Maeās bicycle tires kicked up orange dust while red lights flashed in the driveway behind her. Usually kids ran toward ambulance sirens, not away from them. But Mae wasnāt curious. She knew why the ambulance was there.
Never mind it was her birthday.
Sheād been in the backyard with her sister, parents, and her best friend, Jimmy Mac, admiring her birthday cake. It sat in the center of the picnic table. Sheād taken a breath big enough to blow out all eleven candles when her sister began gasping for air. It was the second time this month. Shelby struggling to breathe.
Maeās older sister had been in a wheelchair since the time sheād outgrown a stroller. She had never walked or talked on account of when she was in her mamaās stomach. The umbilical cord got tangled around her neck. It stayed tight for too long and cut off the oxygen to her brain. Shelby had something called cerebral palsyāthe most severe type.
So instead of āHappy Birthday to You,ā it was the blaring noise of James and Rickyās ambulance. Mae was on a first-name basis with the townās paramedics partly because Jessup, Georgia, was a small townāpopulation: 2,483, give or take. And partly because the paramedics showed up at her house on a semi-regular basis. Most of the time the scareāepisode, seizure, whatever it wasāwouldnāt last long. But it didnāt matter. It always caused a jumble of feelings for Mae. Fear. Helplessness. Guilt.
āMae! Wait!ā Jimmy Mac hollered. She turned and saw him standing in the middle of the street. He was wasting his breath. This was one of those times sheād rather be alone.
When Mae reached the four-way stop, she looked to the left. That way led to the river lined with rocks big enough for sitting on. Itās where she usually went when things got scary for Shelby. When Mae wanted to get away and think, or, as her daddy said, escape.
Like the time, almost exactly two years agoāthe day after Maeās ninth birthdayāwhen Shelby had nearly died. And it was all Maeās fault.
Now here she was again. Instead of celebrating her eleventh birthday, Mae was feeling smaller than a gnat. But there was something different this time. Something pulling her in the opposite direction. A tiny voice whispering, This way, Mae.
She was one for listening to the little voice inside because when she ignored it, things tended to turn messy. Mostly because of her big mouth.
Like when she was in second grade and Dr. Heery had made her wear an eye patch on account of her lazy eye. Itād made no sense to her. āWhy are you covering the good one?ā sheād asked him. He explained the good eye had to be covered so the muscles in the lazy eye would get exercised.
At school, Bubba Duncan took to calling her āPatch,ā and Maeās inner voice told her to be the bigger second grader and ignore him. But during a game of dodgeball, it was āPatch thisā and āPatch thatāāand she couldnāt help herself.
āAt least my patch is gonna come off in three months. Youāll always be double-wide, Double Wide,ā sheād hollered, launching the red ball toward him like a torpedo. Bubba was the size of an eighth grader in second grade.
The teacher on recess duty had only heard the double-wide part and saw the big red welt on Bubbaās cheek. Mae got sentenced to a week of no recess and an apology letter. She got two more days after she wrote:
Dear Bubba,
I am sorry you are as big as a double-wide trailer.
Yours truly,
Mae Moore
Today, as Mae straddled her bike at the stop sign, the voice she heard was soft but sure. So instead of taking off for the river, she turned right.
Mae rode along the two-lane road for a quarter mile until Mrs. Willene Hampton pulled even with her. Her blue Buick was as big as a tank, and she had to holler over its clackety clanking. āMae Ellen, howās your sister doing?ā
āSheās goodāhasnāt had an episode in over a month now.ā Mae stared straight ahead. She was a terrible liar, and her huge hazel eyes always gave her away.
āGlad to hear it. Sheās in my prayers,ā Mrs. Willene added.
āMm-hmm,ā Mae hummed, hoping todayās ambulance visit was a false alarm and Shelby would be just fine when she got back home.
āYou be careful riding on the road. Theyāll give anybody a driverās license these days,ā Mrs. Willene said, waving as she drove off.
The Buick picked up speed and zigzagged across the centerline until it vanished down the hill.
She thought back to the day Mrs. Willene had gotten her car. Mae had been sitting on the bench outside the Piggly Wiggly where her mama worked as head cashier. She was eating a chocolate-chocolate chip cookie when Mrs. Willene drove down Main Street honking her horn. She pulled into the parking space reserved for the Employee of the Month, landing her front tire on the curb. Customers spilled out of the Piggy Wiggly and Smithās Hardware next door to see what the commotion was.
āDavis signed with the Braves! He went in the 35th round!ā Mrs. Willene had shouted loud enough for the entire town to hear. āHe went down to Cecilās this morning and bought me this here Buick with his signing money!ā
But that was at least two years ago. Davis never made it past the single A team. Something about an out-of-control temper, back problems, and drugs. The Braves released him, and Jessupās high school hero had returned a nobody. And the car he bought from Cecilās Classic Used Cars turned out to be more lemon than classic.
Mae shook the cobwebs of that April loose. She needed to pick up speed if she was going to top the hill. She stood from her bicycle seat and pedaled hard. Sheād gone this way before, but it didnāt seem so steep in a car.
She finally reached the peak and stopped. Mae considered putting both feet on the handlebars and coasting all the way down or riding hands-free, arms straight in the air like sheād seen in the commercials for roller-coaster parks, when she noticed a sign on the side of the road:
HOPEWELL COMMUNITY CHURCH
DRIVE-THRU PRAYER
EVERY TUESDAY AND THURSDAY
3:30-6:00 P.M., ALL SUMMER
ALL WELCOME!
Drive-thru prayer? Mae wondered. Jessup had a drive-in movie theater where movies played after theyād shown in the sit-in theater, two towns over. Mae wondered if drive-thru prayer worked by hooking up the speaker to your car. Maybe folks at Hopewell thought it was a direct line to God.
What if? Mae thought as she lingered a second longer. Nah.
She hushed the tiny voice whispering inside her head. She remembered a few years back when sheād prayed for Shelby every single day. Mae was eight; Shelby eleven. But it hadnāt mattered. Shelby still couldnāt walk or talk or do what other sisters did. Mae decided then that praying didnāt work. There wasnāt any use in hoping things could be different.
She turned her bike around and headed for the river, remembering it was best to get used to things the way they were. Still, whenever Shelby had a seizure or trouble breathing, Mae couldnāt get used to the look of fear on her parentsā faces or the hurt in her own heart.
If only she could find a reason to hope again.
The next day, Mae and Jimmy Mac met on the baseball field behind the school. It was half dirt and half weeds but had a decent backstop.
Mae set her bat on the ground then threw the baseball high in the air, catching it in her glove. āWanna catch pop flies?ā
āNo.ā Jimmy Mac tapped the basketball in his arms.
āPractice laying down bunts?ā Mae punched her glove hard with the baseball.
āNot really.ā Jimmy Mac bounced his basketball on the ground. It landed on a rock and skittered away.
Mae stopped it with her foot. āWhereās your glove?ā she asked.
āI was thinking we could play something else.ā
Mae kicked the basketball to Jimmy Mac. āSomething else?ā
āYeah,ā Jimmy Mac answered. āDonāt you ever get tired of baseball?ā
āNo.ā
Jimmy Mac sighed. āWe could try basketball for a change.ā
Mae beat Jimmy Mac in every sport, including darts and horseshoes.
āHave you been practicing or something?ā Mae asked.
Jimmy Mac grinned big. āMaybe.ā
āOne game of PIG,ā Mae said. āThen youāre pitching to me.ā Jimmy Mac took off, and Mae picked up her bat and raced ahead of him.
Heat seeped through their sneakers on the basketball courtās blacktop. It was the second week of summer, and the sun was already blazing hot in southern Georgia.
Jimmy Mac tossed the basketball to Mae. She dribbled it effortlessly between her legs. She stood behind Jimmy Mac and took a shot. It went in the basket. āNothing but net,ā she said.
āNot bad,ā Jimmy Mac said.
Mae retrieved the ball and sent him a hard chest pass. He stood to the side of the goal and tossed the ball. It hit the rim and came back hard, ricocheting off his head.
āI thought you said youād been practicing?ā Mae said, running after the ball.
āYouāve got four inches on me.ā Jimmy Mac was on the short side and worried heād already reached his maximum height at the end of ...