A Perfect Bowl of Pho

Nam Nguyen

• Publisher: Playwrights Canada Press
• Year: 2021
• ISBN:
  9780369102362
• Topic: Literatura
• Subtopic: Arte dramático canadiense

• Premiered in January 2019 at Factory Theatre in Toronto in a production by Hotake Theatre and presented by fu-GEN Asian Canadian Theatre Company.
• Won Best Production honours at the University of Toronto Drama Festival in 2017.

Scene One: The Answer

in which the show begins, and we discover the universal solution to Vietnamese problems

A poor Farmer in northern Vietnam, donning loose-fitting clothes and a rice paddy hat, wallows over his misfortune. A flute or zither echoes his operatic wailing, utterly classical in technique.

Farmer: (sings) I dreamed I was a king in sorrow

For a stranger stole my crown, my land, my grain

I dreamed a wave would come tomorrow

To drown me and relieve me of my pain¹¹

Then I awoke, and sadly spoke

“My nightmare ends, but still I suffer now”

I am no king, but I lost everything—

When the white man ate my only cow¹²

And with no cow, how shall I plow?

If I can’t plow, how shall I grow rice now?

If rice won’t grow, how can I feed a home

Of seven children with only cattle bones?

This last crop was nothing to admire

With these bones, they’re my only supplies¹³

My feet on the fire, my need is quite dire

Is an answer in front of my eyes?

Nam and Kevin appear at a table, waiting for food at a modern Toronto Viet restaurant. Like the Farmer, Nam is also Viet and poor, but as a contemporary Canadian student. His friend Kevin is considerably more put together.

Kevin: Nam, where’s the play?

Nam: Ugggh!

Music shift—suddenly big and show-tuney, but with the same flute melody beneath.¹⁴

(sings) I dreamed I was a burnt-out student

Who once upon a time thought he was smart

I dreamed, or rather, self-deluded

That the best way I could spend my time is art

Nam: (sings) Then I awoke, and sadly spoke

This is no dream, you lazy shit, the world is waiting!

Kevin: That’s a bit dramatic.

Nam: My roommate goes—

Kevin: I’m Kevin, by the way—

(sings) Nam, you should write a show

Nam: But I instead just keep on procrastinating

Kevin: Type something out

Nam: But what about

Kevin: Forget your doubt

Nam: This writer’s drought?

Kevin: And do it quick

(simultaneously) We’re losing patience

You’ve had all year

(simultaneously) Just give me something here

Nam: (simultaneously) Go eat a dick! Be patient

(simultaneously) Don’t rush me here!

And before I write, I need an inspiration

Representation!

Kevin: Colonization!

Nam: Gentrification!

Kevin: Orientalization!

Nam: Something Asian?

Kevin: Well, here’s to hoping I’m surprised

Nam: I’ll surprise you!¹⁵

Farmer, Nam, & Kevin: (sings) My feet on the fire, my need is quite dire

Is an answer in front of my eyes?

Transgressing the barriers of time and space, the Farmer passes by Nam and Kevin’s table with a steaming pot of promise. Nam fixates on this as Kevin continues to berate him.

Farmer: (sings) Broth from the bones from the cow that they felled

Kevin: (sings) Write what you know

Farmer: Noodles of rice so it’s something to sell

Nam & Kevin: (sings) What do I/you know?

Farmer: The flavour’s like nothing the people would know

Nam: (sings) I know about . . .

Farmer: But they’ll cherish forever

Kevin: (sings) The show’s about . . .

Farmer: This soup I call . . . !¹⁶

Nam: (sings) Welcome to the show about . . . !

Kevin: (sings) Welcome to the show about . . . !

The music stops.

Nam: So! Should I get the tripe? I don’t know.

Kevin: Huh?

Nam: Yeah, it’s a tripe kinda day.

Nam jots his order down on an order sheet on the restaurant table. A waiter comes to take it away.

Kevin: Great. So, are we gonna talk about . . . ?

Nam: About?

Kevin: Your play idea?

Nam: Ah, I shoulda got the tendon! What?

Kevin: Your play idea!

Nam: Oh. Right. I don’t...