Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

Babe Walker

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Australia
• eBook ISBN:
  9781925030594
• Year: 2014

If you’re one of the hundreds of thousands who devoured Babe Walker’s New York Times bestselling novel White Girl Problems or one of the million people who read her blog or follow her on Twitter daily, then you’ve obviously been waiting with bated breath for her hilarious follow-up novel, Psychos.

Fresh from a four-month stint in rehab for her “alleged” shopping addiction, Babe Walker returns home to Bel Air ten pounds lighter (thanks to a stomach virus), having made amends (she told a counselor with bad skin she was smart) and confronted her past (after meeting her birth mother for the first time—a fashion model turned farmer lesbian). Although delighted to be home and determined to maintain her hard-won inner peace, Babe now faces a host of outside forces seemingly intent on derailing her path to positive change. Not only is she being trailed by an anonymous stalker, but she’s also reunited with the love of her life, a relationship that she cannot seem to stop self-sabotaging.

Babe’s newfound spirituality, coupled with her faith in the universe and its messages, leads her all over the world: shoulder dancing in Paris, tripping out in Amsterdam, and hooking up in the Mediterranean, only to land her back in New York City, forced to choose between a man who is perfect in every way (except for one small detail) and a man who could be The One if only he didn’t drive Babe to utter insanity.

Unapologetic and uproarious, Psychos is the send-up of the season—already as timeless as vintage Dior.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Dedication
• Epigraph
• One: Float in the Light.
• Two: Trying to Do More Regular-People Stuff.
• Three: Full. Body. Chills.
• Four: Be the Peace You Wish to Create and Get the Fuck Out of This Car.
• Five: I’m Not Wearing a Cute Death Outfit.
• Six: I Can’t. I Can’t. I Can’t. I Can’t. I Can’t. I Can’t.
• Seven: A Doberman Named Larry and a German Shepherd Named Tarzan.
• Eight: Rehab Is for Pussies.
• Nine: Move, Grow, Lose, Find.
• Ten: Food Is Not What I’m Hungry For.
• Eleven: A Safe Space to Get Stoned and Drink Diet Coke.
• Twelve: Stronger Than Yesterday.
• Thirteen: It’s Fine, Dad.
• Fourteen: He Spooned the Fuck Out of Me.
• Fifteen: So . . . Babe Is Your Actual Name?
• Sixteen: Namaste, Universe. Namaste.
• Seventeen: Totally Yumster.
• Eighteen: You Look Homeless, but Not in a Good Way.
• Nineteen: Get Off My Dick.
• Twenty: I Promise I’ll Never Fart.
• Twenty-One: Stalker Potential.
• Twenty-Two: The Least Chic Outfit in the History of Babe.
• Epilogue
• Acknowledgments
• About Babe Walker
• Copyright