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Leading by Coaching
How to deliver impactful change one conversation at a time
Nick Marson
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eBook - ePub
Leading by Coaching
How to deliver impactful change one conversation at a time
Nick Marson
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About This Book
Leadership used to be about telling people to go where you sent themâ now it's about persuading them to come with you.
Old leaders needed to create an artificial persona of infallible authority to issue orders that were obeyed â today's leaders need to uncover their own authentic leadership personality and bring that open and honest self to conversations that bring others to willing and lasting change.
To do so effectively they need to unlearn old leadership behaviours and develop totally different ones. In Leading by Coaching Nick Marson shows how. Leaders are shown how to "Look In" to develop greater self-awareness, "Look Out" to others by utilising a coaching approach, and "Look Beyond" to face uncertainty, manage adaptability and acquire resilience.
Marson's approach is based on deeply researched principals, multiple social science disciplines, the latest cognitive, neurological and psychological research, and in-depth research interviews with over 20 CEOs and senior executives. It has been developed and refined over many years of practice.
If leaders want to drive impactful change, they need to understand how to hold the coaching conversations that power it. They need to lead by coaching.
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Theme IILooking OutâCoaching
Overview
Theme II answers the question, how can I use the knowledge about how my brain works and how I work gained in Theme I to help me work better with others?
Theme II provides a framework and the basic tools for coaching conversations with tomorrowâs business leaders. Coaching conversations are dissected scientifically to illuminate the interaction of the players on the coaching stage.
Conversations matter in business. The purpose of leaders is to make sense to their followers, so that they can engage in a shared vision by defining and polishing their personal goals. Ultimately successful delivery of strategy requires a meeting of minds and the energy for collaborative action.
The more quality conversations , the less opportunities the brain has for making its own assumptions . The brain is systemic , meaning making, always looking for patterns based on purpose. Coaching helps people find where they can bring all their talents to achieving the goals of the organisation.
The Parallel Mind THINK DO Coaching Model is based on Gestalt, a systemic approach in the pursuit of wholeness through creative growth.
Theme II explains the fundamental scientific principles of why coaching works. And how to make coaching conversations work for you, using your whole mind. Fundamentally a coaching conversation is one in which you listen to someone, so they can hear themselves. People just want to feel witnessed and understood. They want to be coached by someone who they trust enough to confide in, and who cares about their welfare and growth.
The instrument of coaching is the coach and their most powerful tool is SILENCE. Deep listening, witnessing another human being, helps them understand their story , think about their thinking and find ways of moving on.
In a time-poor world, quality coaching conversations drive the most efficient use of human capital.
My Coaching Journey
My book is written to guide you on your path to becoming a leadership coach. You donât have to declare yourself as a coach in order to have coaching conversations . There are many different expressions of coaching, a full spectrum of coaching activities, from formal coaching sessions to informal everyday coaching conversations . Leading by Coaching is a leadership style. You can, however, decide to become a leadership coach . Being a coach as well as a leader . Making coach a separate part of your identity.
There may be a multitude of reasons you might want to become a leadership coach in your own right. The starting point will probably be that you enjoy coaching! You may like to help people develop, especially talented people. You may want tomorrowâs leaders to be your legacy. You may want to leave your organisation as a more sustainable business, able to adapt better with a new breed of leaders. More than any other activity coaching can, in whatever form, have a powerful impact on change in any organisation.
All good coaching conversations start with a sincere desire to help a fellow human being on their journey . The greatest impact of coaching is when your sole focus is on improving the working lives of others through coaching conversations .
It is important to understand that my book, Leading by Coaching, is not designed as a self-help manual. There is no substitute for professional coach training (see the Parallel Mind Leadership Coaching offering at the end of this book), and formal coaching activities should always be supervised by a qualified coach supervisor. This chapter specifically, and the book generally, will not replace the actual experience of coaching, however will give you a good picture of what is involved and a framework for your Leading by Coaching conversations . I repeat the themes and principles of my book throughout the text to help you reinforce your learning and place them in your context.
If you are new to coaching, it will give you a space to think about who you are as a coach and give you some ideas for your coaching. If you are an experienced coach, my book will give you a chance to reinforce what you already know and provide you with some new learning insights . I want to provoke your thinking âlead you to fresh perspectives and new opportunities to grow.
Wherever you are on your coaching journey I hope Leading by Coaching inspires you to develop your unique coach signature presence and expand your coaching footprint.
My book, unlike so many other books on leadership and coaching , strings together a multitude of threads into a âtheory of everythingâ so you can see the complete picture without having to read a plethora of books and journals, as I have done over the years. Leading by Coaching is your guide to inspire you to think about, reflect on and experiment with your endless coaching possibilities, looking in, looking out, and looking beyond. I hope it will be your personal companion on your Leading by Coaching journey to help the future leaders in your care find their authentic voice through purposeful, meaningful and insightful conversations.
Before you start reading Theme II, I want to share with you my story as a coach and some stories from my coaching.
My Coach Story
Trainer
The starting point of my business education journey began in my marketing director role in Standard Chartered Bank. My responsibilities included sales training in new products and call centre management. I enjoyed helping my colleagues learn and develop their skills, and the feedback reflected my enthusiasm. It became clear to me that my vocation lay beyond the shackles of my office-bound desk to the wider world of helping people learn, develop and grow. When the opportunity arose, I decided to change career direction and enrolled on a full-time Post Graduate Certificate in Education and training at the University of Wales, Cardiff.
Teacher
I loved my time as a mature student on the teaching course. My business experience quickly attracted younger students to ask for my counsel and I unwittingly became a role model. I loved being a learner. I quickly realised that learning was about change, and we all deal with change differently. We all learn differently, so a teaching by coaching style, that targets individualâs different learning needs, is the most effective way to teach. The affective learning domain, concerned with attitudes, emotions and feelings, is where the deepest, most internalised and, therefore, most permanent learning, takes place. As a teacher, you have to hold up a mirror to your learners, so that your teaching reflects their moods and body language.
I enjoyed teaching at my local colleges in Newport and Bristol. Later in my career, my teaching qualifications and experience helped me get a lecturing post at the University of Munich, teaching intercultural communication skills to over 200 international undergraduates. There is an overlap between teaching and coaching. They both rely on listening and facilitation skills to create a reflective learning experience. They both need the stillness of silence to create the space for thinking .
Coach
My big breakthrough as a coach started on an industrial estate outside Cardiff in 1999. I met a young lady at the reception of a company that was servicing the wheelchair for my son Christopher who told me her father, who was the Managing Director of Black Isle Consultants, was looking for someone like me to train up as a communication skills consultant. The next thing I knew I was in Hong Kong, in the year of the Dragon, being trained by John Miers, the Chairman of the British company, in the receiver-driven communication skills that he had learnt from his previous business partner, Lee Bowman Junior. Lee coached Bill Clinton in the same skills and his father Lee Bowman coached Ronald Reagan, the so-called, âgreat communicatorâ.
Two years later, I set up my own training and coaching company for business leaders, The Parallel Mind Ltd, now focusing on training leaders in coaching skills based on the principles and ideas set out in this book.
My Coaching Stories
Over the last decade, I have had the privilege of coaching many different people in many different businesses. I want to share my personal insights from the many coaching conversations I have enjoyed. I want you to know the power that even informal conversations have to change peopleâs thinking and take a different path. In these conversations, looking back, the following three truths emerged to me about the power of coaching conversations through the instrument of the coach, to change peopleâs lives.
My Coaching Truths
My First Truth: The Power of Listening
My first truth is that people need someone who they can trust to listen deeply and witness who they are. The simple act of listening to someone helps them hear themselves. It helps them validate who they are and the difference they want to make. It helps them to clarify their thinking , to clear their path, and see more clearly the way ahead. I remember many informal conversations, over a coffee or a beer, with senior associates of international law firms about their frustration at not becoming a partner fast enough. They felt stuck and powerless to change their situation.
Over a period of many months and many conversations, their truth started to emerge. These witnessing conversations helped them to become unstuck and move on. They said that th...