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Atlantis
Mark Doty
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eBook - ePub
Atlantis
Mark Doty
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About This Book
The poignant, accomplished new collection of poetry from the author of My Alexandria --1993 winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, Los Angeles Times Book Award, 1993 National Book Award Finalist.
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Topic
LetteraturaSubtopic
PoesiaAtlantis
1. FAITH
āIāve been having these
awful dreams, each a little different,
though the coreās the sameā
weāre walking in a field,
Wally and Arden and I, a stretch of grass
with a highway running beside it,
or a path in the woods that opens
onto a road. Everythingās fine,
then the dog sprints ahead of us,
excited; weāre calling but
heās racing down a scent and doesnāt hear us,
and thatās when he goes
onto the highway. I donāt want to describe it.
Sometimes itās brutal and over,
and others heās struck and takes off
so we donāt know where he is
or how bad. This wakes me
every night now, and I stay awake;
Iām afraid if I sleep Iāll go back
into the dream. Itās been six months,
almost exactly, since the doctor wrote
not even a real word
but an acronym, a vacant
four-letter cipher
that draws meanings into itself,
reconstitutes the world.
We tried to say it was just
a word; we tried to admit
it had power and thus to nullify it
by means of our acknowledgement.
I know the current wisdom:
bright hope, the power of wishing youāre well.
Heās just so tired, though nothing
shows in any tests, Nothing,
the doctor says, detectable;
the doctor doesnāt hear what I do,
that trickling, steadily rising nothing
that makes him sleep all day,
vanish into feverās tranced afternoons,
and I swear sometimes
when I put my head to his chest
I can hear the virus humming
like a refrigerator.
Which is what makes me think
you can take your positive attitude
and go straight to hell.
We donāt have a future,
we have a dog.
Who is he?
Soul without speech,
sheer, tireless faith,
he is that-which-goes-forward,
black muzzle, black paws
scouting whatās ahead;
he is where weāll be hit first,
heās the part of us
thatās going to get it.
Iām hardly awake on our morning walk
āalways just me and Arden nowā
and sometimes I am still
in the thrall of the dream,
which is why, when he took a step onto Commercial
before Iād looked both ways,
I screamed his name and grabbed his collar.
And there I was on my knees,
both arms around his neck
and nothing coming,
and when I looked into that bewildered face
I realized I didnāt know what it was
I was shouting at,
I didnāt know who I was trying to protect.ā
2. REPRIEVE
I woke in the night
and thought, It was a dream,
nothing has torn the future apart,
we have not lived years
in dread, it never happened,
I dreamed it all. And then
there was this sensation of terrific pressure
lifting, as if I were rising
in one of those old diving bells,
lightening, unburdening. I didnāt know
how heavy my life had becomeāso much fear,
so little...