CASTING THE RUNES
April 15th, 190-
Dear Sir,
I am requested by the Council of the āā Association to return to you the draft of a paper on The Truth of Alchemy, which you have been good enough to offer to read at our forthcoming meeting, and to inform you that the Council do not see their way to including it in the programme.
I am,
Yours faithfully,
Secretary.
April 18th
Dear Sir,
I am sorry to say that my engagements do not permit of my affording you an interview on the subject of your proposed paper. Nor do our laws allow of your discussing the matter with a Committee of our Council, as you suggest. Please allow me to assure you that the fullest consideration was given to the draft which you submitted, and that it was not declined without having been referred to the judgement of a most competent authority. No personal question (it can hardly be necessary for me to add) can have had the slightest influence on the decision of the Council. Believe me (ut supra).
April 20th
The Secretary of the āā Association begs respectfully to inform Mr Karswell that it is impossible for him to communicate the name of any person or persons to whom the draft of Mr Karswellās paper may have been submitted; and further desires to intimate that he cannot undertake to reply to any further letters on this subject.
* * * * *
āAnd who is Mr Karswell?ā inquired the Secretaryās wife. She had called at his office, and (perhaps unwarrantably) had picked up the last of these three letters, which the typist had just brought in.
āWhy, my dear, just at present Mr Karswell is a very angry man. But I donāt know much about him otherwise, except that he is a person of wealth, his address is Lufford Abbey, Warwickshire, and heās an alchemist, apparently, and wants to tell us all about it; and thatās about allāexcept that I donāt want to meet him for the next week or two.
Now, if youāre ready to leave this place, I am.ā
āWhat have you been doing to make him angry?ā asked Mrs Secretary.
āThe usual thing, my dear, the usual thing: he sent in a draft of a paper he wanted to read at the next meeting, and we referred it to Edward Dunningāalmost the only man in England who knows about these thingsāand he said it was perfectly hopeless, so we declined it. So Karswell has been pelting me with letters ever since. The last thing he wanted was the name of the man we referred his nonsense to; you saw my answer to that.
But donāt you say anything about it, for goodnessā sake.ā
āI should think not, indeed. Did I ever do such a thing? I do hope, though, he wonāt get to know that it was poor Mr Dunning.ā
āPoor Mr Dunning? I donāt know why you call him that; heās a very happy man, is Dunning. Lots of hobbies and a comfortable home, and all his time to himself.ā
āI only meant I should be sorry for him if this man got hold of his name, and came and bothered him.ā
āOh, ah! yes. I dare say he would be poor Mr Dunning then.ā
The Secretary and his wife were lunching out, and the friends to whose house they were bound were Warwickshire people. So Mrs Secretary had already settled it in her own mind that she would question them judiciously about Mr Karswell. But she was saved the trouble of leading up to the subject, for the hostess said to the host, before many minutes had passed, āI saw the Abbot of Lufford this morning.ā The host whistled. āDid you? What in the world brings him up to town?ā
āGoodness knows; he was coming out of the British Museum gate as I drove past.ā It was not unnatural that Mrs Secretary should inquire whether this was a real Abbot who was being spoken of. āOh no, my dear: only a neighbour of ours in the country who bought Lufford Abbey a few years ago. His real name is Karswell.ā
āIs he a friend of yours?ā asked Mr Secretary, with a private wink to his wife.
The question let loose a torrent of declamation. There was really nothing to be said for Mr Karswell. Nobody knew what he did with himself: his servants were a horrible set of people; he had invented a new religion for himself, and practised no one could tell what appalling rites; he was very easily offended, and never forgave anybody; he had a dreadful face (so the lady insisted, her husband somewhat demurring); he never did a kind action, and whatever influence he did exert was mischievous.
āDo the poor man justice, dear,ā the husband interrupted. āYou forget the treat he gave the school children.ā
āForget it, indeed! But Iām glad you mentioned it, because it gives an idea of the man. Now, Florence, listen to this. The first winter he was at Lufford this delightful neighbour of ours wrote to the clergyman of his parish (heās not ours, but we know him very well) and offered to show the school children some magic-lantern slides. He said he had some new kinds, which he thought would interest them. Well, the clergyman was rather surprised, because Mr Karswell had shown himself inclined to be unpleasant to the childrenācomplaining of their trespassing, or something of the sort; but of course he accepted, and the evening was fixed, and our friend went himself to see that everything went right. He said he never had been so thankful for anything as that his own children were all prevented from being there: they were at a childrenās party at our house, as a matter of fact. Because this Mr Karswell had evidently set out with the intention of frightening these poor village children out of their wits, and I do believe, if he had been allowed to go on, he would actually have done so. He began with some comparatively mild things. Red Riding Hood was one, and even then, Mr Farrer said, the wolf was so dreadful that several of the smaller children had to be taken out: and he said Mr Karswell began the story by producing a noise like a wolf howling in the distance, which was the most gruesome thing he had ever heard. All the slides he showed, Mr Farrer said, were most clever; they were absolutely realistic, and where he had got them or how he worked them he could not imagine. Well, the show went on, and the stories kept on becoming a little more terrifying each time, and the children were mesmerized into complete silence. At last he produced a series which represented a little boy passing through his own parkāLufford, I meanāin the evening. Every child in the room could recognize the place from the pictures. And this poor boy was followed, and at last pursued and overtaken, and either torn to pieces or somehow made away with, by a horrible hopping creature in white, which you saw first dodging about among the trees, and gradually it appeared more and more plainly. Mr Farrer said it gave him one of the worst nightmares he ever remembered, and what it must have meant to the children doesnāt bear thinking of. Of course this was too much, and he spoke very sharply indeed to Mr Karswell, and said it couldnāt go on. All he said was: āOh, you think itās time to bring our little show to an end and send them home to their beds? Very well!ā And then, if you please, he switched on another slide, which showed a great mass of snakes, centipedes, and disgusting creatures with wings, and somehow or other he made it seem as if they were climbing out of the picture and getting in amongst the audience; and this was accompanied by a sort of dry rustling noise which sent the children nearly mad, and of course they stampeded. A good many of them were rather hurt in getting out of the room, and I donāt suppose one of them closed an eye that night. There was the most dreadful trouble in the village afterwards. Of course the mothers threw a good part of the blame on poor Mr Farrer, and, if they could have got past the gates, I believe the fathers would have broken every window in the Abbey. Well, now, thatās Mr Karswell: thatās the Abbot of Lufford, my dear, and you can imagine how we covet his society.ā
āYes, I think he has all the possibilities of a distinguished criminal, has Karswell,ā said the host.
āI should be sorry for anyone who got into his bad books.ā
āIs he the man, or am I mixing him up with someone else?ā asked the Secretary (who for some minutes had been wearing the frown of the man who is trying to recollect something). āIs he the man who brought out a History of Witchcraft some time backāten years or more?ā
āThatās the man; do you remember the reviews of it?ā
āCertainly I do; and whatās equally to the point, I knew the author of the most incisive of the lot. So did you: you must remember John Harrington; he was at Johnās in our time.ā
āOh, very well indeed, though I donāt think I saw or heard anything of him between the time I went down and the day I read the account of the inquest on him.ā
āInquest?ā said one of the ladies. āWhat has happened to him?ā
āWhy, what happened was that he fell out of a tree and broke his neck. But the puzzle was, what could have induced him to get up there. It was a mysterious business, I must say. Here was this manānot an athletic fellow, was he? and with no eccentric twist about him that was ever noticedāwalking home along a country road late in the eveningāno tramps aboutāwell known and liked in the placeāand he suddenly begins to run like mad, loses his hat and stick, and finally shins up a treeāquite a difficult treeā...