I, Maybot

The Rise and Fall

John Crace

• Publisher: Guardian Faber Publishing
• Year: 2017
• eBook ISBN: 9781783351442
• Edition: 0

'The Maybot is rebooted as strong and humble. Stumble for short.' 'Kim Jong-May awkward and incredulous as journalist asks question.' 'Supreme leader produces pure TV Valium on The One Show.'

Throughout 2017 John Crace, the Guardian's parliamentary sketch writer, has watched Prime Minister Theresa May's efforts to remain strong and stable - and, indeed, Prime Minister. He coined the term 'Maybot' for her malfunctioning public appearances. And now, in this edited collection of his unremittingly witty sketches, he tells the full story of Theresa May's turbulent first year in Westminster.

As waspishly hilarious as Craig Brown's diaries in Private Eye, I, Maybot is essential and hysterically funny reading for anyone trying to make sense of our crazy political year.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Landing Page
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction
• Over to you, says puffy-eyed Cameron as the Brexit vultures circle
• Boris’s career undone by a Poundland Lord and Lady MacGove
• Boris? Michael? Andrea? Theresa rules the roost after manic Monday
• Choosing a cabinet might be fun after all, thought Theresa
• Talk to the hand, Leadsom: Theresa May’s perfect first day
• Theresa could have reinvented herself as anyone – but she came as Maggie
• So Brexit means Brexit means Brexit. Is that it?
• Brexit means never having to say you’re sorry (or anything at all)
• The PM’s Brexit confusion is contagious
• Talk to the hand, Theresa, because the EU aren’t listening
• Theresa struggles to take back control – from her own Maybot
• Hammond warned against Brexit and no one listened. Now it’s payback
• Theresa May feels the love from her cabinet after unhappy Eurotrip
• Theresa May stumbles on a question of thought
• Sophy Ridge gets her money shot from the Maybot
• Maybot fails to channel happier times with theme of social injustice
• It’s not EU, it’s us: Maybot outlines Brexit divorce plan
• David Davis sees Article 50 defeat as a win in his alternative facts narrative
• Theresa May and Trump: PM shows lengths she’ll go to for Britain
• The Undertaker’s budget brings death, taxes then a crazy kamikaze attack
• Philip Hammond digs deep as he explains his NICs U-turn
• Maybot stuck on repeat as Sturgeon lets rip over referendum
• End of the affair: May finds breaking up with EU is hard to do
• David Davis: the UK’s secretary of state for badly needing a lie-down
• Dead-eyed Theresa May puts the Tories’ interests first
• May convinces MPs that Brexit requires her strong and ignorant leadership
• Kim Jong-May awkward and incredulous as journalist asks question
• Labour’s hint of a pulse leaves Theresa May unsated
• Supreme Leader produces pure TV Valium on The One Show
• Cries of ‘Corbyn, Corbyn’ filled the hall. He had waited a lifetime for this
• Close your eyes and believe in your strong and stable Supreme Leader
• Dim and Dimmer: two Tory car crashes for the price of one
• Maybot policy reboot ends in an embarrassing interview meltdown
• ‘It’s very clear’: May disappears into a dreamland of her own
• The Hand is left to do the heavy lifting while Maybot reboots
• Up against the Maybot, Corbyn struggles not to be a personality
• Maybot malfunctions under pressure over disappearing police
• It had come down to this: vote Maybot, she’s a bit better than Corbyn
• The Maybot asked us to strengthen her hand over Brexit – we declined
• The Maybot is trapped in the first phase of election grief – denial
• The Maybot is rebooted as strong and humble. Stumble for short
• Maybot’s reboot stumbles as PM struggles with self-deprecation
• State opening of parliament a crowning humiliation for Maybot
• Maybot’s magic money tree? It’ll spread the love in Belfast, says Green
• Corbyn scoffs as Theresa tells tall tales of G20 glory
• You call that a relaunch? The Maybot’s broken record is still not fixed
• Maybot’s ‘little tear’ interview: a masterclass in robot ethics
• About the Author
• Copyright