The 5 Money Personalities Guidebook

Scott Palmer, Bethany Palmer

• Publisher: HarperChristian Resources
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781401678340
• Topic: Développement personnel
• Subtopic: Finances personnelles

The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money.

Every couple argues about money. It doesn't matter if you've been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50, 000 car. And when the two of you don't see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that's when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It's why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka "The Money Couple, " have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.

With The 5 Money Personalities ™ DVD-Based Study, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You'll discover what has an impact on your loved one's money decisions, and you'll learn how to talk about money in a way that's actually fun! You'll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.

Features include:

• 12 sessions of interactive reflection and study
• Valuable discussion questions for couples and small groups

Intended for use with The 5 Money Personalities DVD-Based Study (9781401678166).

Session 1

Your Money Relationship

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)

It all starts with the vows: For richer or poorer. We stand up at our weddings and recite those vows fully expecting that we will happily stand by each other, no matter what. We have big dreams about the life we’re starting with this person we love so much.

And then life happens. It doesn’t matter if things go along just as you planned or if your plans get derailed early on. The bottom line is that life, no matter how great it is, pushes a lot of your hopes and dreams to the side. You have jobs. You have kids. You buy a house. You lose a house. Your parents get older. You find yourselves stressed out by the present and worried about the future. And over time, through no fault of your own, those dreams you had for your life together get put on the back burner and one by one, they start to dry up and disappear.

If you think about the dreams you had when you got married, most of them have some kind of money component—buying a house, having children, getting a job, moving to a new city, traveling, spending time with friends. Money doesn’t equal happiness, but money does play a part in whether our dreams turn into reality.

There’s a reason we take vows to stick together in richer or poorer. Money ripples into every part of our lives as couples. That’s why, whether you have it or you don’t, money can test a relationship.

Because money trickles out of and into just about every decision we make during the day, it’s not surprising that couples clash over money. It’s like a constant pop quiz, one you’re bound to fail unless you and your spouse have a strong Money Relationship.

Your Money Relationship is not the same thing as your financial arrangement. Your financial plans, your debt, your investments, your taxes, your budget—those make up one aspect of your life together. And that’s not what this book is about. We want to focus on the relationship behind that part of your life, your Money Relationship. That’s the part of your marriage that involves all of those little, day-to-day decisions about money.

You and your spouse started your lives together with big dreams. So now it’s time to do what it takes to reclaim those dreams, to quit arguing about money and heal your Money Relationship.

1. What percentage of relationships end over money?¹ _______

2. A Money Relationship is the decisions couples make where _________________ is involved.

3. A Money Relationship is NOT:

• ______________________________________________

• ______________________________________________

• ______________________________________________

4. A Money Relationship IS:

• ______________________________________________

• ______________________________________________

• ______________________________________________

5. You are learning how to bring ______________________ and _________________________ together.

Notes:

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INTERACTIVE DISCUSSION POINTS

1. What are your expectations for the next 90 days?

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

2. List one or two decisions you have made recently that involve money.

_____________________ _______________________

3. List ten decisions you made in the last week that involved money.

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

_____________________ _______________________

4. Now list one or two decisions that you didn’t think of as money decisions at the time, but that you now realize had a money component.

_____________________ _______________________

5. First Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage and build each other up. Take a moment to tell your partner how you would like to encourage him or her over the next twelve weeks.

WEEKLY ACTIVITY

For the next few days, write down one decision each day that involved money.

Day 1: _______________________________________________

Day 2: _______________________________________________

Day 3: _______________________________________________

Day 4: _______________________________________________

Day 5: Come together: Share your lists. Are you surprised by how often you make money decisions?

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