love what they have to say.”

Therapist: “Who published their first book last year?”

Me: “I did.”

Therapist: “Who gave a one-hour workshop on mental health in the workplace for a top-100 company?”

Me: “I did.”

Therapist: “Who got on stage and delivered a TEDx talk a few months ago?”

Me: “I did, but I messed up in the second part and forgot a chunk of what I was going to say, and it was so awful.”

Therapist: “Do you ever give yourself credit?”

Me: “Uh . . . I guess not.”

Being successful and feeling successful are really two different things. I can create a 10-page resume and fill it with tons of amazing personal and professional accomplishments but still feel unworthy of the job. I can be selected to speak or give a presentation and have my material ready to go, except for the speaker’s biography. There’s really nothing to say about me. Just call me to the stage and move on with the program.

This inner conflict, the notion that I am not good enough, represents my biggest hurdle to success. Essentially, I can’t be successful until I get out of my own way. But how do you do that? Perspectacles. Quiet the external noise and focus on you. What are your goals and dreams? At your core, what do you want to do?

For the majority of my career, I refused to wear my perspectacles, thus making the world one big, blurry blob. It literally took the worst, most embarrassing, awful, I still don’t want to talk about it, episode at work to force those spectacles onto my face. The short version of a very long story goes like this: The year is 2017. I work as the senior corporate communication specialist for a health system. I speak on behalf of the company, work with the media, and try to stay ahead of any potential public relations issues. I arrange ribbon-cuttings, open houses, and huge press conferences. I also spend a lot of time with the CEO because I draft her letters, speeches, award nominations, and internal communications. I am trusted with the most high-level information and yield a certain amount of power.

During this same time, a change in the insurance formulary caused my anti-anxiety medication to increase from $40 per month to $350 per month. That’s almost a nine-time increase! Paying that much each month just for my medication would put a serious burden on my family and our finances. But I needed that medicine to function and hold a job. What was I supposed to do?

Thankfully, I already had an established mental health provider with medication management privileges. She and I reviewed my medical history and concluded that regardless of the price increase it really was time to change meds. Apparently, your body adapts to a drug after so many years and it becomes less effective. I had taken this particular anti-anxiety medication daily since the birth of my child about 11 years earlier so decreased effectiveness seemed plausible. And if I was being honest with myself, I knew that the medication wasn’t working like it should. My mental health had been deteriorating for months.

In early 2017, I stopped taking my usual medicine and tried the first of many new drugs. The initial withdrawal symptoms left me confused, tired, and annoyed. The side effects of each new medication seemed worse than the one before, and because it takes about four weeks for a new psychiatric medication to fully take effect, you don’t know if something works for a long time.

By the end of summer, I was completely exhausted both mentally and physically. I really needed to take a leave of absence and get my head together. I would have benefitted from intensive outpatient therapy or maybe even an inpatient stay, but I neglected my own needs and soon faced the consequences.

You see, I still showed up to work but didn’t really work. I couldn’t concentrate, meet deadlines, or return phone calls. I was a complete mess. After a while, my manager noticed the drop in productivity and after several months of being on a performance plan and having to justify every single move I made at work, I was given the choice to move to a supplemental position or quit.

I chose the supplemental position and didn’t work (or really leave the house at all) for about nine weeks.

During that time, I thought a lot. Who was I and what did I really want from life? Based only on my talents and abilities, how should I define success? What ...