Gratitude has a story to tell. It is a story that winds through the valleys, channels, and byways of the human story. The tale of gratitude is one of cooperation and sharing, of giving and receiving, of weaving together that pattern of social interdependence that characterizes the human journey. There is a climax to the story of gratitude for it leads to the heart of the human psyche where it unveils valuable wisdom that is relevant to our times and offers critical messages of hope and mental wellbeing. Gratitude elevates what is most admirable and noble in human nature. The story of gratitude has been partially documented, with chapters written by saints and researchers, psychologists and social psychologists, and anthropologists and theologians. This book attempts, in its own humble way, to tell that story by following the breadcrumbs along the pathway left by many able theorists and seekers.

The origins of the story are no longer discernible by investigating the gestures of appreciation that characterize social graces and the expressions of grateful sentiment. Rather, the origins of gratitude emerge out of the mists of ancestral human origins, in times before memory, when a particularly clever primate began to stand on two legs and survey the world from a higher vantage point. An emerging reflective consciousness allowed us to not only peer across the landscape but to peer into the future, to see beyond the moment into the promise of another life in a faraway place, a way of living that allowed us to touch and influence virtually every aspect of life. This emerging awareness turned its imagination to the heavens and saw the patterns of a universe that was beyond the scope of human understanding; patterns that spoke of a harmony of breath-taking beauty. The limitless landscape of the universe introduced mystery and a sense of awe to the story. It is here that the human psyche was shaped and molded, in the awareness of spring and summer, of the coming winter, of earth-shaking volcanoes and storms, in the journey shared with mammoths, bears, of flying reptiles and darting butterflies, and in the bands of humans that roamed the savannahs.

The first inklings of gratitude are never far away from the human tendency to share what we have with others. The predilection for engaging in give and take, and the ability to share the bounty of the earth, is precisely what bound early human primates into more cohesive social groups than had yet been known in any of the primate species. The exchange of food, the sharing of water and shelter, the ability to share responsibilities for childrearing and defense, and the offering of emotional support are the adhesives that knitted these groups into highly functioning tribal units and societies. For many theorists, it is just this cooperation that is the defining feature of our species.

The practice of exchanging resources, also known as reciprocity, proved so valuable that it became the expected behavior, so much so that if you happen to have more than others you would also feel the social pressure to distribute that bounty among others in the tribe. The expectations for sharing culminate in the internalized norms of balanced and reciprocal exchange of resources that allow families and tribal groups to thrive and evolve. Children learn from their first days that sharing with others is the expectation of the social group, indeed one that is essential for both the group as a whole and group members individually to weather the challenging times and periods of privation. The cohesion created by norms of sharing is considered by some to be one of the significant advantages that allowed humans to thrive.

It was not enough to have a well-articulated set of standards for sharing and cooperation. After all, human nature also has a selfish and self-serving dimension that wants to dominate or have advantage over others. Early human social groups devised ways to detect those individuals who are not completely conforming to the social norms of sharing and are somehow cheating the system. Practices that discourage or punish such offenders are part of the social fabric of all societies. Exposure, gossip, and banishment are all effective ways to detect and discourage the temptation of a group member to take more than a fair or allotted portion of goods. The facility for language and the intricacy of human relationships greatly accelerated the social nature of this emerging species. The spoken word opened up the ability to tell the stories of human origin and of the relationship to the plants and other animals. Language allowed us to communicate norms and social standards that are essential for a tribe to function, and to gossip about those individuals who fail to live up to the group norms and expectations.

What can be intuited in the human story is that the sharing of resources, the offering of food, and the gift of support were integral companions to the bands who hunted and foraged in the forests and savannahs of ancestral environments. There are distinct feelings associated with sharing gifts. Receiving a gift creates an awareness of obligation, a feeling that must be fulfilled by repaying that gift with something of equal value. Unless the need to return a gift or favor is reciprocated in some way, feelings of mild distress tend to persist. Feelings of obligation and indebtedness are strong motivators that can drive human behavior toward a norm of duty and responsibility.

Sentiments of gratitude are not yet part of the story. The plot becomes more intriguing when it becomes clear that people are not only relating to one another out of obligation—returning favor for favor in the marketplace of the sharing of goods, support, and resources—but relating to each other from feelings of empathy and caring. Humans have a well-developed ability to put themselves in the place of another, to understand their circumstances, and to feel what they are feeling. This empathic ability is hardwired into the fabric of the human nervous system and the human psyche and it predisposes us to share in the sufferings of others, and to actively become one with their joys and celebrations. Actively sharing an emotional climate with another is a talent that has obviously been honed over many millennia for it is at the core of social cohesion and cooperation. It is also thought to explain the puzzling human tendency to give generously to others with little thought of return. On the surface, it seems counterintuitive that members of a species would sacrifice so much of their time and energy in the service of others without an expectation of any return. Such altruism appears to be generosity taken to an extreme and unsustainable level. From one perspective, it would seem that such deliberate self-sacrifice would only serve to diminish the overall fitness of an individual, making him or her much less likely to thrive. Altruistic behavior challenges the established assumptions of what it means to thrive, and points to a feature of human nature that is able to transcend personal interest and advancement.

The elements of the plot are in place and the stage has been set for gratitude to enter. Gratitude emerges from a relationship between heart and head. The head makes the determination that another person has offered a gift out of kindness and generosity, without any expectation of returning the favor with a similar gift. The way in which you know that you are grateful is from the warm feelings that emerge from being the recipient of the generosity of another. It may be felt as a warm feeling arising in the chest and radiating out through the rest of the body. Some experience a feeling of release or a wave of tender feelings, of acceptance, comfort, and security. It may include elements of admiration and inspiration. When the feeling of gratitude is profound, it may be associated with feelings of being blessed, of being witnessed, and of awe. While the emotion of gratitude may be mixed with other feelings or be combined with them, it has an identifiable profile. The feeling is difficult to describe, but it is not likely to be missed or overlooked.

Gratitude is much more than a passive response. It involves a way of seeing the world. It is a shift in perspective that transforms the half-empty glass to a glass that is brimming with fulfillment and possibility. It is a transformation in how the world is interpreted and understood. Gratitude is like the turning of a key in a lock. Another view of the world opens up and the more gratitude there is, the more that door opens. Gratitude is its own reward, being the pleasure that comes from seeing what is good in the world and what is noble in human nature. As with all emotion, gratitude is a subjective experience, one that shares the intimate places of the heart of an individual. At the same time, it is a relational experience that occurs between individuals. To be the recipient of generosity is to share something of that other person. In close relationships, there is frequent sharing between two people, and each instance of sharing is another opportunity for a grateful response to emerge. A strong feeling of connection can also be a part of the experience of gratitude, and when the experience happens repeatedly over time, it helps to form strong bonds between people, transforming the nature of their relationship.

If the story ended here it would be a satisfying one. As it turns out, there is more to be grateful for in the world. Buried within the human heart is an inquisitive thirst to search for meaning in the world. Every corner of the world is open to be explored and deciphered, every facet of life upturned and investigated. The depths of the human spirit and the heights of imagination have always been the source of that exploration, and gratitude has been the constant companion to that search for meaning and the recognition of the vastness of the universe. Finding one’s place in the universe, finding where one belongs within the limitless starry heavens, is an invitation to feel overwhelming awe and the peace that comes with profound gratitude.

There is something compelling about the emotion of gratitude. It uplifts the spirit in a way that motivates us to want to do a positive action, to be of service to others and to the world, to give without thoughts of return. Religions across time have co-opted the power of gratitude in their devotional practices, making gratitude not only a moral sentiment but a spiritual sentiment as well. Although it would be possible to tell a different story about the dark side of the human spirit, one filled with horrific acts and unspeakable atrocities, it is the noble elements of the human soul that have, thus far, triumphed over the forces of destruction and chaos. In a realistic and fundamental way, gratitude is part of the antidote to such forces. To see the world not from scarcity but from abundance, to approach the world with optimism rather than fear, these are the lessons that gratitude has to teach. Gratitude is both a recognition of what is best in the world and what is best in humanity. No matter how the story is told, gratitude seems to lead to an inevitable happy ending.