Academy Mandate. The feeling by Oscar winners that an award for their film work is a validation of their personal beliefs. Examples: Vanessa Redgrave’s “Zionist hoodlum” speech; Oliver Stone’s insistence that his awards for Platoon were an anti–Vietnam War statement by the Academy; Richard Attenborough’s accepting the Oscar for Gandhi the movie on behalf of Gandhi the man; James Cameron asking for a moment of silence for the Titanic victims, etc.

Accentuating Evil. The xenophobic and frequently anglophobic practice of defining villains by their distinctive accents, from twangy southern sheriffs to meticulously dictioned elitist snobs to wheezing Teutonic mad scientists. The hiring of British actors to play accented villains is particularly prevalent. Examples: Alec Guinness in Hitler: The Last Ten Days, Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man, Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove, Jeremy Irons in Reversal of Fortune, The Lion King, Die Hard 3, etc.

Acquariamcam. Underwater action scenes, even in the dirty waters of major ports, are always crystal clear, pristine, and well lit. Although characters are submerged longer than it would take me to get a popcorn refill, upon surfacing they start talking immediately.

Actress Inferior Position. In movie sex scenes, which are usually directed by men, the POV at the moment of climax is almost always the man’s, so that we see the actress, not the actor, losing control.

AC-WAT-NOBI Movie. A Cop with a Theory No One Believes In.

Against All Odds Rule. In an apparently fatal situation from which there is no possible hope of survival, it is certain the characters will survive. In a situation where there is any apparent chance of survival, there will be at least some deaths.

The Agent Did It! In any film involving an unknown killer, if a moderately well-known actor is given costar billing yet only appears for, say, five minutes in the first hour and a half, he or she is almost guaranteed to be revealed at the climax as the murderer, complete with flamboyant mad scene leading up to a spectacular death.

Aging Blood Syndrome. Tendency of movie blood to look more and more like gushes of slightly crimson motor oil every year (as in all nineties horror and action movies), as opposed to anything possibly resembling real blood (as in The Wild Bunch).

“Ain’t Nobody Here but Us Chickens.” Whenever someone is alone at home at night and they hear a sound in the house and ask aloud, “(Name), is that you?” it never is.

Airline Flight Rules. Movie characters travel only first class. They are never seated near crying babies. All flights are full, but they are always able to walk right on and take their seats without waiting behind someone cramming a suitcase into an overhead rack. Although other passengers on the flight may recline their seats, the main characters can only be seated in the full upright position, because if they reclined the result would be an unattractive camera angle up their nostrils.

Air Vent Escape Route. If the hero is imprisoned in a building owned by the villains, there will inevitably be an air vent cover that is not screwed in and is easily removed. The passageway will be large enough to accommodate any size person. The escape route will pass over the room where the bad guys are discussing the details of their diabolical plan, which the hero will now be able to foil.

Alan Alda Rule. Any character in a murder mystery who is excessively helpful to the main character invariably turns out to be the killer (if he or she isn’t dead by the second reel). Named for Alda because he’s done it at least twice.

Alarm Clock Rule. If an electric clock is given a close-up, it will be either twenty-nine minutes past the hour, or one minute to the hour. The time will progress one minute, waking up the hero with a song that is important to the plot.

Alien Berlitz Communication Rule (ABC Rule). Movie aliens are able to learn the local language (English, French, Japanese, etc.) in an amazingly short time. Frequently this includes the ability to reproduce recognizable Earth-like accents. See also “Universal Translator.”

Ali MacGraw’s Disease. Movie illness in which only symptom is that the sufferer grows more beautiful as death approaches.

All-Seeing Camera. The remarkable ability of a stationary surveillance camera or news camera operated by a lone cameraman to film or video an incident from several different angles and distances all at once. When played back, the resulting film or videotape exactly duplicates the original point of view of the audience, right down to the sequence of the montage. See Enemy of the State, etc.

All the News That’s Scripted, We Print. All media coverage depicted in a movie will prominently feature the main character, no matter how incidental his or her involvement is to the big story. His picture makes Page One, and CNN thoroughly documents his simple presence in a crowd. See Godzilla, in which TV news reports pass up footage of a giant rampaging lizard in favor of shots of Matthew Broderick carrying his luggage, digging a hole, etc.

Angelic Bicyclist. Whenever movie characters are seen blissfully riding their bicycles with eyes closed and arms outstretched like angel’s wings, there is a strong likelihood that they are about to collide with a massive object and be killed.