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Scene One
As the audience enters the theatre an episode of the Empowercast podcast plays. Perhaps it plays in the bar or the foyer as they wait to enter the space. Maybe the audience can even download the podcast and listen to it on their journey to the theatre or before they come to watch the play.
The podcast episode is improvised and recorded by the actors playing CLEO, JESSICA, TAMARA and LEONIE. Maybe IZZY and MILES have a cameo. At some point they discuss and debate the feminist merits of the song āWAPā, by Cardi B (feat. Megan Thee Stallion).
As the audience takes their seats the podcast episode continues to play until the lights go down and the audience falls silent.
At some point the podcasters play the song āWAPā.
As the song plays, the lights go up to reveal SUSAN, CHRISTINA, MAGDA and CLARICE in full 1500s attire kneading dough. The song continues to play. Itās strenuous work. They knead and knead and knead as clouds of flour puff up around them.
TIME AND SPACE GLITCHES AND SHIFTS.
Scene Two
London. Trilogy Mediaās central London offices. A recording studio on the 21st floor. The room is soundproofed. Itās at once extremely corporate and also obnoxiously hip. The room is set up to record a podcast, perhaps the microphones hang from the ceiling, or sprout out from the ground. The room is full of the trappings of Silicon Valley start-up culture, maybe thereās free snacks, coffee machine, mini-fridge of craft beer, branded jellybeans, etc.
LEONIE, JESSICA, CLEO, TAMARA, IZZY and MILES are led in by ALEX
DARYL. Wow. I canāt believe you are finally here! Welcome to Trilogy! We are huge Empowercast fans, Iāve listened to every single episode, I feel like Iāve known you all my life, like weāre best friends, and we are so pumped arenāt we Alex?
ALEX. Yeah.
ALEX goes back to her iPad and swipes and types throughout most of the scene.
DARYL. Leonie, Jessica, Chloe ā
CLEO. Cleo.
DARYL. Cleo, Izzy, Tamara, Miles. Welcome to the Trilogy family! Okay, so here at Trilogy we always start the day with a feelings circle. Right, Alex?
ALEX. Yeah.
DARYL ushers them into a circle. ALEX does this while still swiping on her iPad.
DARYL. Okay. So one word. Letās do ā if your current feeling was a fruit what would it be? Iāll start. Melon.
A slightly awkward pause, until LEONIE realises sheās next.
LEONIE. Oh me? Ermā¦ A grape?
CLEO. Mango.
MILES. A banana.
JESSICA. Okay. A pineapple.
IZZY. Plum.
DARYL. Alex?
ALEX. Oh. Sorry. Kumquat.
DARYL. Great! So Alex has a few documents for you to sign now that youāre finally in the building, so weāll leave you to it for a second and be back soon to talk ideas for the new season ā help yourselves to the jellybeans!
ALEX and DARYL exit. As soon as they leave, the podcasters scream with excitement and fist-pump the air, etc.
TAMARA. This is so cool!
JESSICA. I canāt believe weāre actually here.
CLEO. I know, this is epic!
IZZY. These jellybeans are flavourless.
MILES. I just want to say well done, guys, I mean look at this. Look how far youāve come. Iām just happy to be here with you!
CLEO. Thanks, Miles. Letās take a first-day selfie!
They take a selfie. Some of them start signing the contract straight away, as others read through it.
JESSICA. Guys, it says here that we canāt say āthe titsā on the podcast ā
LEONIE. Who cares!
MILES. Have you seen how much our sign-on bonus is?
TAMARA. Thereās a champagne tap?! This canāt be real; it has to be a joke ā
ALEX and DARYL return, and ALEX starts collecting the signed contracts.
ALEX. ā thatās for external clients only.
DARYL. Right, letās get stuck into some ideas for the season. Why donāt we all take turns to pitch an idea? Who wants to start?
An ASSISTANT/NOTETAKER has also entered, we almost donāt notice them come in. The ASSISTANT is almost always there, and almost always a different person. If they arenāt taking notes, they are just around fixing things, rearranging jellybeans, restocking beer, etc. During the brainstorm, itās ALEX who takes notes on a high-tech whiteboard, or something that can be seen by the audience.
JESSICA. Oh, Iām so sorry, Daryl, but we already have an idea all ready to go for the new season. We usually take turns, and this season is my turn.
DARYL. Oh, Iām sorry, of course.
JESSICA. Izzy and Iāve got heaps of research that we think will really resonate with our ā
DARYL. Oh my God, totally, I mean the last thing I want to do is come in here and like try and change the way you do things. Right?
JESSICA. Okay, great.
DARYL. The thing is Adam, our CEO, has a certain way of doing things and he insists on brainstorms for all new seasons, no exceptions. Itās about harnessing diversity of thought for inclusive decision making, eliminating groupthink. All good? Letās go!
The podcasters are caught a bit off guard and are silent for just over what is comfortable.
So, who wants to jump in first?
JESSICA. Iāll go. We were already thinking about curating a season around the menstruation cycle. It would follow the various stages of the cycle ā
ALEX writes something a bit ridiculous like āperiod chatā.
DARYL. That sounds great, Jessica. Whoās next? Iggy?
IZZY. Itās Izzy.
DARYL. Of course. Izzy.
IZZY thinks.
IZZY. Can you come back to me?
CLEO. Erm, okay. What about endometriosis?
TAMARA. Or period poverty.
MILES. Tampon tax?
Theyāve already run out of steam.
DARYL. These are all sounding quite gynecological ā
LEONIE. What about fetishes? Itās always about the white male fetish. So we could explore like unusual fetishes, from diverse perspectives ā
DARYL. I love it. Tell me more. Letās hear an example.
LEONIE canāt think of anything. CLEO jumps in to save her.
CLEO. Okay. So. My friendās friendās cousin, right, her husband has like a bit of a breast-feeding fetish, like he always wanted to suck her boobs and stuff. She didnāt mind at first but then like it got weird and he started like drinking a pint of milk before and after sex, calling her āmamacitaā and shitā¦
DARYL. Oh wow. Okay. What else have we got?
ALEX has written āMilky Sexā. The podcasters try not to panic.
IZZY. My cousin used to be a stripper.
DARYL. Erm, okay. Great. Anyone else?
An awkward silence. It goes on for longer than is comfortable. LEONIE suddenly remembers ā
LEONIE. Oh my God! What about that Slackerz story you were telling us about, Jessica?
DARYL. Slackerz as in ...
