In this chapter, we will be exploring some important questions about hearing voices, such as:

For the last few years, the two of us have been working together in leading the development, training, and research of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) for voice-hearing, which is an approach that tries to help people learn to develop compassionate ways of relating with themselves and their voices. In this time, we have run numerous events and workshops in different countries, produced videos, and written articles. Our events have been attended by many voice-hearers, their friends and relatives, and the mental health professionals who support them. The reason we are writing this book is that we want to share some of the ideas and wisdom we have learnt over the years. What this book will do is help us understand what voices are, what they may represent, and how we can learn to work with them in a way that leads to a more peaceful relationship. Many people discover that when they understand their voices better, don’t fight with them, and learn how to relate to them in a calmer and more confident way, they are able to live their lives with much less fear and a greater sense of contentment and joy.

The ideas and approaches in this book have emerged from the experiences of people who have suffered hugely because of distressing voices yet have gone on to cope successfully with them and to lead happy and fulfilling lives. For some of these people, their relationship with their voices changed so much that the voices became friends and allies. Some people tell us that they would actually miss their voices if the voices went away. Of course, you might be reading this thinking that this does not apply to you – that it seems so far away from the type of relationship or experience that you have with your voices as to be totally unrelatable. If so, that is a very understandable way to feel. We realise that there is such a wide range of different experiences with voices – an infinite range, in fact. It might be helpful just to keep in mind your own understanding of your voices, and to look after yourself while engaging with these ideas. The same applies to your voices, who may also find that this does not apply to them, or perhaps have some reaction to what we are telling you. If so, bring the voices in. For example, if a voice is telling you not to read the book, ask what is it worried about? Is there anything that would help it feel less threatened? Perhaps, you could remind the voice that one of the authors is a voice-hearer herself. After speaking with many voice-hearers, we also find it is not uncommon for voices to feel frustrated with being in a negative, argumentative relationship with the person who hears them, so maybe it would be helpful to remind them that there may be benefits for them too if you read this book. Whatever you decide, look after yourself and your voices by considering what you need to feel safe in this moment.

In this respect, it is increasingly clear that the presence of voices isn’t so much of a problem as the type of relationship we have with our voices. In other words, someone who feels very distressed by their voices is far more likely to struggle with them; and this, in turn, is more likely to happen when the person is also experiencing other difficulties in their lives. For example, this might include: