ONE
Why Am I Working?
I still remember that Monday morning in August. It was a blistering hot day in Manhattan, even in the early morning hours. I spent the typical hour getting ready, doing my hair, and making sure my makeup was just right. I had my coffee and smoothie and then headed out the door.
Just as I entered the subway station, the train was pulling away. I groaned, knowing exactly what that meant. The next eight minutes were like standing in a sauna. Iâm sure the guy next to me thought he heard a faucet running, but no, it was just the sweat draining inside my blouse while my hair was frizzing up by the minute.
I rode the subway to 50th Street and then waited for the bus for ten minutes while the heat and humidity did further damage. The bus arrived and drove the two miles to the ferry station. But just as the bus pulled into the station, the ferry pulled out. Another twenty-minute wait. What would it be next? I knew Iâd be late to work, and at this point I couldnât fathom the thought of going to the office at all.
By the time I finally arrived, I was a mess inside and out. My hair and outfit were ruined. I was exhausted from the commute. As I sat down at my desk in Jersey City overlooking the skyline of downtown Manhattan, negative thoughts flooded my head.
No one really appreciates me around here. Why am I working here anyway? They donât know my dreams, what I really want to be and do. I work hard, put in the hours, give them my best energy of the day, and for what? A paycheck that doesnât feel like enough? Stress over having to please so many people?
The discouragement brought me to tears. I knew I had to pull myself together. I wasnât being paid to waste time crying at my desk. But how could I lift myself out of this sense of despair?
At that point I serendipitously thought of the young woman sitting in the office next door. Sandra and I had met the first day I started in the Jersey City office. I was her manager, and over the course of the last year, weâd become more than just colleagues; we were friends. I helped her discover some of her dreams and worked with her to map out a plan to align her job with those dreams. She had developed significantly that year, and the satisfaction I felt from having helped her was deeply rewarding.
Thinking of Sandra through my tears helped lift the heaviness. Perhaps she was one of the main reasons I was doing this job and working hard day after day.
Sandra often told me, âYou are a gift, Lynette. Youâve helped me find my way.â Recalling this reminded me that my efforts were worth it. Helping people and changing lives do matter. This realization helped me get back in touch once again with the real reason I was working.
THE CHALLENGE: I NEED TO
FIND MEANING IN THE JOB I HAVE NOW
Have you ever felt like I did on that Monday morning? There are times when a good job and an adequate paycheck arenât enough for the energy and inconvenience it takes to get through the workday.
Often in times like this we feel especially alone. Everyone else around us appears to be coping quite well. We may look like weâre coping, but inside we wonder how long we can keep going. Can we find something thatâs better aligned with our bigger ideas and dreams? Itâs probably one of the most common, and important, questions people ask.
An extremely popular book in recent history is Rick Warrenâs The Purpose-Driven Life. In fact, at the time of this writing, it is the all-time best-selling non-fiction hardback in America. This speaks volumes about where Americans find themselves in their work spectrumâmost feel there is still something more to life than just work.
The success of Warrenâs book falls in line with a study conducted by the Barna Research Group, which shows that half of Americans are âsearching for meaning and purpose in life.â1 Author Os Guinness concurs. In his book The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life, Guinness explains, âDeep in our hearts, we all want to find and fulfill a purpose bigger than ourselves. Only such a larger purpose can inspire us to heights we know we could never reach on our own. For each of us the real purpose is personal and passionate: to know what we are here to do, and why.â2
Answering the âwhyâ question is essential if we want to have rich, deep meaning in our careers.
Answering the âwhyâ question is essential if we want to have rich, deep meaning in our careers. Women in particular seem to have something inside our hearts that demands we answer this question. We are made for meaning; we thrive by making a difference and helping others, by seeing our kids grow up to be successful adults who will make an impact on the world.
The reality, however, is that itâs not easy to derive this deeper meaning from our work. Some individuals, certainly in the minority, know what their purpose is early in life. They see themselves doing something great and find it natural to forge a pathway to get there. They arrive in their twenties or earlier, when the rest of us are just beginning to realize weâve been asking the wrong questionsâor not questioning anything at all.
Most of us simply find ourselves on a certain path or in what someone else might call a âcareer.â Yet outside of financial provision, this career often seems void of deep significance. We might have a college education or vocational training or now, after years of working, various experiences and company titles that are scattered across our rĂ©sumĂ©s.
But all these credentials donât necessarily bring meaning; they donât easily come together in answering that all-important question that hangs somewhere in the background: Why?
Why this job? Why these coworkers? Why these responsibilities in this place at this time? Why not something else? Something better? The questions beg for answersânot regularly perhaps, but occasionally, like on a bad day when itâs hot outside and you miss the train.
UNCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE
My dear friend Anne Page, president of her own communications company, and I were chatting awhile ago. She described a personal epiphany she had a few years ago, one that occurs for many women after years of working on their careers.
I stopped one day after reviewing a video I had just produced for IBM. It was a huge project; I had traveled to three continents, around the world in three weeks. It was a whirlwind, so thrilling and exciting. Iâm sitting on my sofa, viewing the results, and realizing that I cannot relate to this piece of videotape. I cannot hug it or relate to it. It was such a successful project, such a pinnacle, and it was done. I could show a video, but it was just a video; it wasnât helping me live my life as a whole person. What a lonely and sad moment. At forty-seven, I realized there was a lot I had missed. Somehow I had it wired that this was what I had to do to be successful. So I had to ask, âIs this success, sitting in my living room with this video?â It may be a successful career, but not a successful life.3
This epiphany moment led Anne to make significant changes in her life, ultimately finding more time for relationships (she met and married her soul mate) and taking time for other personal pursuits (fixing up their home). These changes have enhanced her career success while bringing greater satisfaction than ever before. In short, Anne discovered a deeper sense of purpose.
Purpose is a topic Iâve been studying in depth over the last five years. Iâve concluded that discover...