My Spiritual Journey

Dalai Lama, Sofia Stril-Rever

• Publisher: HarperOne
• Year: 2010
• ISBN:
  9780062016768
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Buddhism

In this elegant self-portrait, the world's most outspoken and influential spiritual leader recounts his epic and engaging life story. The Dalai Lama's most accessible and intimate book, My Spiritual Journey is an excellent introduction to the larger-than-life leader of Tibetan Buddhism—perfect for anyone curious about Eastern religion, invested in the Free Tibet movement, or simply seeking a richer spiritual life. The Dalai Lama's riveting, deeply insightful meditations on life will resonate strongly with readers of Pema Chodron, Thich Nhat Hanh, or the His Holiness's own The Art of Happiness and Ethics for the New Millennium.

PART ONE

As a Human Being

1

Our Common Humanity

I Am No One Special

I am just a human being

THE TERM “DALAI LAMA“ takes on different meanings according to different people. For some, this term signifies that I am a living Buddha, the earthly manifestation of Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion. For others, it means that I am a “god-king.” At the end of the 1950s, to be the Dalai Lama meant fulfilling the function of “Vice President of the Steering Committee of the People’s National Congress of the People’s Republic of China.” Then, in the beginning of the exile that followed my escape, I was called a “counter-revolutionary” and a “parasite.” But none of these designations correspond to me.

As I see it, the title “Dalai Lama” represents the responsibility that has come down to me. As for me, I am just a human being, and it just so happens that I am also a Tibetan who has chosen to be a Buddhist monk. So before I narrate the events of my own spiritual journey, I would like to reflect upon what binds us all together, the essential elements of our common humanity and the compassion it calls for.

In our blood, a vital need for affection

OUR LIFE DEPENDS ON OTHERS so much that at the root of our existence there is a fundamental need for love. That is why it is good to cultivate an authentic sense of our responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others.

What is our true nature as human beings? We are not just material beings, and it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness in external development. Without going into the controversial debate over the creation and evolution of our universe, we all agree that each person is the product of his parents. For the most part, our conception involved not only the sexual desire of our parents but also their decision to have a child. Their plan was based on altruistic responsibility and the commitment to take care of us until we became independent. So from the very instant of our conception, our parents’ love was an essential factor.

Moreover, we depended entirely on our mother’s care in the beginning of our life. According to some scientists, the state of mind—calm or agitated—of a pregnant woman has an immediate physical impact on the child she is carrying.

The expression of love is also essential at birth. Since our first gesture was to suck milk from our mother’s breast, we instinctively feel closer to our mother, who must also feel love in order to feed us, for if she is angry or unhappy, her milk will not flow so freely.

Then there is the critical period of formation of the brain, from birth until the age of three or four. Affectionate physical contact is the main factor for a child’s normal growth. If he is not pampered, cuddled, loved, his development will be limited and his brain will not grow to its full potential.

Since the child cannot survive without another’s care, love is essential. These days many children grow up in unhappy homes. Deprived of affection, later on in life they will rarely love their parents and will often have trouble loving others. This is very sad.

A few years later, when children enter school, they need to be helped by their teachers. If a teacher doesn’t limit himself to academic teaching, if he also takes on the responsibility of preparing his students for life, they will have respect for him and confidence in him. The things they learn from him will leave an indelible imprint in their minds. Conversely, subjects taught by someone who doesn’t care about his students’ well-being will be of only passing interest to them and will soon be forgotten.

Similarly, when a sick person is treated at the hospital by a doctor who shows him human warmth, he feels comforted. The doctor’s wish to lavish the best care is therapeutic in itself, regardless of the technical details of medical procedures. On the other hand, when a doctor lacks empathy and seems unfriendly, impatient, or contemptuous, even if he is very famous, his diagnosis is correct, and he prescribes the most effective remedies, the sick person is still in distress.

In the case of an everyday conversation, when our interlocutor speaks to us with human feeling, we listen and respond with pleasure, so that the conversation becomes interesting even though it is quite ordinary. On the other hand, if someone speaks coldly or harshly, we feel annoyed and want to end the conversation quickly. From the smallest to the largest event, the affection and respect of others are vital elements.

Recently, I met a group of American scientists who said that the percentage of mental illness in their country was quite high—about 12 percent of the population. From the discussion, it emerged clearly that the main cause was not lack of material resources but a lack of affection.

One thing seems obvious. Whether or not we are aware of it, from the day we are born, the need for affection is in our very blood. I believe that no one is born without this need for love. And contrary to certain modern schools of thought, this demonstrates that human beings are not limited to the physical plane alone. No material object, no matter how beautiful or precious it is, can give us the feeling of being loved, because our deeper identity, our true character, is rooted in the subjective nature of the mind.

Compassion, what I sometimes also call human affection, is the determining factor of our life. Connected to the palm of the hand, the five fingers become functional; cut off from it, they are useless. Similarly, every human action becomes dangerous when it is deprived of human feeling. When they are performed with feeling and respect for human values, all activities become constructive.

My mother, a compassionate woman

I WAS BORN OF A SIMPLE FAMILY from the remote Amdo province in Tibet. As a child, I grew up surrounded by the loving-kindness of my mother, a woman of great compassion. And after I arrived in Lhasa at the age of four, everyone around me, my teachers and the servants, taught me what it means to be good, honest, and caring. That is the environment I grew up in.

Later on, my classical education in Buddhist thought exposed me to concepts such as interdependence and the human potential for infinite compassion. That allowed me to become aware of the importance of universal responsibility, nonviolence, and understanding among religions. Today faith in these values gives me a powerful motivation to promote basic human qualities. In the context of my own struggle for human rights and a greater freedom of the Tibetan people, these values continue to guide my commitment to the nonviolent path.¹

It’s time to think in human terms

WHEN I SPEAK OF KINDNESS and compassion, I am not expressing myself as a Buddhist, or as the Dalai Lama, or as a Tibetan, but rather as a human being. And I hope that you also consider yourselves as human beings, rather than as Americans, Westerners, or members of one group or another. Such distinctions are secondary. When we speak as human beings, we can touch the essential thing. If I say, “I am a monk,” or, “I am a Buddhist,” it’s a question of realities that are temporary in comparison with my human nature. The fact of having been born human is fundamental and will not change until death. The rest, whether or not you are learned, rich or poor, is secondary.

Today we are confronted with many problems. Our responsibility is directly involved in conflicts provoked by ideology, religion, race, or the economy. Consequently, the time has come for us to think in human terms, on a deeper level where we respectfully take into consideration the equality of others, for they are human beings like us. We must construct close relationships in mutual confidence, understanding, and support, without paying attention to differences of culture, philosophy, religion, or belief.

After all, all human beings are the same—made up of flesh, bone, and blood. We all want happiness, and we all try to avoid suffering. We are the members of one single human family, and our arguments are born from secondary causes. Disputes, lies, and killings are useless.

Every person we meet is our brother or sister

I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THIS POINT, which I think is essential. Each person’s happiness can make a profound, effective contribution that can improve the entire human community.

By realizing that we share the same need to be loved, we have the feeling that in every circumstance every person we meet is our brother or our sister. It doesn’t matter if their face is unfamiliar or if their appearance and behavior are unusual. There is no significant chasm between ourselves and others. It doesn’t make sense to pay attention to external differences, for our fundamental nature is identical.

In the final analysis, humanity is one, and our only home is this little planet. If we want to protect it, each one of us has to experience universal altruism. Only this feeling will eliminate the selfish motives that impel people to take advantage of each other. With a sincere and open heart, we are naturally confident and sure of ourselves, and we have nothing to fear from others.

I believe that at all levels of society—family, national, and international—the key to a better, happier world is greater compassion. It is not necessary to become religious, or to believe in an ideology. The important thing is to develop our human qualities as much as we can. I try to treat every person I meet like an old friend, and that gives me a real sensation of happiness.

Loving-kindness, the condition of our survival

AT BIRTH, human beings are naturally endowed with the qualities we need for our survival, such as caring, nurturing, and loving-kindness. Despite the fact that we already possess such positive qualities, however, we tend to neglect them. As a result, humanity faces unnecessary problems. We need to make more efforts to sustain and develop these basic qualities. That is why the promotion of human values is of primary importance. We also need to focus on cultivating good human relations since, whatever our differences of nationality, religious faith, race, wealth, or education, we are all human beings. Faced with difficulties, we always meet someone, a stranger perhaps, who spontaneously offers us help. We all depend on each other in difficult circumstances, and we do so unconditionally. We don’t ask who people are before we help them. We help them because they are human beings like us.²

I pray for a more loving human family

Even when I meet a stranger

Each time I have the same feeling:

“He is another member of my human family.”

Such an attitude deepens

My affection and respect for all beings.

May this natural loving-kindness

Become my small contribution to world peace!

I pray for a world that is more friendly,

More loving, and for a better understanding

Among the human family, on this planet.

That is the appeal I make from the bottom of my heart

To all those who hate suffering

And cherish lasting happiness.

We are all alike

NO MATTER WHAT PART OF THE WORLD we come from, fundamentally we are all the same human beings. We all seek happiness and want to avoid suffering. We all have essentially the same needs and similar concerns. As human beings, we all want to be free, to have the right to decide our own destiny as individuals as well as the destiny of our people. That is human nature.

The problems that confront us today are created by man, whether they are violent conflicts, destruction of the environment, poverty, or hunger. These problems can be resolved thanks to human efforts, by understanding that we are brothers and sisters and by developing this sense of fraternity. We must cultivate a universal responsibility toward each other and extend it to the planet that we have to share.

I feel optimistic that the ancient values that have sustained mankind are reaffirming themselves today, preparing the way for a better, happier twenty-first century.

I pray for all of us, oppressor and friend, so that together we can succeed in building a better world through mutual understand...